thread police, yes you.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

aibu to ask what you get out of pointing out to the OP 'what is the AIBU'

AIBU to think that you have nothing better to do.
AIBU to think why didn't you just stick to MNHQ T&C and report.
AIBU to think you just want the attention.

I do agree that being on mumsnet is not a contractual agreement to be supportive and kind - but really, it tips into cruelty and unkindness an awful lot.

For some people, critiquing and picking holes becomes a sign of great savviness and pride - and damn the consequences. But i do think we can differentiate between having an incisive mind / street smart, and a lack of care for the person behind the words.

There is a certain savage joy in ripping someone apart, particularly when 'justified' in some way. The pack behaviour intensifies it and excuses it in people's eyes.

There's been research that shows opinions, language and tone become more extreme on forums.

It's rare that there is a healthy debate on a thread, where people maintain their respect for others alongside their reasoning. It doesn't have to be all fuzzy wuzzy thinking and hun-ing, it is actually possible to be civilised, and have a robust debate.

The thing which annoys me most is when someone, clearly distressed, posts asking for help, but the first replies just pull her up on poor grammar and spelling. Or says something like "I'm sorry I can't possibly read that."

I seriously dislike AIBU. It has introduced a nasty element. Which of course you can't avoid but AIBU has become an excuse to behave like an atrocious wazzock.

Thread police do have a time and a place for all sorts of reasons. MN is a community. We share it. One person's ego or laziness does not trump the community's right to an operational forum. People hide certain topics due to a trigger for example and it is spectacularly crass to splash your own threads in a topic where they don't belong. Of course there are kind ways to express this, people might be new but it's not ridiculous to point out that people could take more care with where they post.

It's like real life. You don't march into the local community centre during the gardening meet and greet and start graphically describing your haemorrhoids. Not more than once anyway.

MN has way too many topics, it's ridiculous imo.

If everyone used the correct topic, I think tumble weed would blow across the entire website, even if everyone did use active convos.

Oh there are way too many topics. True. But this is not a reason to talk about potty training in chat and AIBU. MN need to streamline but people do need to pause and wonder if the world of AIBU is interested in Poo Goes To Pooland.