To use a walking stick despite XHs opinion?

[Brittapieandchips]

I have some kind of pelvis issue - started as SPD when I was pregnant with 4yo DD2 and still comes back - I have low levels of pain every day, but at certain points (particularly around my period) it gets really bad. The last physio I had was shocked that I manage to dance as a hobby (only when it's not bad - it hurts but it's manageable and worth it) and was annoyed on my behalf that it has gone on so long with a gap of years between the immediately post natal physio and the help I've had this year. She could feel all the jams and uneven bits and so on, did some stuff that relieved it but it keeps just doing it again in different areas - the pain could come anywhere in my pelvis, back or even knees.

One of the reasons I didn't push for help was that XH kept telling me that I was making a fuss over nothing and that everybody over 25 is constantly in pain. I pretty much limped all the time for the first two years but still worked for a while doing heavy lifting, did most of the child care etc. I have a disability bus pass for an unrelated issue and he mocked me and called me lazy for using it.

Sometimes I would be walking along holding on to fence posts for support - I could tell you now the route with the best sturdy walls and fences from the bus shop to my house at the time. I could feel my pelvis grinding.

I mentioned when dd was 3 that I was hardly limping any more, and he said 'oh, was that real? I thought you were just making a fuss!'

It doesn't look like it is going away any time soon, and I've just had a particularly bad flare up. So I finally got a walking stick and it really helped. It's caused me a lot of emotional turmoil - feels like I'm giving up at 29 to being an old lady - but it has also been brilliant to be able to manage better. I've also finally got some decent painkillers.

Anyway, XH has managed to upset me with one word. I went round to drop some stuff off for the kids and he looked me up and down, looked at the stick and said '...seriously?' in a mocking tone, as if I was doing something really stupid and weird.

Just topped it off. I'm in pain, I'm facing up to it never getting better and worried people will be weird about the stick and he's still getting to me.

Really angry, and sad, and humiliated.

And sometimes he goes looking for me online, so if he is reading this... You got what you wanted, you upset me again. Well done.

And, sorry, thank you for taking time to reply to me, you might have made a huge difference to my life!

Britta I know you're not seeing a physio for 3 months but can you talk to your GP about the stick? I cannot begin to stress how unwise it is to use a mobility aid without being assessed by a medical professional first. You could do more harm than good, despite an immediate reaction that may be of relief.

As for the ex, there are no words 'cause everyone else has said it. Karma will get him!

I'll ask the GP when I see them later :-)

Good luck! :)

Sorry. Coming late to this, so I am going to do my pet hate.
I am replying to the op only. So if we have moved on I apologise. Lol

Apart from the dickhead DH I am identicle to you.
A little older is all. But I know The pain that you are describing completely. The grinding and the crunching. The whole physicalness of the physiotherapy. DD is three years old now and I am just getting my pain relief sorted.
But I also have a very pretty purple sparkly walking stick. Which to me in my head tells people that look it really does hurt and this is what I have to do to deal with it.

You are not alone

And yes he's a dickhead.

Reading along here and nodding and giggling. Nice that everybody agrees about the sticks. Shiny ones and pointy ones.

Ok last post for now honest.
It has been suggested that part of my problem could be down to hypermobility in my pelvis and lower body. I can't bend or twist or touch my toes or anything like that but my hips and joints are easily dislocated. I dislocated my hip last Christmas by bending down to tie my shoelaces.

I'll read the whole thread later but in short - ohhhhh the empathy my love

Gas lighting + physical illness = hell which only gets worse

This may be old news but you have done an amazing thing getting him away from you. I became permanently disabled from ignoring my body as my scary decline didn't fit into stbxh's world. So much of what you say is like reading a diary (if I'd written one!). Mine started with SPD and then got worse.

Sooo, in short, fuck him the wanker. Using stick or something more pointy and agonizing.

Secondly, you need it investigating, not fobbing off as something you have to bear. There are things that can be done. Have you seen an orthopedic surgeon? Then

Thirdly, get a pretty stick, it will help you feel a bit more confident. I have a rabbit head stick, and although I hate using it, when I do it fits with me a bit better.

So, I was on a waiting list to go on a waiting list, it turns out. Through over hearing conversations and from talking to people who work locally, it would seem that the reason I got discharged and referred back to physio was that the service went out to tender so loads of patients got re allocated like me. We are all waiting on lists (I had to choose what venue I wanted to go on that list) and when it becomes clear who is doing what they will start sending out appointments to the people waiting for each centre. Virgin have got the overall contract, apparently because the NHs people filled out the form wrong. Sigh. So let's see how well that goes.

On the plus side, I had blood tests today that should shed some light on what is going on at least, and I have my meds review tomorrow with psych. My GP gave me some more diazepam to help with the gynaecology and dentist appointments I have coming up, too.

Now I've finished my period, the pain is easing off in my pelvis (still got a bit in other joints but that is fading too) and I've not needed the stick today

My mum (55) ignored the pain in her hip for years and years. She spoke to doctors but they would just "oh it's a sore muscle" or some nonsense. Her limping is getting worse, she's almost in constant pain. She finally convinced them (a couple of years ago) to have an x-ray done.

Turns out she has osteoarthrisis and her hip joint on one side is "completely obliterated" (doctors report). She also has scoliosis which hasn't helped, and disc degeneration. She thought it was better to "soldier on" but if she was properly medicated she may have been able to slow the progression.

She's getting a hip replacement this year. Won't solve all her problems but maybe she'll be able to sleep now without waking to rotate and ease the pain.

In short. You do what you have to do. Get tested till they find out what's wrong. Take pain pills if you need to. Don't be too proud to use the walking stick if you need to.

Your ex is a prick. I'd take no notice of him. Or reply with "Oh finally got that medical degree? No? Then you don't know shit so it might be best if you stop advertising how stupid you are."

i could have written your post OP. my ex was and continues to be very scathing and sceptical that i can possibly be in any pain. He bases this on the fact that 2.5 YEARS ago i went to a concert and stood up for few hours. firstly, that day was screaming agony for me, i tolerated a very long drive, the concert and a long drive home (as a passenger) only by taking a huge amount of painkillers. secondly, i spent the concert leaning on the barrier for the most point. thirdly, i did it because it was a life long dream to see this band live. and fourthly it was 2.5 years ago, i couldn't do it now i dont think.
but i digress, my point is, your ex (and mine) are arseholes. you do what you need to do to get you through the day.

Your period and hairyness sound like PCOS and maybe endometriosis.
DIficulty swallowing, circulation problems and rashes are all auto immune symptons.
I had horrendous morning sickness , throwing up my stomach lining type.
I had terrible problems with my pelvis/hip. I had PCOS , endo and now Lupus.

If I were you I would ask for a gynae referal as well.

Good luck!

Nobody, adrenaline is also your friend in those circumstances. I know only too well how it is.

Current referrals/treatments/whatever are:

Community mental health team (complex care I think is the name of them) - meds review today. On lamotrigine as nothing else has worked as well.

Physio - on a waiting list for a waiting list, discharged after two appointments with latest physio because of reorganisation of service

Gynaecology - had ultrasound, which found a fibroid. Tried the pill but just bled all the time, not allowed combined pull as it clashes with lamotrigine. Appointment next week with gynaecology and week after with family planning although will probably cancel that as gynaecology will hopefully sort stuff.

Teeth - need at least two extractions and some fillings. Dental sedation clinic in two weeks.

GP sent me for blood tests, here's the form:

It's exhausting just doing all the appointments!