Hi Bonkers
Not nosey, I'm happy to answer genuine curiosity.
It doesn't seem to be something that has ever affected us, plenty of people guess wrong, we have just turned it into a game.
As I said, there are slight differences, a few more now as they have gotten older, one has a slightly rounder face, but there is honestly not much between them.
We were always worried the boys might get upset if people couldn't tell them apart, especially when they started dressing the same, and along with the fact they had such severe speech problems they struggled to say their own names and their twins name. So we turned it into a game, let's see if people can guess, then we can laugh at them when they get it wrong (all done in jest obviously)
Dad and I would pretend to get the wrong one, and turn it into a game that way, or just call them some random other name, like Bob or Percy. It would make them laugh and so they think it's fun when people have to ask, or get it wrong.
They are very laid back little boys, not much fazes them, if someone gets it wrong, they laugh it off.
They are in seperate classes at school now (at our request) but join eachother for math. Twin A goes into Twin Bs classroom and is taught by Twin As teacher, and she has to think for a second where she has placed twin B... So far they have never switched seats while she is not looking, but she joked with us on parents evening she wouldn't be able to tell if they had, she is a nice, good humoured sort, so I'm tempted to test this theory and get them to switch on the last day of the year, but I don't want them to think they can do that all the time, so I'm hesitant to do it now iyswIm?
The only time it bothers me that people can't tell them apart, is when it is their own Aunty (she is seriously the ONLY member of the [in laws] family that can't) She doesn't even try.
I have a friend who lives an 8 hour drive away, so we only see him once or twice a year, and even he can get it right most times, but she has never gotten it right in 8 years...
I have always encouraged them to be individual, but I've also encouraged them to be happy within themselves, and sometimes they are happier, when they are dressed the same, it's a comfort thing.
They are not the most confident of boys due to the speech delay etc.
They are also sooo close it's unreal. They rarely argue, I think in 8 years I can count on one hand the disagreements... even as toddlers. They do everything together, again, not something I have encouraged. I have tried to get them to do different things, they won't have any of it. But if they are happy, then that's all that matters to me, that's all any of us really want isn't it?