Daughter being bitten and scratched at local playground

[Anchors]

We visit a playground a couple of times a week and there is another child there who is very excitable and lively. Lots of biting and shouting/being loud and grabbing/scratching other children.

My daughter has been scratched in the eye (very purposefully, with clenched claws attacking centre of face), had the back of her ear scratched so severely it bled, and bitten on 2 occasions (peeling skin and teeth marks that stayed for days).

The mother of the child is defensive when I have tried to talk about it and justifies behaviour by saying her child was provoked (pushed or had a toy taken away for example).

I don't want to stop going to the local playground 5 minutes from our house where we have made lots of friends, because of this child. But also don't know what to do if the other mum won't discipline or tell her child it's wrong to hurt someone. What would you do?

Scottishmummy
It IS the teacher's job to protect one child from another, and Anchors would be quite right to speak to the teacher privately about it.

Jane,you're speculating on the other mum being inappropriate or hostile.
In the case of two adults,and potential hostility,that'll be subject to scrutiny
One can't assume the other mum will be inappropriate or this will escalate

It's not a school matter,the behaviours didn't occur at School.kids not. At school
Again you're speculating what ifs.based on playpark history.
No reason to assume the inappropriate behaviour will continue

Oh Scottishmummy I only recommended calling them if Anchors is in the playground, dealing with the issue "as it happens" and the biting child's mum starts getting aggressive against Anchors' attempts to stop the biting child. As I wrote earlier, if the police just turn up and have a word it might help biting child's mum reflect about her behaviour.

auntjane2 you only have to read the bullying threads on here to know schools and teachers don't always protect one child from another

Anchors I think reinforcing to your dd that she should say 'no' and tell an appropriate adult is a great idea. It's a technique that should work if she ever finds herself in such a situation again. In the meantime, I think you do have to helicopter parent at the playground. It's the only way to keep your dd safe. Even if the other mum was responsive, if the dc's automatic response is to lash out then the only way that can be avoided is if you're on hand all the time.

Sounds like you may have to do a bit of helicopter parenting when you see this kid

Just what I was thinking! Children don't need to learn to share in a public place. What about being in park means that I have to encourage my child to let others use her stuff? I often have my phone with me when we go to the park, should I let other adults use it? Always travel to the park in my car, should I let other adults take it for a spin around the block?

A possession is just that, it belongs to the child in question. Unless the other child is a guest in your home, your child is under absolutely NO obligation to share at all.

Scottishmummy
I always made it clear on what assumptions / speculations / basis I was writing, principally what Anchors has described.
It IS a school matter if a child is at risk of harm, like being scratched to bleeding or scratched in the eye. It IS a police matter if a child is at risk of such harm. It IS a matter for Anchors.

BookABooSue then a bit of information shared privately with the teacher cannot do any harm: it is a form of telling an appropriate adult, to reinforce your point to Anchors

auntjane2 you misunderstood my point then. I would not be telling a teacher about an event that happened before a dc started school and outwith school.
If (and to me it seems like quite a big 'if') the dc does exhibit similar behaviour at school and if it is directed at Anchor's dd then I would mention the previous incidents but I wouldn't be anticipating a problem in advance. Perhaps I'm idealistic or naive but I wouldn't want to brand a dc as a problem at the very start of their school days especially since they might act completely different when in a school environment.

Sorry, not read whole thread, but I would not take any toys of DD to playground. That might reduce fights? though there'll prob be something else . . .
I have told another child off at playgroup sternly for pushing my DS out of a car. Mother is pretty pathetic and child looked surprised that someone spoke to her so sternly !
Good luck OP - hope it gets better. Are there any other children close by that also play at park that your DD could play with ?