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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

breastfeeding mums???

109 replies

Jumpingovaries1 · 02/07/2014 08:46

Can you give me your tips please? I only managed to feed dd1 for 5 days looking back I now realise it didn't work out as I didn't expect how much she would want to feed and coupled with all the comments of she can't be getting enough if she is feeding again etc etc I gave up and switched to formula. I also had stupidly read a very routine based baby book ( you can prob guess which one) and was determined to make a routine work I can now see that life would have been much easier for me and dd if I had just went with the flow.
I'm pregnant again and I am determined to make it work I've been reading up on it and now realise that the first few weeks/nights it can be pretty much constant. How did you cope with this? And did you end up sleeping with your baby we have bought a bedside cot as thought this would make through the night much easier. Any tips would be really appreciated Thanks

OP posts:

bonkersLFDT20 · 02/07/2014 11:36

Marylou I think if people ask for all the nitty gritty details then it's absolutely to fine to be honest and open, it's just when people off-load all manner of shit in an unhelpful manner that I get annoyed.

shroedingersdodo · 02/07/2014 11:36

Great advice here! Just adding 2 things:

1 - if you have any difficulty check for tongue tie. My life would've been easier with DS2 if someone told me that...

2 - When DS2 was feeding (which was incredibly often) I would sit on the floor and play with DS1. I could give a lot of one-to-one attention to DS1 this way.

KnackeredMuchly · 02/07/2014 11:42

nomdemere Ibuprophen is perfectly safe when breastfeeding, and very useful. It is not recommended for pregnancy.

nomdemere · 02/07/2014 11:45

Knackered - wish I'd known that a few years ago! MW said it wasn't!

Marylou62 · 02/07/2014 11:59

Bonkers...yes I am very careful not to give unsolicited advice...we are very close...she saw me gritting teeth etc...she didn't have a Mother around...she asked. Must say she saw all the good bits too....and saw it all becoming better and blissful.

bonkersLFDT20 · 02/07/2014 12:05

marylou you sound like a good friend

Writerwannabe83 · 02/07/2014 12:31

My DS is 14 weeks and EBF. I went through a horrendous time trying to get BF established, my DH and HV were seriously concerned about my mental health at one think, thinking I was heading into PND because I couldn't stop crying about it. I joined a breast feeding group, rang helplines, had peer supporters come to my house, saw a Lactation Consultant and also met with the BF Co-Ordinator for my County.

Without the support of others I really don't think I would have continued. But the main crux if my determination was simply because BF was important to me and I didn't want to give formula.

The first 6 weeks were awful, DS was feeding anywhere over 10 times a day but things did get better. He now only feeds 5-7 times, so much better.

Breast feeding comes naturally to some women but it certainly didn't for me!

Just go with the flow, expect nothing, feed baby whenever he wants it and just wait for the hard times to pass.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

dustarr73 · 02/07/2014 13:10

I loved bf and found it incredibly easy,not all women do though.But there are positive stories out there and not all horror stories.
If you take it one day at a time its much easier than thinking you have months of this.Always have loads of food as i was surprised how hungry i got.And feed,feed ,feed away and when in doubt get teh boob out.

Original poster

Jumpingovaries1 · 02/07/2014 13:12

Wow thank you for the advice. My dd will be 6 when baby comes and oh works away 4 weeks at a time and we have a dog to walk so lazy days in bed won't quite work out when oh is back to work but I will definitely be making use of a sling and taking full advantage of quiet time when dd1 is at school.

OP posts:

Misspilly88 · 02/07/2014 13:14

hmm & happy Just to clarify, I'm not advocating 'joining a method', just that APUK has lots of articles which OP may find supportive, especially if they're research based. And also other people who are like minded, as it can be very isolating if all the people you see in RL are advocating CIO etc.

I actually hate the AP label, but they have some good advice. Just follow what feels right for you.

micah · 02/07/2014 13:25

Don't get them weighed.

