I know I'm being unreasonable but I need help please!

[Snowwhite22]

I am 32 and I've had spots since I was 13. Some times it's better than others but at the moment I'm going through a really bad flare up.

We took the dc to their school fete this morning and we all got soaked. We went into the toilets to sort our selves out and I made the mistake of looking in the mirror. My skin looked awful and so did all the make up I've put on to try to hide the spots. My dh said to go home and get changed and then go back to the fete again(it's only a 10minute walk). Once we got home, I said I didn't want to go back and that anyone could stay with me if they also didn't want to go. Everyone wanted to go so I've just waved them off and quickly gone into the bathroom to wash my face and put my spot cream on.

I really wanted to be with my family but I just can't go back talking to all the other parents when I'm so embarrassed about my skin.
I double cleanse twice a day and put Duac cream on that I get from the doctors. I'm always asking for a referral to see a skin specialist but I'm told the spots are not bad enough.
I only drink water and don't eat chocolate. What else can I do? Can any one give me some ideas? I know it's wrong to hide away so please don't be hard on me, just really need help.

OP I can empathise, I started with rosecea when I got pregnant with ds at 33. i spent 6 years embarrassed by how I looked and trying various creams/gels/lotions and potions. My GP finally started me on antibiotics 6 months ago which has cleared mine up, but just before I started on those, I switched to an oil free moisturiser. I was using an antibiotic gel which wasn't clearing the spots but was leaving me really dry. I found Neutrogena Visibly Clear Oil Free Moisturiser helped loads.

Yanbu, acne is awful because people assume it is something you are doing wrong if they are lucky enough not to have experienced it. Firstly, I'd say that other people often barely notice other people's spots but we feel self conscious and think everyone is looking at them. Secondly, if you are already down about them, you may be a bit prone to depression, therefore, I would urge you to think carefully about roaccutane which can cause depression in those who are susceptible and long term antibiotics also have implications for your long term health. I would agree about looking into acupuncture, cutting down sugar and try to go dairy free for a few weeks to see if it helps. Good luck

My skin was exactly the same so I can emphasise. I have PCOS too and it has made a total mess of my chin, it's so depressing and demoralising. But I turned it around without drugs and my skin is looking better ever day.

Firstly diet, no chocolate directly does not cause spots but poor diet will contribute to poor skin. Our skin is an organ like any other and if we eat rubbish we will likely look rubbish. Have a look on the Perricone website for his diet plans to get an idea of what food to eat, lots of water, herbal tea, oily fish, nuts, avocado and fruit and veg. Cut right back on alcohol, sugar, fruit juices etc.

Regular exercise is great for reducing stress (and hormones like cortisol) good walk in the fresh air and yoga really helps me. I do the Tara Lee Elements of Yoga, it is only 20 minutes and I do it when I get in to set me up for the evening. The first 20 minute segment is free in You Tube.

Caroline Hirons is wonderful! Have a read and start following her principles, especially the double cleanse. I do a first cleanse with a balm to remove make up then use a gentle SLS free face wash as I like the feel.

The two biggest helpers though have been Alpha H Liquid Gold and Argan Oil. Alpha H is a powerful glycolic acid but I look better the first day after using it, it's smoothed my skin tone, got rid of spots, stopped new ones forming, it is amazing stuff. I use it every other night and alternate it with Argan Oil. I was scared at using an oil at first but it actually makes me less oily, I slather it on thick at night, I go over my eyes too as it has helped reduce fine lines and dark circles as well as making my lashes and brows beautifully thick and glossy. When I wake the next day my face is brighter with no dry patches or oily patches, spots go down and are less red and sore. If I am not going out I use it as a day moisturiser too. Neither are cheap to buy but last such a long time that the monthly cost is very low. I buy from Simply Argan and they often have deals on their site, QVC can do really good deals on the Alpha H too.

If you have not tried these things please do, it has made such a difference to me and my sister too, we bother suffered terribly with persistent hormonal acne and now We can get by with some powder and a little concealer instead of thick makeup.

Good luck!

Oh you poor love .

I had completely awful acne right through my teens/early 20s: my back was particularly bad and I struggled to get my GP to help as my face wasn't so bad. My back, though . I still have the scars: I am 35.

