Daughter being bitten and scratched at local playground

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We visit a playground a couple of times a week and there is another child there who is very excitable and lively. Lots of biting and shouting/being loud and grabbing/scratching other children.

My daughter has been scratched in the eye (very purposefully, with clenched claws attacking centre of face), had the back of her ear scratched so severely it bled, and bitten on 2 occasions (peeling skin and teeth marks that stayed for days).

The mother of the child is defensive when I have tried to talk about it and justifies behaviour by saying her child was provoked (pushed or had a toy taken away for example).

I don't want to stop going to the local playground 5 minutes from our house where we have made lots of friends, because of this child. But also don't know what to do if the other mum won't discipline or tell her child it's wrong to hurt someone. What would you do?

What have you said to the other mum when you approached her and what was her response? Could the other child have SN?

How old are the children?

Ask your daughter to stay away from bitey child? Call the mother to attention every time bitey child attacks?

Failing that, intervene yourself and tell Bitey Child to stop it.

I've asked the other child to apologise, and the mother says no to apologising because her child was provoked. I've tried to explain it's not really a justified reaction to having a toy taken away but it falls on deaf ears.

Our children are both 4.5, certainly way past impulsive toddler biting.

The other child has been told by me they are hurting someone and it's wrong but this hasn't made a difference.

I'm shocked at how the other mum is not appalled or sorry that her child is seriously hurting others.

You can't go anything either you go when they aren't there or you keep your child away while you are there. Not fair but necessary to keep your child safe.

who owns the toys that are being taken away from him

I really would just tell your DD to stay away, it's all you can do really.

Bitey child's mother is doing them no favours by condoning their behaviour, pretty soon they'll have nobody brave enough left to play with them.

The 'toys' have been a feather found at the playground and my child's bucket and spade.

4.5 is too old to be pushing or taking toys away from other children, maybe deal with the behavioral issues that are in your control.

Another concern is that I think the other child will be at the same school as my daughter in September. There is only really one school that is close to this playground and I think they live very locally because they are there as often as us.

Even if they are yiur toys I think children need to learn to share their toys in a public place. Ds has a trike with a handle so I can push it along, all the other toddlers had a go on his trike at the park today, he wasn't pleased to start with but when I explained that they were only borrowing the trike whilst we were on the swings/in the sandpit he was fine with it.

Sounds like you may have to do a bit of helicopter parenting when you see this kids.

I'm one of those mums that do tell off others peoples kids, in a sweety it's not nice to push/hit/bite gouge eyes out kind if way. If she can't reprimand her kid I think you need to.

(Hopefully school will sort them out a bit)?

My daughter pushed when the other child took away her bucket and wouldn't give it back. When asked the other child shouted "no".

My daughter apologised for pushing but other child did not apologise for making her bleed by scratching her face.

Share the toys in a public place or get bitten? really??. I could just imagine how that would transfer to the school playground Your dc doesn't have to share toys op, just like my dc don't share their bikes with random kids in the playground. I would follow your dc around op and intervene where necessary. Bloody annoying though when parents don't bother to intervene when their child is behaving like that.

Is this child displaying the same bad behaviour to other little playground visitors, and if so, what are the other Mums saying? Would you not be able to collectively make clear to this Mum of Master Bitey that you are not happy with his behaviour and she needs to nip it in the bud (no pun intended) before he starts school. Otherwise, he is going to find it very difficult to settle, because he can't get his own way.

Also, 4.5 is not a toddler - he is a pre-schooler (some children around his age are already in Reception Class), and quite old enough to know that biting and scratching to get your own way is not acceptable.

omg yanbu a 4.5 year old should not bite however provoked they are.

Sharing isn't a problem when she is asked and things aren't pulled out of her hands.

Hovering probably is the only solution here. I am feeling very helpless that my child has been so badly hurt and I cannot really do anything. And upset that other parent doesn't care.

Is this in Liverpool?? Is the child Uruguayan?? If not, then if fall back on my P1 teacher mantra "you don't have to like everyone or what they do but there is never ever a reason to hurt anyone else". Biting in 4.5year old as a first reaction is not developmentally appropriate. I've taught p1 for 25 years and could count the biters on one hand. And in each case it a been a momentary lapse, never to happen again. Not the first reaction every time. This is a child to be avoided-in the same way as you'd avoid a biting dog! This child isn't in control and the mums attitude is compounding the problem!

Just keep her away from bitey kid. There is nothing you can do. You've tried speak g to mum and child with no positive outcome - so just move.

When bitey kid comes over just pick your stuff up and move to a different space or maybe go at a different time.

Regardless if bitey kid has SN - its still not acceptable. Having a SN does not give a free pass for bad behaviour.

Your dd also needs to learn to keep her hands to herself.

That's how I feel. At 4 years old a child should know when they are really hurting someone.

The other parents are aware of this child's behaviour and the mum's laid back approach. But no one really wants to kick up a fuss they just keep their children away.

I would hover for a while and keep an eye on things and whenever Mr bitey pants comes close move your daughter or tell her to be careful as some children don't ask nicely...

And the next time blood was drawn I would have serious words with the mother

Hovering sound like, unfortunately, the way forward in this case. Also I would suggest do not allow this bites child to 'share' your Dds toys.
She isn't showing good behaviour so she shouldn't be rewarded with your Dds toys.
If she shows signs of biting/scratching or maybe even comes near your dd I would be saying ' no go away because you hurt dd last time we saw you and that is very unkind. '

I wouldn't worry about the school if it's a good one as I've seen kids with some very challenging behaviour come good at school when there's clear boundaries.