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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people don't believe me about my weight loss?

92 replies

Filimou · 22/06/2014 07:35

I have always been a bit of a chunky monkey but then, pregnancy and comfort eating with pnd tipped me over the edge. I was fat. I still am just not as fat.
I weighed myself last year and almost fainted. I knew I wasnt happy with my size/the way I looked but that was the kick in the ass I needed.
DS was beginning to eat 'proper' food and I wanted to be a good example for him.
It didnt happen overnight, but I changed the way I looked at food iyswim. I realised I dont need biscuits to make me feel better and I dont need fizzy drinks with my dinner (two of many crap examples). I have found I have more energy and so I cycle and do a couch to 5k.
Anyway, fast forward to now...I have lost 4 and a half stone (2 and a half to go...) and everyone wants to know how I did it. Silly thing is (and I know Im being silly), when I explain, no-one seems to believe me. Everyone thinks it must be ww or slimming world or juice plus or something.
If I do get them to believe me they seem disappointed. AIBU to just wish that ONE PERSON could see this was a big thing and say congrats or well done, rather than just seem disappointed.

OP posts:

Frogisatwat · 22/06/2014 07:40

Congratulations and well done.

Is it because your way involves 'effort'
there is no secret to weight loss. Eat less move more. Which you have done.
Perhaps they don't want to accept there is no quick fix and this disappoints them.

TooTiredToBeCreative · 22/06/2014 07:40

People are always looking for a quick fix! Well done on you weight loss, I have done the same- C25k & healthy eating and have lost 2 stone. I would like to lose another 1/2 stone & the quick fix options are so tempting!

Luggagecarousel · 22/06/2014 07:42

Congratulations!!!!

People are disappointed with your explanation because they were hoping you had suggestions they could benefit from, but they don't think they have the strength of mind and will power that you have demonstrated, so that explanation doesn't help much!

Original poster

Filimou · 22/06/2014 07:48

Thanks for your responses and congrats

I just guess I felt a bit disappointed, though Im not sure why I care so much, after all, Im doing this for me, not anyone else.
It just seems a bit rude to ask and then dismiss the answer.

OP posts:

Original poster

Filimou · 22/06/2014 07:49

And well done tootired.

OP posts:

youmakemydreams · 22/06/2014 07:51

Congratulations. I need your motivation to do exactly what you have done.
I think people don't want to believe it because they don't want to admit that they are at fault for their weight gain. That actually they do eat too much crap and don't get enough exercise.
I was one of them. I used to walk 6 miles a day and could eat anything I wanted and was slim. My friend used to ask how I could eat crisps and not gain weight. She was always starting and failing on each new faddy diet but drives her dc to school and she can see the school from her front door. Rather then admit she could do something she preferred to believe I had some wonder metabolism rather than the fact I was just way more active than her.
I am no longer walking that 6 miles but still eating crap. It's totally my fault and need to sort my diet out and that means less crap and more.moving.

curiousuze · 22/06/2014 07:52

Congrats OP you must be feeling so much more energetic than you did before! Sounds like you've made a real change to your life. Weight loss works like that for me too - slowly slowly, and consists of eating less and moving more. I've been asked in the past about how I've lost weight and the person was disgruntled when I said 'salad and the gym. FOREVER'

All those diets you mention I find too complicated. They force you to think far too much about food so you become obsessed! 'Is this a carb? How many points in a Freddo? Is this a fasting day?' Drives you insane.

SuperDuperJezebel · 22/06/2014 07:55

I'd think bloody good on you - I've lost mine doing WW because I needed to have back up, I'm super impressed with anyone who can do it on their own!

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 22/06/2014 07:55

Well done OP. It's a bloody massive thing, and you should be very proud of yourself.

But yes, people wantw a quick fix and the reality that you have to look at your relationship with food and go from there is not a happy one for lots of people.

Batmansbuttocks · 22/06/2014 07:57

Haha yes that's people! I've lost just under 6 stone since January. After my last 2 babies close together, lots of comfort eating, bad habits and no exercise I piled it on.

I'm now training for a marathon and looking pretty fine (even if I do say so myself) in a size 10/12 when I was a size 20.

I love watching people's eyes glaze over when they ask "how did you do it?" And I reply " I ate much less and did lots of exercise".

What you should try, and I have lots of times is say "I take these special pills twice a day - I have eaten EXACTLY the same and done NO exercise just taken the pills". You see their eyes getting wider and wider in astonishment thinking they have found the holy grail... Very funny.

Everyone wants to lose the weight without the pain and you can't, you really can't.

Well done OP!