My skin is okay these days although it's been a bit "teenaged" recently due to some pretty terrible stress at work and changing my foundation. I have addressed the latter at least and feel a bit better.

I have no real advice other than to say I can empathise, and know that anyone who bothers to look would probably feel nothing but kindness towards you, and take only a milisecond to see beyond your skin. I can promise you I would.

Go to the GP. Sixteen, 23 or 32, no-one should feel the way you do right now.

I have acne rosacea, it is not "spots" which one GP helpfully diagnosed. I use antibiotics which have learned it loads.

I wash using E45 cream and moisturise with a light moisturiser. I have found this leaves my skin soft and not at all oily.

YANBU. If i couldnt take the pill my skin would be in a terrible state so i sympathise. I've tried coming off the pill but the acne always returns afyer a few weeks.

I agree that you should let the doctor know how your skin affects you. People who have never struggled with acne have no idea how shattering it is.

In terms of skincare, i always use the gentlest cleansers I can as the aggressive ones upset the balance of oils on the skin. They can appear to work for a while but then your skin can respond by over producing oil, starting the cycle again. Its also really important to keep your skin moisturised so that your skin is healthy.

I really hope you get the help you need.

Silk pillowcases are good, they aren't too pricey on amazon, they don't leech moisture from the skin overnight & they are very soothing to rest your face on.

Cotton is very absorbent so it will absorb moisture out of skin, acne skin can still be dry skin.

Don't give up. I had terrible cystic acne over my face chest and back 15 years ago. Got infected and I looked like plague victim. I took Roaccutane and within 2 weeks had clear skin. It remodels your skin and gets rid of scarring even chicken pox and big scars went. Was an absolute bloody miracle. I had one flare up 10 years ago and saw a beauty therapist who recommended guinot hydradermie facials and products. The treatment uses current to kill bacteria deep in your skin, deep cleaned, exfoliate and then applies a calming moisturiser. I had a facial once a week and used the products which include an amazing concealer with bare minerals make up. Again a quick fix and soon restored balance and comfort to my skin.
Change your towels and bedding frequently, wash makeup brushes, use products that squeeze out of a tube, drink water, take a multivitamin pill.

I didn't ever have acne but when I got the copper coil which you mentioned you also have, I got terrible spots. Big lumpy hard cyst type spots. They started round my hairline and got worse until they were all over my face and started on my cleavage and back too.
I googled and found that lots of people have this problem caused by excess copper and if you take a Zinc supplement it balances out the copper and mine cleared up within days.
You have to find a zinc on its own as it is usually paired with copper. I get a high strength one from holland and Barrett and take it daily.
Hope you get sorted :-)

How's it going op?

I know someone else has said if but I use bio oil and it's made assailed difference to my skin. It's also toned down the redness and is apparently good for scarring. I use it in the morning and at night.

Sorry loads of typos. On phone.

Hi op, sorry I haven't had a chance to read all of the responses so don't know if anyone else has suggested this, but what changed my skin totally was retin A cream. I bought it from eBay but you can get it from your GP. Using that (sparingly - just a thin layer over face) every other evening was a complete miracle for my skin.

I do the oil cleanse method with 2/3 sweet almond oil and 1/3 caster oil, and moisturise with a gentle and rich moisturiser (as the retin a can be drying). Good luck!

Insist on a referral to a dermatologist. Dont take no for an answer. They wont fob you off.

Agree with roaccutane. I have had two courses...one at 23 and one at 33. Im now 40. Skin is clear but I wont hesitate to get it again if it comes back. Life is too short to worry about people seeing you with no make up on.

I don't know about spots, OP, but I just wanted to tell you that most people won't care about your appearance, so you shouldn't feel compelled to stay inside.

My weight has yo-yoed a lot over the past 15 years (I fluctuate between 9st and 19st). At 21-23 I spent 18 months living as a recluse because I was so ashamed of my body. I even refused to see my family.

Then,one day, I realised that no one cared.

I am at the upper end of my weight scale these days. I get the odd funny look but I refuse to let it stop me from enjoying days out with my DCs.

I got antibiotics from the doc for a while, I recall they don't like prescribing them if there is a chance you could be/get pregnant, as some can affect developing babies, but other than that, it worked well. For some reason I have gone a bit spotty again recently, I'm really hoping that giving up bfing shifts my hormones back again...

