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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to duct tape mu OH ' phone to his head?

27 replies

Objection · 24/06/2014 19:23

As he never has it on him.
This drives me potty! I ALWAYS have my phone on me (normally on vibrate so not to be that woman) and can always be contacted in an emergency etc.
OH never does, no one can get through to him and he's always losing it. He uses it as an alarm in the morning but inevitably gets me to change my alarm as he can't find his phone or its out of battery.

I've been working in London for 3 weeks and find myself able to come home a day earlier than planned. But although my train is booked - I can't get hold of him to let him know so he can pick me up

WIBU to find a harsh and permenant way of securing him to his phone?

OP posts:
Nomama · 24/06/2014 19:42

Erm.... just get on the train and make your own way all the way home!

He'll find out you've got back early soon enough!

I have a phone but it doesn't get a signal at work or home.... until I change provider DH (works away) has to rely on the - wait for it - home land line!!

DoJo · 24/06/2014 20:13

I presume the idea of making her own way home is what's annoying the OP - otherwise she wouldn't have even bothered calling!

Nomama · 24/06/2014 20:16

She has a train booked... I assumed she wants a lift from the other end!

Either way... just go home!

Icimoi · 24/06/2014 20:27

This sort of thing brings out my inner old crone. How would someone like OP have coped not so long ago when very few people had mobiles and there was no expectation that you could communicate with anyone, anywhere at any time?

Nomama · 24/06/2014 20:32

I think that probably explains my posts too, Icmoi!

Bah, and indeed, humbug!

DoJo · 24/06/2014 23:43

But he has got a mobile and his failure to use it effectively means that the OP will have to potentially walk/bus/taxi it at the other end, probably to be greeted with 'You should have called - I'd have come and picked you up' from her husband! The OP would probably have banged her smalls on a rock in the days before washing machines too, but it doesn't mean she should be glad to do it today just because some people coped without them in the past! Grin

HayDayQueen · 24/06/2014 23:45

Oh DoJo - I'm going to remember that one next time someone pipes up with 'we survived without phones when we were younger'!

Icimoi · 25/06/2014 12:27

The thing is, though, that having a mobile and choosing to switch it on are both entirely voluntary. You can't go through life with an expectation that everyone will be instantly available should you decide you want to contact them, and if we ever reach a point where that is the case, it will be an absolute tyranny.

Nomama · 25/06/2014 12:30

As it is the tyranny is visible, and getting closer daily.

We had a leaver's do for staff who had found the escape hatch. Tables in the sun, teapots, lots of homebaked cakes...

... of the 14 staff present 8 or 9 had their phones in their hands and were persistently doing the swipey thing, tapping, talking, wandering off to chat, more tapping and swipey swipey.

It was so fucking rude!

SlothNinja · 25/06/2014 13:07

YANBU. My OH is the same. If he has it on him, the battery is dead. He's gone months before without even having a phone due to the odd occasion when he did have it on him, he ended up losing it.

Original poster
Objection · 25/06/2014 13:23

Wow. Thanks for all that.
I should have mentioned the situation last year when I got hot by a car and taken to hospital in an ambulance and he couldn't be contacted but I thought that was too extreme.

Of course I'm capable of getting myself home from the train station, but seeing as the train arrived at midnight and it's a 25 min taxi drive, it was better to get a lift.

OP posts:
Original poster
Objection · 25/06/2014 13:26

I presume the idea of making her own way home is what's annoying the OP - otherwise she wouldn't have even bothered calling!

So you're presuming that the only time I want to speak to my OH is go use him for something? That's a pretty huge presumption to make on someone else and their relationship from a short paragraph online?

OP posts:
Nomama · 25/06/2014 13:53

Well, you know it's your own fault, Objection. Fancy organising a Midnight Train to Georgia I imagine he got wise to you and thought sod that for a game of soldiers, I'm not driving to the station at midnight! And left his phone in a box... and buried it!

FraidyCat · 25/06/2014 13:59

No-one is obliged to have a mobile. Or if they have one, to have it turned on. A phone should be for the owners convenience, not the convenience of those who want to call them.

HayDayQueen · 25/06/2014 14:49

FraidyCat - it works both ways though. If you don't want to have your phone for your partner's convenience, don't expect them to have a phone for your convenience.

Objection - I'd be tempted to be REALLY teach him a lesson, and block all calls and texts from him from the moment he leaves the house until he walks back in at the end of the day. You can block and unblock repeatedly on a lot of phones, and if not, download an app which will let you. That way you can be available for everyone else who is considerate enough to answer their phones.

Sod him! If he wants to be completely unreliable and uncontactable, he can deal with the consequences.

diddl · 25/06/2014 14:54

His mobile is the only way of contacting him then?

LineRunner · 25/06/2014 14:58

Send him a telegram.

DoJo · 25/06/2014 16:01

I presume the idea of making her own way home is what's annoying the OP - otherwise she wouldn't have even bothered calling!

So you're presuming that the only time I want to speak to my OH is go use him for something? That's a pretty huge presumption to make on someone else and their relationship from a short paragraph online?

Erm, no - I was pointing out that as you had mentioned in your OP you were hoping he would be able to pick you up, then on THIS occasion, the reason you were calling was probably at least partly because you were hoping not to have to make your own way home as suggested by NoMama, and as you yourself have confirmed in subsequent posts.

TBH, if this is how you respond to people who are trying to defend your position, I am starting to sympathise with your husband...Grin

BoneyBackJefferson · 25/06/2014 17:05

You don't ay what your OH does, So I/we don't know if there is a reason that it can't be on all the time.

Original poster
Objection · 25/06/2014 19:16

NoMama got wise to what? I booked the train to get home to see him one day earlier because he said he missed me. The midnight train actually was to arrive at 10 but was delayed because someone was electrocuted on the track.
Why is it so unreasonable to you that I would have preferred my boyfriend to pick me up from the station rather than pay a taxi?

OP posts:
Nomama · 25/06/2014 19:27

Humour translation fail, Objection!

Telepathically got wise to your dastardly plan to get home early, necessitating him getting out of bed/staying awake over the witching hour!

And I was referring more to your pissed offness that he wasn't attached to his phone 24/7, in this case to enable you to get home more easily (for you).

Again you seem to be snapping at someone who was, in part, agreeing with you, or at least not having a pop at you!

DoJo · 26/06/2014 00:42

OP - we were being lighthearted, honest. Not accusing you of anything, or assuming anything, just responding in kind to the exasperated tone of your first post. Sorry if you felt got at - it was certainly not my intention.

HavanaSlife · 26/06/2014 00:49

Your post does sound light hearted.

It obviously isn't though and I can understa why you find it annoying

I actually took dps phones tonight and threatened to put them in thetoilet, he's on a/like and work have not stopped ringing all day long. Yes iwbu but I'm blooy sick ofit!

SquigglySquid · 26/06/2014 04:05

DH forgets his phone too. I just have his boss's number in case of an emergency when he goes to work.

I have been left high and dry at the bus stop before which was frustrating. He said he'd pick me up, but I had to call him to let him know I was almost there. I did and he never got the call so I was stuck waiting for 45 minutes because "he was on the way" when he finally did answer. (and I didn't grab the next bus because he answered before the next one came) Angry

PetyrBaelishsConscience · 26/06/2014 04:16

A ringing telephone is an invitation, not a command. No one is obliged to be contactable every minute of every day.