breastfeeding mums???

[Jumpingovaries1]

Can you give me your tips please? I only managed to feed dd1 for 5 days looking back I now realise it didn't work out as I didn't expect how much she would want to feed and coupled with all the comments of she can't be getting enough if she is feeding again etc etc I gave up and switched to formula. I also had stupidly read a very routine based baby book ( you can prob guess which one) and was determined to make a routine work I can now see that life would have been much easier for me and dd if I had just went with the flow.
I'm pregnant again and I am determined to make it work I've been reading up on it and now realise that the first few weeks/nights it can be pretty much constant. How did you cope with this? And did you end up sleeping with your baby we have bought a bedside cot as thought this would make through the night much easier. Any tips would be really appreciated Thanks

I breastfed both of my DSs on demand and it was more than a full-time job! I had a cot right up by the bed with the side dropped down for the first few weeks. DS1 was a bit difficult to settle even when he had fed so DH had the job of cuddling him while I got some zzzzs.

The eldest would guzzle and then be sick which was very disheartening as I felt I ran out of milk around late afternoon. I took to drinking "breastfeeding" herbal tea (from the herbalists) - it seemed to help although that could just be because I had a seat for half an hour drinking lots of liquid.

I joined a breastfeeding support group run by the local midwife and Health Visitor and it was great - usually around a dozen of us in a circle, given a tea or coffee and a biscuit and chatting and getting advice.

I also joined a toddler group for my eldest and the volunteers there were lovely, holding baby so you could play with the eldest, playing with the eldest so you could feed the baby, making you a cup of coffee that you could drink from top to bottom without interruption (miracle!)

It is a bit different for No.2 because your eldest child does need attention. Sometimes your knee has to be quite capacious to hold both of them at once - and don't get me started on trying to sort out potties with a baby latched on ...! You sometimes do have to do a bit of pre-emptive planning (e.g. feed the baby before you go out) but mostly it worked fine.

But it's great, I was really committed to it and it worked - my mother was a bit about it and kept trying to push me to four-hourly feeds but I just held the line that advice had changed and feeding on demand, as much as the baby wants as often as they want it, was the thing.

I expressed and froze (so someone else could give a bottle although that isn't recommended in the early days), and when I had a cracked nipple I expressed that side to protect it a bit while it healed.

And yes I did the cabbage leaf thing for a sore breast and it did the trick disgusting though

Good luck OP!

Do what the baby wants, when it wants it. Feed when it cries, sleep when it's tired, play when awake. Cuddles aplenty if it's a cuddly baby; love regardless. If you listen to the baby rather than the 'experts' and the in-laws you'll be much happier.

My top tips:
We had an alongside cot, with dropped side (our mattress and the cot mattress lined up) so could scoop DS out of cot in night, feed and put back.

Baby sleeping bags are brilliant for night-time breastfeeding, because the baby doesn't go back into a cold bed after feeding and yell, they stay snuggly in their sleeping bag.

Disadvantage of sleeping bag is they may fall asleep before they have eaten enough, which means they don't sleep long enough as get hungry too soon. If you think this is happening, blow gently on their hair/ cheek to wake them and get them to carry on.

I used a bracelet which I swapped from arm to arm to indicate which breast to start from next time (I couldn't tell otherwise, esp in the early days, and I was too tired to remember). You may end up repeatedly swapping boobs during one feeding session in the early days, until DC has had enough. To keep the size of my boobs even, I found ensuring the next feeding session always started on the opposite boob helped (hence the bracelet).

I got ravenous, and especially when cluster feeding couldn't move far - so had feeding 'stations' around the house - comfy chair, book, radio, loads of snacks, drinks (I had small fruit juice cartons), and (esp at night - winter baby) something warm to wrap up in (for me) as tiredness and pjs meant shivering. Something to read/ do (laptop/ radio) also helped keep me awake on the night feeds.

Freeze/ get people to make/ buy in meals you can eat one-handed!

Don't listen to interfering relatives or friends. Nothing undermines your confidence as much as the phrase 'are you sure s/he's getting enough?'. Reminds me of Dr Who when he wrecks the Prime Minister's career by saying 'doesn't she look tired'.

That bracelet idea is genius!!!! I always used to forget which side I'd done.

I miss BFing...

Norah I remember my father (world renowned BFing expert. Not) asking me if my 5 month old was getting enough. She was 90% in both weight and height.