Don't listen to anyone who tells you they aren't getting enough, should be sleeping through, must be hungry…

Go entirely on your gut. Is he sleeping well (even if not much- sleeping is good and doesn't mean they have no energy from lack of milk). If he's weeing and pooing then he's getting enough milk. Is he reaching approximate milestones, and does he seem and look happy and healthy? Does he cry- if he has the energy to cry and get cross he's doing OK..

If you're both happy with breastfeeding and how it's going, ignore everyone else.

gelati3 · 02/07/2014 13:26

Try to get plenty rest and eat and drink healthy (planning ahead and freezing healthy meals helps). Not easy but it helps the supply. (I was told "oh, as you are BFing, you can eat lots of cake and cream and other naughty things"- in my view, that is the worst thing you can do. Your body needs nutritious food to make the milk and too much sugar will make you tired). Sorry if I am stating the obvious but I wish I had made more time for rest and healthy eating when I started BFing. It was hard work for me at the beginning as supply was slow to get established but thankfully had advice and support from midwife, health visitor and lactation consultant.

RockandRollsuicide · 02/07/2014 13:43

Put it this way, on my ward ( i had elc was in three days) My baby was the only one who was not crying because I kept her with me in bed and she fed pretty much constantly all night.

However we wedged in, and neither could move...and I could dose. another lady her baby was crying all the time and eventually not allowed to go home as wasnt putting on weight and after leaving the poor women eventualy mw came along and helped her

anyway first time I was shocked by how time consuming BF was and felt really tied down and miserable...and didnt do it right, was mad about expressing all the time so my supply never settled down etc...i as gorged for days.

this time, we went with flow...i knew what to expect and we are still going strong now, too strong in fact 16 months down the road!

having said that, it has been much easier in every way than bottle feeding the first.

Marylou62 · 02/07/2014 14:01

thankyou Bonkers....I try! Her Mum died when she(we) was 15 and as I was a childrens nurse (breastfeeding co-ordinator on the NNU) and am now a nanny she comes to me for advice. My DCs are much older than hers so she has seen what we have gone through! Her DCs, my God children and I am their legal guardian in case any thing happens to her or DH, are amazing tho and shes done all the work!! I go to her tho when I am stuck with a computer issue!

ChickenFajitasAndNachos · 02/07/2014 15:56

Although I breast fed DS2 very often during the first couple of weeks I spaced the feeds further apart after that by taking him out for lots of walks in the pram. The feeds then went to about 3/3and a half hourly during the day and he slept through the night at 8 weeks. I didn't do co sleeping though as I worried it would be really hard to break the habit. Breastfeeding but still with a routine worked for me as I really wanted to feed him myself after not being able to breast feed DS1 but needed some sort of routine myself.

summertimeandthelivingiseasy · 02/07/2014 16:14

I bf 1 singleton, and then twins.

What nomdemom said at the beginning.

With the twins, I used to write down when I had fed them (mainly because I could not remember who I had fed and when, otherwise), and used their natural routine as a guide.

They used to feed more in the morning, had a longer break in the afternoon (where we went out - they also slept a bit longer with a pram ride) and feed very frequently between 6pm and 8pm.

Every so often, if we were in for a couple of days, I used to just feed them purely on demand, to make sure we were getting it right.

LadyRabbit · 02/07/2014 17:23

So much great advice on this thread!
Kellymom is a brilliant site - not too preachy just informative. There are also great videos on YouTube that I would use in the early days to check that I had positioned DS correctly and was aiding his latch. Yeah, pretty much expect to feed on demand to get the supply going well - dont expect too much of yourself, try not to put any pressure on lengths of time (in terms of months etc), just go feed by feed, day by day.

And one invaluable tip passed down from an experienced BF'ing mate of mine was to stave off mastitis by having wrm showers often and give your boobs a gentle but thorough massage. Worked for me - I had a few blocked ducts in the early months and found wanting up boobs before a feed and cooling them down after helped any discomfort . (Hope I've got that the right way round!)