And it is completely normal to feel a bit down when you have a flare up, I wouldn't say that it shows being prone to depression. I was down when I had my major flare up, it feels horrible. This current flare up is bothering me less, as I'm just too tired to care (3yo and 1yo) at the moment!

Poor you OP, bad skin is so awful isn't it - you feel so self-conscious.

I had terrible skin as a teen: went on roaccutane 3x, at 14, 16 and 20. I'm now 32 and haven't had a spot in years. Was on the pill (Yasmin) for 2 years and when I came off that I had a bit of a flare up but it settled down fairly quickly.

Roaccutane is pretty harsh - really dries out your skin, and can give it s sort of freshly peeled look (mmm attractive) and I found it often made my bones ache at the end of the day - BUT it is very effective (v unusual to have to do several courses as I did).

If you don't want to go for roaccutane you could try a course of laser treatments, microdermabrasion & AHA peels, but that would probably be much more expensive.

Be careful what oils you cook with as well? Practically the only oils I can cook with that won't give me a breakout are extra virgin olive oil, sesame oil and coconut. If I only use olive oil because the others have run out, my skin stays exceptionally clear. Canola oil in particular gives me huge breakouts the very next day after I cook with or eat something containing it. I'm not sure if it's the oils themselves or some method used to process it.

I would see another doctor at your local practice and explain what an impact this is having on your state of mind. Being embarrassed to go out with your family sounds pretty serious to me. Maybe your GP isn't aware that this is affecting your life as much as it is.

I really sympathise OP. I suffer with acne, really bad. I always have at least 4 of the under skin, red, sore spots that take ages to get a 'head' and they leave scars. My skin looks absolutely awful, and I won't even pop the shop without smothering concealer on.

I have spent loads of money on Lush products, Neutrogena oil free products, tried Simple but stopped after a few days because they just made my skin more oily, bought light moisturisers and cleansing, toners and exfoliaters and nothing has helped. At all

I feel paranoid when I go out. I walk with my head down and try to hide my face with my coat. It is awful.

I have been trying to get a doctors appointment but can't seem to get through. Been trying all morning since 8.30. Then when I do get through, all appointments are gone

I hope you get it sorted!

Sorry if someone already suggested this, I've only skim-read the thread.

I have/had a similar problem. I tried almost everything, prescription and non-prescription, including retinol creams. Some did help, but they also dried my skin so badly I felt I was swapping one problem for another.

In the end someone suggested the oil cleansing method (google it for more details). It was like a miracle. I don't know why I'd never heard if it before. Cleared my skin completely in about 3 or 4 weeks, and it looks really good now. I don't even need a moisturiser.

I used 95% olive oil and 5% castor oil but you can vary the types and percentages according to your skin type.

Please try it for a few weeks, it was really worth it for me

I feel so down today fluffycloud, thanks for asking. I have to keep going out but I really want to hide away. I have started taking zinc tablets as someone said about the copper coil. When I think about it, my skin has been a lot worse since having the coil. I haven't ever thought it could be that because it's non hormonal.
I will try a few new things and if they don't work then my only option is to go back to doctors and demand a referral. To still feel like this in my 30s is so hard, it's so embarrassing :(

I see someone has mentioned Bio Oil. My son had the worst type of acne you could imagine into his late 20s. I got him some Bio Oil and his skin has cleared up beautifully.

I, too, think you should demand a referral and, if not, then change GPs. Good luck.

I can totally sympathise with you OP.

I've had very bad spots for 10 years now and have tried every skincare routine/diet change going. Nothing makes a difference at all. I can't take the pill either and have recently switched to the copper coil so will look up the zinc tablets! I am currently refusing the leave the house because my chin is covered in huge and very sore spots and nothing is helping them go away. I hate having to wear loads of makeup when I go out. It's a nightmare when it's hot weather and my skin just looks awful with the makeup after about an hour anyway.

What is the roaccatine stuff? (Sorry if I spelt it wrong! I'm on the app and can't look at previous posts). I haven't gone to the GP recently because I also have to call at 8am and when I finally get through at 8.15, all of the appointments have gone. I've just given up now