I struggled to bf my first two dc, and was essentially like you. Before dc3 arrived I read a lot of the bfing threads on here. It helped me know what to expect.

With dc2 I was freaked out when ge wanted to feed for 2 hours at a time. By DC3 I knew it was normal and was mentally prepared for it. Just as well as DD fed from 6pm until 10pm most nights for the first 3 months.

Being mentally prepared for what will happen helps. Also if you can go to a bfing group it is helpful. If you have any tiny concerns they can help put them to rest. I used to still worry about little things when dd was 6 months old. But we did 15 months altogether and it was great.

Eat, Eat, Eat and drink plenty.
You are making milk for your baby -you must eat.
I didn't with my first and it took a while to get established.
With my second baby I piled the fruitcake in and bingo - tons of milk!

Tell those who ask if you are dieting to get the baby weight down to fuck off !

My DF renowned BF expert told me my EBF baby was too fat - I told him to naff off!

Someone further up thread said to not get your baby weighed- please do get your baby weighed often in the first couple of weeks while you are trying to get breastfeeding established- I thought I was doing fine with my second baby, I did everything the same as I had done for my first child - I fed him with out a hitch. I thought everything was moving along the same way, I tried feeding pretty constantly and was quite pleased. My baby ended up back in hospital being tube fed as she had lost so much weight.
After being there for 4 days we got home and I carried on, she appeared to latch, she appeared to swallow, plenty of wet and dirty nappies. However over the following five days she lost loads of weight again. It did all come right after an exhausting time of expressing and feeding every 2 hours to get weight on her.
So for me, without having her weighed we could have ended up in a scarier situation as she appeared to breast feed and I felt confident. I got it wrong. Weighing breastfed babies at the start is important I feel.

Tearsof, why was your baby losing so much weight? I was told that plenty of wet nappies combined with the baby being active and responsive was a good indicator that the baby was feeding enough. The wet nappies advice was one of the main things I watched for. Has the advice on this changed?

God how I wish I had had access to all this lovely advice when I was BFing my DD back in the late 90s. I was struggling against Hvs and friends telling me to get her into a routine, put her on the bottle, stop letting her rule me, that I was making a rod for my back with the demand feeding, that I was putting her in mortal danger by co-sleeping, that she wasn't thriving, and that She should be 'on the bottle by now'.
I'm a stubborn fucker though. BF till she was 2, (in public too, and back in the days before BF was allowed by law) and told my HV and a few GPs to eff off

OP, I wish you the best of luck . Find a good support network, there's loads out there now whoever that is for you, and try your best to walk away from or just ignore people giving you bad advice.

I would also say do have your baby weighed in the early days. My 3rd DC (so you would think I was more capable) lost a lot of weight in the first few days - turned out she was very severely jaundiced and needed 24 hours under a sun lamp. I hadn't realised there was a problem (they'd all been a bit jaundiced - hers was way worse).

I'm in the not weighing camp. My three children have all dropped down the centile charts by several centiles, then settled on one of the lower lines (one did drop below the bottom line). So much pressure to supplement with formula, which I did with my first because I believed the advice that my milk wasn't good enough and that he was starving.

Supplementing, and even the introduction of solid food, made not a blind bit of difference. My children were perfectly healthy, found their natural weight, and travelled up that centile. They still are. At the ages of 6, 4 and 2, they are long and skinny but eat like horses. Slow weight gain isn't always indicative of a problem and I fully intend to decline weighing for my fourth child due in the Autumn.

If you do decide to weigh baby, do look at the overall picture and don't panic if the weight isn't increasing but the rest of baby's development and wellbeing are good, plenty of wet and dirty nappies, contented baby, meeting milestones.

Juule, my baby had jaundice but not at a level that needed photo therapy ( although she did receive it in the hospital eventually as it crept up a bit after admission). The jaundice can make babies sleepy to feed adequately and we think that's what happened to her. Yes, nappies gave no cause for alarm and she put on a good show of feeding so we were very shocked both times her weight dropped. I agree, wet and dirty nappies are generally seen as a great indicator that things are going well but not in our case. She is thriving now though but I do combination feeding and it works very well for us.

I really think as well if you have a lovely hv it makes all the difference.I was 22 having my first 19 years ago,i didnt know one woman who bf.My mama was very supportive but i had a lovely hv who was very kind and gave me loads of encouragement.But i had no problems at all.He latched on well and fed well.

