To want to shout at this bloody child..

[Wilberforce2]

Not sure if I'm being a bit precious but this is driving me mental.

Every Tuesday my ds does rugby 4-5 and as they are only reception and year 1 all of the parents stay. I like staying and enjoy watching him but one of the little girls of another parent is doing my head in. I have a 4 month old dd and every week this little girl does not leave her alone, constantly plays with the hood on the pram (pushing it backwards and forwards), putting her fingers in the babies mouth, kissing her on the lips, takes her toys/muslin off of her, pokes her eyes it just goes on and on. Last week this girl had a heavy cold and was constantly wiping snot around her face then walked over to dd in her pram (I dared to take my eyes off of her for a second) and stuck her fingers in her mouth, Friday my dd gets an awful cold. The mum just laughs and says "oh she is so motherly" or "she just loves babies" but I want her to tell her to leave her alone for one fricking second. Today I told the girl no a few times and had a couple of looks from the mum who then said "oh *** come over here darling I don't think you are wanted" but I can't just watch her prod and poke her for an hour, she was trying to put a pine cone in her mouth then whipped her with a muslin!

Am I being precious or would you keep telling the girl no? Little girl is 2 years old. Older brother is in my ds's class so I don't want to cause an argument.

[liquidstatehasrisenagain]

I agree with Nomama. The mother needs to restrain her child a bit.

[FiveFingerDeathPunch]

just tell the mother that you do not want her child to use your baby as a toy.

[hmc]

Bless you Wilberforce -Yabu, how irritating. It's the mum at fault though. You need to tell her about the pine cone, the snot covered fingers and ask her to supervise her daughter. Don't worry that she'll be offended - doesn't sound like you are destined to be mates any time soon!

[Delphiniumsblue]

I find this thread really funny!
It is so simple, fledermaus has the answer.
The 2 year old may be a baby,but you don't let babies do whatever they wish!
I love the way we get on to 'Good God- reception children playing rugby'! MN at it's best!
(I suspect that you might regret asking this very simple question, OP)

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

I'm waiting for people to say it's the ops fault for
A) her reception age child playing rugby
B) taking a young baby to watch said activity
C) hating children
D) all of the above

[Silverdaisy]

I really don't understand how the other mum allows her child to do this.

What is with some parents ignoring their children's behaviour.

I also think that sometimes their are parents who let their children run around with crusty noses constantly - please please sort that out.

[HappyAgainOneDay]

One thing I loathe is toddlers/babies with snotty faces. Is it beyond the wit of their parents to have tissues permanently handy? My two never had snotty faces because I would have been ashamed if they had. They were blowing their own noses by the time they were 3.

[Silverdaisy]

Happy - you said it better than me. Thanks

[dietcokeandwine]

God OP this would drive me nuts. One of my pet hates, when mine were small babies, was bloody annoying 'motherly' small girls who wanted to poke and coo at them. Hated it. Every time. (Fortunately my youngest is now 17m and less poking / cooing goes on - apart from anything else, he can now poke back ).

I would hate your scenario and would feel exactly the same as you do. Even if said child is only two. You are not being precious. At all.

The mother should be managing her DD properly. I would be mortified if a toddler of mine harangued another person's baby like that. Of course it's natural for them to be interested but her mother should call her away when she's clearly being a pain. Unfortunately, as others have said, the mother is clearly relishing the break (and is by the sounds of things one of those irritating parents who Believe Their Little Darling Can Do No Wrong).

Definitely tell the child no. You can do it nicely of course but there is nothing wrong in telling her no.

[Wilberforce2]

Sharon I'm waiting for that as well!

The snot last week was horrendous there were actual snot bubbles!

I know it's so simple but after this week with me saying no to her a few times and the mum being a bit funny I just don't want to cause an atmosphere, just wish the mum would supervise her.

[starfishmummy]

Try telling the child no. Go back to Mummy NOW please

Or

Try telling the Mother to keep a better eye on the girl

Or Walk away so the Mother has to look after her child

Or

Point to the rugby ball and say something like "oooh. Look a ball . That looks fun..." and hope she goes and joins the rugby!!

[whitepuddingsupper]

YANBU, that would bug the hell out of me too and yes ultimately it's the mother's fault for not supervising but I don't think a stern "no, don't do that" from the OP would be unreasonable to this child if she is poking at the baby's face etc.

[lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout]

Please don't mock a little baby o.p hence snot bubbles comment. In doing that you are being very very unreasonable.

[TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos]

In this sort of situation, where my Mummy-Bear overcomes my cultural inhibitions, I loudly say something like "Oh, no, Baby Chaos doesn't like xyz" or "Not in Baby Chaos's mouth, please: he likes it if you stroke his hair" or similar. On hearing me say this, clearly and in my best Infant Teacher voice (pleasant but authoritative and with a polite but definite half-smile) nice mothers come over and supervise their child; other ones look snarky and will call their child over to them. Win win.

[noushinoo]

Slight over reaction OP BUT also the mother should have some sense to stop her child bothering someone else's.

Shouldn't let yourself be wound up by a two year old :)

[KatieKaye]

Suppress that urge to shout, OP - although it's perfectly understandable. You don't have to let this child "play" with your baby. Nor do you have to babysit her while her own mum is nearby.

Smile sweetly, say hello but you are very busy with baby and can she go back to mummy now?

If she doesn't move, then say in a loud but pleasant voice "where is your mummy, sweetie/pet/other term of endearment?" Through gritted teeth if necessary.

And if that doesn't work, take child by hand and say "let's go and find mummy" in a bright and enthusiastic tone of voice. When you are within ten paces, exclaim "Oh look! here's mummy!" and encourage child to run to her.

And then hightail it away as fast as possible.

Alternatively, buy a ball and encourage her to play with it by tossing it towards her DM.

[firstchoice]

Lots of 'don't do that sweetie, the baby is asleep'. LOUDLY.

When mum huffs on about 'not being wanted' wave, smile and say: 'thanks, now'.

Of course you should be able to sit and relax without worrying about your baby having fingers in its eyes, pine cones up its nose etc.

Not the 2 year olds fault but her lazy mums entirely.
So, nice but very firm with 2 year old. LOUDLY.
Maybe you even need to say: 'oops. better take you back to your mum' and lead her back and say: ' Isnt she lovely but I think she is too young to understand yet not to poke babies'.

[PrincessBabyCat]

I'd treat the toddler like it was your own, as Chaos says. If the mother has left her toddler under your supervision, then it's fair game to supervise and tell her to cut it out. :)

I have a friend who is very good at what Chaos is suggesting and tell toddlers "no no sweetie" when left unsupervised in the store, but then she tops it off by complimenting how cute the kid is when the moms take them away.

[PrincessBabyCat]

On a personal note, I'd bring sugar and chocolate covered coffee beans feed them to the little beastie. If I'm getting a headache from her child, so is she.

[Nomama]

Ooh, Princess, you utter bitch

[Aeroflotgirl]

Yanbu at all, I would have said a firm no ages ago, mum should be keeping an eye on what her child us doing instead of gossiping. Nit everyone wants your little darling poking and germifying their baby!

[ladymariner]

YANBU, op, I'd hate this too. There seems to be a lot of people on this thread who wouldn't mind their baby being poked and prodded and covered in someone else's snot....what a pity they don't come to the rugby, maybe then your baby would be left alone and you could get some peace.

Do agree it's not really the little girls fault though, it's definitely the mother you have the issue with. Be firm but nice to the child, do not let her near your baby and if the mother does the crappy comments either ignore or smile at her, do not give in!

[Dubjackeen]

Do agree it's not really the little girls fault though, it's definitely the mother you have the issue with. Be firm but nice to the child, do not let her near your baby and if the mother does the crappy comments either ignore or smile at her, do not give in!*

^^this. Just use lots of ' oh no sweetie,must not...' (in loud voice)and usher away.
Not the little child's fault. I hate that crap of ' we are not wanted'.
Too right, missus.

[mathanxiety]

YANBU and what sport your DS plays is neither here nor there either.

There is a difference between being non-confrontational and letting someone walk all over you however, and this is a situation you have your own diffidence to thank for, in part.

Grow a backbone and say in a lighthearted away - while taking hold of the 2 yo and directing her away from the baby 'No no no -- don't touch please!' when she starts grabbing baby/buggy/toys, etc.

Then walk the little girl back to her mother.
Tell the mother you are sorry, but you cannot be responsible for supervising her darling child on the sidelines. Smile sweetly. Say you are sure she understands. Walk away.

You have to choose whether you are going to put up with this or put out someone else's (brass) nose. If you don't want this child poking your baby any more and making a nuisance of herself (which 2 yos are perfectly capable of doing unless taught to behave by the people they are annoying) then you have to take a deep breath and put a stop to it.

Forget 'not wanted' and feeling bad about it. Do you want this happening or not?

You don't want this child there. 'You're not wanted' is a fair comment. Shrug about it. You don't have to want the child.

[mathanxiety]

And if she comes back, then repeat.