Honestly, if I managed to BF ANYONE can! I was so NOT going to do it, I was also going to have a maternity nurse and put baby in his room down the hall from day one. And here I am still BF'ing and co-sleeping three years on.

Best of luck, hope it all goes well.

redexpat · 02/07/2014 17:57

invest in netflix or get a stack of box sets. ds fed for 40 minutes at a time, so was able to work through my west wing box sets.

also make sure your arm is supported because otherwise you can ens up with back/shoulder/neck pain. bf pillows are fairly easy to come by.

redexpat · 02/07/2014 17:58

also whar summer said about writing down feeds, and which boob you started on.

Marylou62 · 02/07/2014 18:20

Red...You can get phone apps to do that!!! I know...amazing...I just used to jiggle a boob to feel which one was fullest! Seriously, my very switched on MB used one and was great...
Always make sure you sit down to feed with a muslin, a drink, the tv remote, even a nappy/wipes for a change mid feed, a snack and just ENJOY!!! I think I would have been a wet nurse 100 years ago! Or shall I move to a country where Grandmas feed their GC!

GreenPetal94 · 02/07/2014 18:25

They do feed more at the beginning but in my experience (2) not all the time.

mandybeesborough · 02/07/2014 19:19

My story was similar to yours. Stopped bf dd1 at 6weeks. Still bf dd2 at 15 months.

What I did second time.
Got all my sources of support lined up ready. I went to local Bf cafe before dd2 arrived. I found going out to things like that too daunting after dd1. I was exhausted and intimidated tbh. No need to be it was v friendly but going before baby was born took the edge off. Plus they gave me some really useful tips I used in hosp in first few days. I went a few days after birth and for first 6 weeks. Not because of any problems more for reassurance.

Kellymom.

Research safe co sleeping now. Not when sleep deprived in aftermath of new baby. I think I managed bf only by co sleeping. Great you got cot though, no experience off one but they sound useful.

missymayhemsmum · 02/07/2014 19:30

Erm.....
Make sure you have Kamillosan and a drink in reach. BF lying down if you can. (line the bed with a towel) If it still hurts while baby's latched on detach (with your finger) and try again. Introduce your eldest to c-beebies, and have a stack of stories to hand. While you're feeding massage the boob underneath with your other hand to check for and sort out any blocked ducts and avoid mastitis. If baby cries, offer boob first before trying anything else. Have a stack of undemanding novels to hand or the TV remote as there's only so long you can gaze lovingly down at your little angel.
If you can afford it/ have room then a rocking chair and footstool is a great thing, if not, make a favourite corner with everything within reach.
Get comfy, you're in for a long haul.
Enjoy!

littlejohnnydory · 02/07/2014 19:38

Find a breastfeeding support group locally so that you meet other breastfeeding mums and aren't comparing with ff babies all the time.

If you have any problems, ask to be referred to the Infant Feeding Coordinator rather than dealing with health visitors and GP's.

Remember 'there are breastfeeding solutions to breastfeeding problems' - supplementing with formula is what many people will suggest first but is very rarely the best solution if you want to continue breastfeeding.

There will be times when baby feeds constantly - doesn't mean you don't have enough milk or that she isn't satisfied by your milk - it means she is boosting your supply to keep up with her growing demands, or feeding to get over a cold, etc.

Have faith that you can feed your baby and that your milk is all she needs and the best thing for her. Surround yourself with people who believe that and ignore anyone who suggests otherwise.

Good luck!

cathpip · 02/07/2014 19:51

I have three dc and my third is the first one that I have successfully managed to breast feed. I got the bottles and the formula just incase but wanted to see how breast feeding went. The difference I think was the fact that I was not obsessed with breast feeding and I had a good community mw, she spotted that dc3 was not latching well due to my breasts being very engorged and suggested expressing off a little to soften them first. Well this worked a treat and we have not looked back, and although I most definately am not anti bottle feeding, I have found breast feeding so much easier. :)

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