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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move my ds out of his current school?

100 replies

Dontmakemecometovegas · 25/06/2014 11:10

Stick with me, I may go on a bit!

Ds is currently in reception, he's just 5 so one of the younger ones.
In his class there are 23 children, quite a few have SEN and several have behaviour problems. He has struggled to make friends, there are only a few girls and they want to play together and the boys play too rough for ds. He now has one close friend and about five other friends who are mainly girls.

Across reception there are 45 children so not enough for two classes when they go up to ks1. What the school do is is have one year one class, a mixed 1/2 class and a year 2 class with 30 in each.

Apparently this year they are looking at the children's emotional maturity and putting the emotionally mature year 1s in with the less mature year 2s.
Ds has been put in the year 1 class with his closest friend but the other children he likes (and who he is in the same reading / writing / maths groups with) have gone into the year 1/2 mix.

I am concerned that he will be held back because consequently at least half his class this september will have behaviour problems and / or SEN. Although I'm not really concerned about the SEN more that 15 or so children will have behaviour problems and be disruptive. The better behaved more able children are in the 1/2 mix. I suspect ds is probably slightly above average in ability but his behaviour is excellent. He is easily capable of sitting and listening and following instructions and is apparently very self motivated.

He has found the behaviour of a lot of his classmates this year difficult and next year it looks like it will be worse because the calmer children will have gone and there will also be children from the other class who have behaviour problems.
I'm also concerned that the gap between those in the 1/2 class and those in the year 1 class will get wider. I appreciate the less mature year 2s will be in there but they will still be further on than the less mature year 1s.

The following year ds will hopefully then go into the main year 2 class but the year after that when he is year 3 he will presumably be in the year 3 class whilst again the brighter ones go into a 3/4 mix.

I don't know what to do. There is a specific reason that ds's closest friend can't go into the year 1/2 class which I don't want to share on here and part of me wonders if they've just kept them together. They are quite reliant on each other. Otoh maybe ds isn't as able and mature as I think he is and I'm just being biased because I'm his mother. I cannot understand though why the children he is grouped with have gone into the mixed class and he hasn't.

Because this pattern will continue throughout the school and the school is poor in general (only 50% meet the end of ks2 targets, they are in the bottom for everything) I'm considering moving him. Or should I just see how it goes? I feel so torn. The class is very boy heavy too as there are only 11 girls out of 45 and 6 of them are emotionally mature so are in the 1/2 mix leaving only 5 in a class of 3. I'm not wild about this either.

OP posts:
ikeaismylocal · 25/06/2014 11:30

I would move him, 4 miles isn't very far if it is on a bus rout or if you drive.

It sound slike a challenging year group in a school which is having problems anyway, if there was another option I would choose that.

MrsWinnibago · 25/06/2014 11:31

In that case move him. Is the school a better one? Have you seen it at pick up time?

wadingthroughtreacleuphill · 25/06/2014 11:31

I'd move him in a heartbeat.

Dontmakemecometovegas · 25/06/2014 11:31

I mean one of those parents that thinks their child is great when they're not!
I don't think ds is perfect, his handwriting for a start is shocking, but he's also been hampered by having terrible eyesight which we've only just discovered (+8! in both eyes!) and now he can see his writing has already improved quite a lot.

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 25/06/2014 11:31

My DD is in year one and three new children have come in year one and they have settled very well....it's like they were always there!

MrsWinnibago · 25/06/2014 11:32

I can relate to the eyesight thing! My DD had similar...only caught towards the end of reception. She's at the end of year one now and the difference is huge!

Hogwash · 25/06/2014 11:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whatisaweekend · 25/06/2014 11:34

Good grief! Mixed year groups?? 45 children is 'not enough' for two classes?? Only 50% achieving ks2 targets? The school sounds utterly awful. How does the one 4 miles away compare? Have you put feelers out as to whether they have space?

I would def move your ds. I am sure he will adjust quickly - he sounds like a really great little kid and he will quickly make friends. My ds doesn't really gel with other boys who are into rougher play (usually the ones who have older brothers and so this is more what they are used to) so it's not unusual.

Hogwash · 25/06/2014 11:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dontmakemecometovegas · 25/06/2014 11:38

They're rubbish.
Currently in special measures.

