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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to admit my life is crap?

108 replies

venturingforth · 25/06/2014 20:09

I have a crap job, which pays so crappily I can only afford to live by doing a ridiculous amount of hours, which means I have no spare time to do anything I enjoy couldn't afford to anyway

Because of my crap job I never get to see friends, meeting a partner is out of the question, any sort of social life falls flat on it's face as my shifts change constantly.

Because my crap job has crap pay I live in a crap area, I eat crap because I rarely have time to cook, I look crap because I have to wear a horrible uniform, and I feel crap because I am exhausted ALL of the time.

No one will convince me my life isn't CRAP.

AIBU ? Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
venturingforth · 25/06/2014 22:35

It isn't debt, no. But I am trying to put money aside. Also, and at the risk of sounding horribly pretentious, I've had a huge drop in salary (please, please don't anyone start asking about my budget, I have adapted accordingly) but it's quite scary, going from less than a third of what I was previously bringing home.

OP posts:
unrealhousewife · 25/06/2014 22:38

Venturing, how old are you?

Original poster
venturingforth · 25/06/2014 22:38

Charles, I wasn't being remotely patronising, I was making a general point about advice.

I didn't post for advice, if that troubles you I obviously regret it, but I'm certainly not going to leave because you have decided I don't fit in here. If that's genuinely the case, report the thread and Mumsnet can delete it - they are the only ones who will tell me where and how I should post, not you.

If I could, I would talk to you about the last month and how I'm anything but helpless, but I won't, as really it isn't anybody else's business. I've got by and coped and even smiled.

I reserve the right to be bloody miserable about it all, though!

OP posts:
Original poster
venturingforth · 25/06/2014 22:38

32! :)

OP posts:
Fideliney · 25/06/2014 22:41

but it's quite scary, going from less than a third of what I was previously bringing home.

Wow yes it would be. Very scary.

But you are underestimating people's urge to be helpful if you really think they will ALL just stand around saying "Yep. Yes, your life is really shit, YANBU" Grin

I hope it gets better for you Flowers

Helpys · 25/06/2014 22:41

What would happen if you didn't go into work tomorrow? Gave notice on your flat?
If you turned up and there was a foreclosure notice on the door? If there was a fire in the flat below and you had to pack up and leave...
What would you do?

CharlesRyder · 25/06/2014 22:45

Ok, sorry. Yes Op your life is shit. I have no idea why but is clearly is. Gutted for you.

Hogwash · 25/06/2014 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
venturingforth · 25/06/2014 22:48

Fide, I really can't go into detail due to possible legal repercussions - highly, highly unlikely but still, it would be stupid (of me) to risk it. I explained a bit to Beast via PM. It sounds much worse than it is and certainly isn't anything remotely to do with breaking the law or anything - just a complicated situation with previous employment.

I started the thread due to being tired, fed up, low, depressed ... I do know the advice would be kindly meant but truthfully even if I COULD go into detail it would probably be much the same as what has been posted, and am trying to do, if and when I can. I'm a sensible, intelligent person (mostly) and can advise myself fairly well, so to speak! I'm just in a low spot.

At any rate, if we're going down the road of telling me off because I can't or won't take the advice, I won't hang about, if no one minds, as some of you have been great, but I really don't like it when people are ordered to follow instructions and then they don't want to and it turns into a slanging match ... genuinely not being awkward, I just do not have the stomach for it at the moment.

I don't live in a flat? If I didn't turn up for work tomorrow I'd be sacked, I'd make life difficult for a lot of lovely people and I wouldn't have any money. Three good reasons not to not turn up!

OP posts:
Fideliney · 25/06/2014 22:51

Fair enough Smile

Original poster
venturingforth · 25/06/2014 22:53

And yes, it's legal as I don't have a workplace as such: my job is based out and about in the community.

OP posts:
Barefootgirl · 25/06/2014 22:53

I'm actually wondering if i know you in RL. Your situation sounds a bit familiar to me. Are you meeting up with a friend tomorrow evening?

pianodoodle · 25/06/2014 22:55

Are you serving a sentence?

GrendelsMinim · 25/06/2014 22:56

You poor old soul :(

Sounds like things are thoroughly miserable right at the moment.

I don't know if you're able to read a book while you're off duty but still physically at work, but maybe a visit to your local library would give you something to do on the cheap?

Original poster
venturingforth · 25/06/2014 22:57

No, and no. I did say it certainly wasn't anything to do with law breaking or offences - just a complex work situation.

Tomorrow evening I am working.

OP posts:
Original poster
venturingforth · 25/06/2014 22:58

Thanks :) I do love a good read!

OP posts:
JugglingFromHereToThere · 25/06/2014 22:59

Well, I hope it's helped a little venturing - whether that's any of the thoughts and suggestions, the opportunity to vent a little, or just the goodwill and good wishes to you in nearly every post Smile

pianodoodle · 25/06/2014 23:05

Ah sorry I missed that bit out!

The reading idea is good - some escapism.

I was similarly stuck in a crappy place for a year or so.

Hope it all gets back on track for you x

GuybrushThreepwoodMP · 26/06/2014 06:31

Well I hope it's helped to have a vent about it all.

Anyone giving advice was trying to help you, not make themselves feel better. I think you'd be better thinking about how to make some positive changes in your life. It's obviously up to you but feeling miserable and sorry for yourself isn't going to change anything. Trying to change something just might.

Original poster
venturingforth · 26/06/2014 06:48

I am feeling miserable for good reasons, and I'm sure I'll get over it and things will change, but at the moment, yes, I am miserable. I'm not criticising advice, I'm saying some of it isn't relevant, and being slated for that, and I don't know why.

OP posts:
Original poster
venturingforth · 26/06/2014 06:49

Also, can I draw people's attention to the title here? To "admit" my life is crap. That's actually quite hard to do.

OP posts:
BravePotato · 26/06/2014 07:17

Well, it sounds crap, so yanbu.

But it won't be forever!

KateSpade · 26/06/2014 08:19

venturing
I am in exactly the same position, my job is awful, it's ran by a dictatorship of horrible men and I don't use that word lightly! You know how hot it's been these past few days - well I am not allowed to remove my jacket and I have done - been caught & been told off!
Hardly any staff members stay longer than 2 years, we have such a high turn over - it's unreal!

I don't have much of a social life, I have weight to loose and my parents are starting to get upset by me keep saying my life is rubbish.

Their is so much I need to change - I just don't know where to start!

unrealhousewife · 26/06/2014 08:37

Join a union, or start one. People do have rights, fought hard for and enshrined in law.

Beastofburden · 26/06/2014 09:22

having had a chat with Venture offline I do think she has analysed her situation fairly and is not being unreasonable in not sorting it faster than six months.

The most useful thing might be one of those lovely life-affirming threads on the little things that can bring us happiness when life is, temporarily, crap.

I will start us off: however terrible you are at singing, find a choir of equally terrible people and join in. It is hugely theraputic, relaxing and it supplies friends who are going to be there at the same time every week without you having to organise anything. The concentration involved in singing, and the way everyone naturally breathes together, is just the kind of thing that mindfulness therapists recommend.

Nobody should think they are too bad at singing to join a choir. There are some great crap choirs out there.