mn jury . Whi is bu?

[northandsouth4]

Background. I am a sahm with a very energetic toddler (20 months) Normally I have to take him with me to doctors appointments etc. Sometimes he is ok but sometimes he is a nightmare. We also have 2 school aged dc.

So dh has a day off tomorrow. He is meeting his dad for lunch as it is his mum's anniversary. I really need to have an eye test. I tried to get one at the weekend when we were out without success. So I mentioned to dh that I would book a test for tomorrow. I booked it for early morning so it wouldn't impact on him going out for lunch with his dad.

So this evening he clearly had the hump with me and moaned that he would now not be able to get the things he wanted to do done as he would have to go out for lunch upon my return.

I said that surely he could do it after lunch but he wasn't happy with this as he would get caught in rush hour traffic.

Aibu to think he could be a bit more helpful as at least he does get a day off.

I understand he may be feeling fragile. It doesn't matter how many years have past. A parent's anniversary still hurts. However, I find spending time with my children actually helps. So I thought giving him the opportunity for some rare one on one time with his youngest and doing me a huge favour was a good thing.

I'd echo FunkyBoldRibena

When do you get your day off??

He is getting the rest of the day. I need him to look after our child for 2 hours tops so I can sort out much needed glasses.

Pictish I think op means that the meal is in another town from the opticians so he was planning to shop there and then meet.

The last thing you want at an sad anniversary meal is a toddler.

And so he should.

Op can't you rebook for the weekend?

Oh I see! Righto.

Meals out with the toddler are generally a nightmare. He just doesn't want to sit still. He is a lovely boy but very strong willed.

No one gets a day off being a parent though do they? Not really.

Op days he works long hours as of course so does she.

If it was just an ordinary day off then he should of course have the toddler but it's a sensitive day.

At least the anniversary of my inlaws deaths are to us and especially to dh, particularly the first one.

Yanbu, he can still go for his meal and spend the afternoon with his father and can take the toddler with him if he wants to go shopping in the morning.

An eye test can wait a week, it really can. On his mum's anniversary it should be his choice what is appropriate - you think he might want to spend time with his DCs but if he doesn't then you go with his wishes.

YABU
it's only an eye test
take the kid with you

He was planning to shop in the same town as the lunch. He still can but the traffic will be heavier on the return journey.

I don't like my children to see me cry or be upset, maybe that's what he's afraid of?

Do see your side though op.

Op are you trying to make a point with him. An eye test is not an emergency, you waited till now so a few days more would have been ok.

How many years has it been out of interest?

But you've basically hijacked his day OP. If YOU need a day off, sort it out separately. Although I do think glasses are urgent so it would have been wise to make other arrangements sooner.

Elding unless there is someone to supervise the toddler OP can't take them - you have to be completely undistracted.

Sorry, eldon

Unless glasses are broken an optician's trip is never so urgent that it has to be on a very specific day. I've worn glasses for 25 years as has DH. I can't envisage a situation where an eye test would need to be on an important anniversary. And yes, I have a boisterous 3yo I couldn't take to an eye test. But the test could wait.

everton I'm thinking of headaches and stuff

Sorry. Is long overdue. It was probably due whilst pregnat but you can't get your eyes tested than. Probably bad timing.

YANBU.

Probably bad timing. Tbh actual glasses aren't too bad. Can still see ok enough to drive with them. My sunglasses are more of a problem as they have been giving me headaches so I am having to manage with my glasses.

I have tried to get an appointment for last weekend. I have tried to make an appointment near my sisters so she could come with me but they were booked. She was meeting me anyway on a rare day off.
Maybe I did underappreciate how important this was. Although he actually asked me why I was crying on the day of my mum's funeral and he has never mentioned her anniversary before or visited grave etc.