We toyed with not sending ds there in the first place but said we would give it a year to see if it improved - mainly because ds was familiar with it and we thought for a 4 year old that was a big deal. And because I said it would have to improve. They are battling little home support and high SEN and behavioural problems. I know of a number of people who have moved their children out of other years since September.

They have had a huge turnover of staff - the teaching was absolutely slated. They were category 4 in everything. Absolutely everything. It was the worst ofsted report I'd ever read.
Reading that back I can't believe we sent him there but I was so sure it would have to turn around, I do believe it is improving but it's certainly still not great.

OP posts:
Dontmakemecometovegas · 25/06/2014 11:41

The other school performs averagely. It's a small school, one form entry but is a bigger premises as it's brand new.

Ds's school is quite cramped. They are meant to be taking on up to 60 in each year from this year but I don't think they've had that many applications. Which is just as well as they've no where to put them!

OP posts:
ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 25/06/2014 11:41

Move him - you'll never feel comfortable with it and by the time the school turns around (assuming they'll now get more support because of the special measures) he will be a couple more years in that environment.

MrsWinnibago · 25/06/2014 11:44

Will you be able to get DS into the other school?

MrsWinnibago · 25/06/2014 11:44

Also, I totally understand the "giving them a chance" thing. We almost sent DD1 to a similar school in special measures but a visit there put me off...it wasn't the special measures but the attitude of the staff and the fact that the place stank to high heaven!

Dontmakemecometovegas · 25/06/2014 11:46

They've 1 place. Rang this morning.

OP posts:
HortenMarket · 25/06/2014 11:49

Sound very much like the school my DD was in. You are not in SE London are you OP? She started in reception and, I knew there were issues but it went into unremittingly awful special measures with no positives. They also had a 45 intake and did the split class thing. We moved her. I don't think you will be happy if you stay. My DD was being overlooked (quiet and polite) although the intake of kids was nice, not many issues there. But anyway, moving her was the best thing we did. She coped with it really well.

MrsWinnibago · 25/06/2014 11:49

Oh better get in their fast!

Cric · 25/06/2014 11:50

All schools have SEN and the teachers are trained to teach a wide range of abilities within one class. Your son won't be left behind because there are children in his class with SEN theirs and his needs will be met appropriately. Many schools mix classes and again whether they are Y1 or Y2 the teaching will be matched to the needs of all pupils. You can have a straight year group with a wider range of abilities.... It varies every year! If your son is happy I would stay.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 25/06/2014 11:50

My son was in mixed age classes at primary. His best mate (to this day and they are now 20) was in the year above, but kept in the lower half of the class because of emotional maturity. Anyway, my son's friend ended up with level 5s for his SATS in year six, (and is now in university), achieving higher than lots of the others who were always placed in the top half of the class.

Don't discount new reception kids as potential mates for your DS; there is likely to be only a few months age gap with a lot of them.

MrsWinnibago · 25/06/2014 11:51

Cric the problems seem wider reaching than a high number of pupils with SEN.

Dontmakemecometovegas · 25/06/2014 11:51

I'm not horten but that is encouraging.

I have to say that ds is happy to go at the moment, particularly now he has found a group of friends. He likes his teacher too.
I feel bad uprooting him.
Otoh he may not like it in that class next year and it will be a different teacher anyway. And I want him to have a chance, he only gets one opportunity at this.

OP posts:
wonderingsoul · 25/06/2014 11:52

You took a risk.. But doesn't seem to have worked.

Move him, your never be happy and it's best to do it now.

The school mine are at had very very bad reports. Massive staff turn out and was close to closing.

They got new teachers and specially appointed head and it's turned around with in months. And is now considered good and is still improving.
I moved mine there just as theybturned it around and it's amazing now.

A good school that you feel comfortable with is so so important x

MerryMarigold · 25/06/2014 11:53

I bet there's a big fight about who is getting the 'trouble' Y1 class and who is getting the 'good as gold' Y1/Y2 class!

Dontmakemecometovegas · 25/06/2014 11:53

It's been in special measures since may last year.

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 25/06/2014 11:53

I meant a fight between the teachers!