BalloonSlayer · 22/06/2014 07:59

CONGRATULATIONS filimou and bloody well done.

People don't believe you because "cutting the crap out of your diet, cycling and running" is not what THEY want to do to lose weight. It sounds hard.

They want you to say you lost 4½ stone by taking a special pill daily, which had to be taken within 30 minutes of eating a Big Mac and required you to have a long lie down afterwards. Now that's MY sort of diet.

BalloonSlayer · 22/06/2014 08:00

x post with Batmansbuttocks

and for having to type that

TalkingOwl · 22/06/2014 08:02

Good on you! Sounds like you've made some good lifestyle changes! People will begin to see this when you keep the weight off for good.

lowcarbforthewin · 22/06/2014 08:07

Congratulations on your weight loss op. It's a huge achievement.

I do think 'eat less, move more' is a load of crap though. 'Tackle emotional eating' is the biggest thing, in my book. Exercise has been proven to have little impact in weight loss (other than lifting weights), it can make you hungrier so you end up eating more overall and personally I have lost many stones whilst being almost totally unable to exercise for many years. And eat less? Well yes, if you were stuffing yourself with junk. If you are eating healthily you don't necessarily have to restrict yourself at all, and in fact it can positively stupid to do so because you are at higher risk of putting all the weight back on (lots of studies proving that too).

For me the biggest part of losing many stones has been the 'tackle emotional eating'. It has been really really tough, but I am hopefully on top of it now.

HoneyDragon · 22/06/2014 08:14

I really upset people when they ask how I lost weight when I tell them I stopped drinking and went tee total

TheOtherSideOfSilence · 22/06/2014 08:27

I lost 3 stone by cutting down on booze (and the greasy, hangover curing food that went with it) and walking everywhere possible. Took a year or so but it has stayed off. No one believed that I hadn't been on a special diet or spent ages at the gym. I agree that people are looking for a quick fix, but I think a strategy of small changes and a bit of patience is more effective, and a lot less painful!

McFox · 22/06/2014 08:33

That's brilliant, congratulations!

I keep getting the same confused comments from people - I gave birth 12 days ago and am slimmer now than I was before I got pregnant, and people can't get their heads around it at all. I had gestational diabetes so was eating very healthily during my pregnancy, but people don't seem to be able to accept that!!

Like others have pointed out, people want a quick fix and any 'diet' where effort is required isn't what they want to hear. Tough luck though, that's what it takes!

addictedtosugar · 22/06/2014 08:36

Congrats to all of you who are loosing weight slowly but surely.

In my mind (and I'm now a stone lighter, but its taken a full year - its a very very slow process for me) the fact that it isn't a fast cure means it is a permanent lifestyle change, which will then be sustainable. If you drink jucie for 3 months, and then go back to what you were eating before, you will go back to the size you were before.

LowCarb I'd say by tackling your emotional eating, you have eaten less. I'd take the "eat less" part being stop the late night snacking, or the comfort eating, or switch the mars bar for a piece of fruit: so eat less calories overall, rather than just smaller portions, iyswim?

Sidthesausage · 22/06/2014 08:40

I've had three friends lose weight through taking up running and eating sensibly but i suspect most people feel that's too much like hard work. The running bit.

MrsMook · 22/06/2014 09:26

Well done!

I've used the same methods to lose my baby weight twice. It's the best long term way, because it's sustainable.

Any thread on here concerning weight gets a lot of resistance with lots of reasons why it can't be done. There are a multitude of reasons which make it much harder, but that's not a reason to give up living healthier without trying. Even if weight loss results are negligible, it's still healthier to eat sensible portions of good food, and do what exercise you can.

Reducing comfort eating is eating less!

Runesigil · 22/06/2014 09:39

Oh wow, well done Fili !!!

that's a great achievement, I agree, people don't want to hear about self-discipline, just a magic effortless solution.

cece · 22/06/2014 09:42

I have done exactly the same as you. I have lost 3 stone. You are right people ask what diet I have been on and don't believe me when I say I have just started eating more healthily and not snacking.

Just smile ad secretly feel smug as you are more likely to keep it off as you have actually changed your lifestyle. I hate diets - they never worked for me.

BuzzardBird · 22/06/2014 09:43

Wow, well done Op! Yes, its the willpower thing, they -andme- are jealous that you are that strong willed and patient. Most of my strong will can only be achieved by starving to get fast results.

BuzzardBird · 22/06/2014 09:43

Strike out fail

ivykaty44 · 22/06/2014 09:47

Why is it so important to you what others think?

Surely you are delighted with the fab weight lose and how good you look..?

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