And you can always use your hv to your advantage, getting them to tell people you need your rest or telling them to keep teh comments to tehmselves.

Thanks for the reply tearsof. Glad to hear she is now doing well.

Someone up thread said about 'being a stubborn fucker' and I really think this is needed!

I had the world and his wife telling me to give DD a bottle. 'She needs topping up'
'It's fine while they're little, but now she needs some proper milk'

It's the same thing if you wait until 6 months to wean, especially if you don't give them any baby rice because you're BLW

Just do lots of research before hand and have a clear idea in your mind of what you want to do. Then just get your 'smile and nod face' at the ready (I learnt that one from MN )

Reading this thread I'm slightly horrified at the thought of "doing nothing else" but bfing for two of three months!

Am I the only one who doesn't fancy that AT ALL???!! Some people are saying they went through a horrendous time, and were crying all the time, and it was very stressful but it came good in the end. My mind boggles - I don't want to go through all that when its meant to be the happiest time of my life!

I know that for some bfing came incredibly easy, but even then the thoughts of lying there for months like a "mammal" as someone put it..... It actually makes me a bit weepy and scared to contemplate.

I suddenly feel very alone in not actually wanting to watch box sets for two months.

I breast fed DS2 and didn't feed continuously. I pretty much did the same as I did with bottle-feeding but slightly more often. Feeds would take about 45 minutes and then I wouldn't feed again for a few hours. If he stopped feeding and was just suckling i would either encourage him to feed or stop the feed and wind him. I had another child to look after and a family to care for so couldn't sit feeding all day. I never did the hourly or two hourly feeding and DS2 dropped the night feed pretty quickly.

Knowledge Is Power. I read up a lot about BFing beforehand. I found The Food of Love especially helpful.

My DH likes to be as informed as possible about everything so he also read up. Consequently he wasn't fazed by cluster feeding etc and was happy to do chores and make me tea and toast when I was pinned under a baby on the sofa.

Whilst it's sometimes helpful to learn about other people's experiences it is very important not to allow yourself or your DP to be misled by unreliable information or scary anecdotes from friends, colleagues, family members etc.

Also go to your local BF clinic for advice and support whenever you feel you need to. I visited mine a couple of times when things were tough and they were brilliant, so supportive. My friend went every week to have her baby weighed and that's what she found helpful.

I'm lucky in that both my boys fed every couple of hours from the get-go, meaning at two weeks we were out to the park for gentle strolls and so on. I couldn't be doing with being inside all day.

Also, I'm in the US, and this is not popular in the UK at all, but buy a manual pump and start pumping once a day when your baby is around two or three weeks. It's so much easier to introduce bottles at this stage. I've done this twice, and DS2, as per DS1, has a daily bottle of expressed milk. In the beginning, those precious few ounces can then be used for one of the night feeds, or during the day, and either way will allow you more continuous sleep or a decent nap. I highly recommend the Lansinoh manual pump, which is a good price and works excellently (I can pump six ounces in about five minutes).

My first DS was a dream...3 hourly feeds, nappy change in the middle...took about 45 mins to an hour...then sleep for 3 hours. DD on the other hand was a nightmare. But I didn't mind. Its surprizing what you can achieve with a baby latched on!
Annarose...just go with the flow. You might have an 'easy' baby and wonder what all the fuss was...you might have a 'demanding' baby and then choose to switch to FF. It really does not matter in the least. Stand outside any school and try and guess who was BF and who was FF. If it works it can be magical. If not.....And this is a nanny/neonatal nurse who has fed hundreds of babies their bottle...even tho I am not their Mummy it is still one of my top ten things to do...feed and nurture precious little ones.

I remember when DS was 10 days old and friends came over...I had baked a cake!! Fast forward DD.....fed every 1 1/2 hours and hardly slept...cried constantly...was only happy on boob. DS2....now if he was crying I thought I'd just get washing in...just make other 2 a sandwich etc and lo he'd gone to sleep. Keeping him asleep...now that was another thread...he went upstairs to a quiet room quite early.

I certainly did not sit in feeding all day.I had 2 younger kids and 2 teenagers.I was out and about.I find if you are out they sleep so no need for so much feeding.Also i would have went mad sitting in.