To wonder why people don't believe me about my weight loss?

[Filimou]

I have always been a bit of a chunky monkey but then, pregnancy and comfort eating with pnd tipped me over the edge. I was fat. I still am just not as fat.
I weighed myself last year and almost fainted. I knew I wasnt happy with my size/the way I looked but that was the kick in the ass I needed.
DS was beginning to eat 'proper' food and I wanted to be a good example for him.
It didnt happen overnight, but I changed the way I looked at food iyswim. I realised I dont need biscuits to make me feel better and I dont need fizzy drinks with my dinner (two of many crap examples). I have found I have more energy and so I cycle and do a couch to 5k.
Anyway, fast forward to now...I have lost 4 and a half stone (2 and a half to go...) and everyone wants to know how I did it. Silly thing is (and I know Im being silly), when I explain, no-one seems to believe me. Everyone thinks it must be ww or slimming world or juice plus or something.
If I do get them to believe me they seem disappointed. AIBU to just wish that ONE PERSON could see this was a big thing and say congrats or well done, rather than just seem disappointed.

And vseth. Stay positive and good luck! I know it sounds cliched but really if I can get this far (a just over 18 and a half stone biscuit fiend) then I really believe anyone can if they want to.

At the end of the day it is a mathmatical thing.

A diet doesnt "work" because it would need to be a permanent diet, ie eating those amount of fewer calories, week in and week out.

Congrats on your success! 4 and a half stone is incredible!
I had almost exactly the same scenario. My sister in law was on weight watchers about 6 months ago and suggested I join. Since I was unhappy after my divorce I had piled on the weight so decided to do some research on it before jumping in. I found just as many, if not more failure stories than success stories. After much more reading I realised that just denying yourself food and counting calories will not have any long-term success. So, I bought an ebook after reading a review here and set to work on changing my lifestyle, rather than "dieting".
I started a cardio regime and bought a cycle to start creating a calorie deficit and the weight literally dropped off me. My diet didn't really change that much but a few weeks ago I saw my sister in law again and she did not believe how I lost so much weight, (almost 3 stone) and neither it seems does anyone else.
My advice would be, stuff 'em. Who cares whether they believe you or not? As long as you are happy that is all that matters.
Well done and keep it going!

OP, that's amazing. I bet you're so chuffed. How long did it take to see results?

mrsmorton....about 8-10 weeks you could definitely see a difference...thats when I dropped my first dress size. My work trousers were hanging off!

oh and there's the other possiblity, you might well be "the fat one" in friendship/family groups. You are the one 'without the will power', who 'doesn't take care of herself'. You are the one they are doing better than. "I've gained a few pounds, but am thinner than Fili". If they are used to thinking about you in those terms, they aren't going to expect to hear that's how you lost your weight, they are going to want it to be some sort of 'quick fix' that "won't last" or "stupid Fili has damaged her health living off those shakes/pills/having a band fitted"

they are going to want you to fail. They are going to want it to be something that's not sustainable. Just eating a bit more healthily and moving more won't fit with their 'image' of you.

This could well be far from the mark, but might be part of some people's disbelief, its not how you've done it, just that you've done it that way, these are the sort of people who'll try to feed you cake now.

Well done you. I've just done similar. I just eat less. Took me 38 years to figure it out!

Well done op you should be proud of yourself.
Well done to all of the sensible losers here.

I'm struggling at the moment - I'm within what is deemed healthy weight and BMI but I want to lose some wobbly fat then tone up. I want to lose between 10 and 14 lbs.
My body isn't working though (currently have a bit of a hormone problem). Last time I stuck to a minimum of 5x weekly exercising (Hiit, KB's, shredding, walking) and healthy diet/portion control and my weight went up :( I started toning but still clung to the fat so it was just sitting on top of my awakening muscles making me look and feel bigger :(
It made me really down but I'm now just about ready to crack on again but with the main focus on dropping the fat first.

Well done!

I have only skimmed a bit of the thread so far but agree with what people are saying about it being because your way is not the way they want to do it - it's not a quick fix. People can get defensive IME.

I am only starting my weightloss journey (well, technically I haven't even lost any weight, but I've lost two nearly three dress sizes so it's certainly working in some way!) but I don't talk to anyone about it yet. Partly because I don't think people would take it seriously yet (since I am still much bigger than I should be) and partly because the way I'm eating flies a little in the face of most popular dieting advice and I really can't be arsed to defend it. Maybe when I'm at my ideal weight (probably be more than a year away as I'm taking it really slow and steady) maybe I will.

lowcarbforthewin
Exercise has been proven to have little impact in weight loss (other than lifting weights)

This claim - which lots of people make - bothers me. However many (or however few) calories are burnt off through exercise, I think it can have a very positive psychological impact on reaching/maintaining good health/a healthy weight. I think if you aim to improve health habits, including regular exercise, rather than aiming to e.g. lose x amout of weight within y period of time through dieting, then that creates a more meaningful, sustainable goal. Exercise improves your health, wellbeing, mental state and in my experience, also helps people look at life issues in a more balanced way. So I think its benefits extend much further than burning calories, building muscle, increasing metabolism etc.

Well done OP. I think your approach sounds great and has obviously worked really well for you.

Yanbu and congratulations. However I am overweight and constantly looking for a fix. I have tried every diet only to fail due to my bad habits. Yes I know its my fault but I find it so hard. As of this week I am trying the 'eat less and Move more' tactic and feel positive. I haven't cut anything out although think I should cut the crap as it sets me off in wanting I eat more .

Would any of you have lost weight with the sensible 'eat less move more' tactic mind giving me examples of what they eat on a normal day. I would just be interested to compare to what I consider to be OK as I think I am off target in the way I think about this.

I meant 'to eat more'.

Of course exercise helps with weight loss, if it creates a calorie deficit. That's one big reason why people used to be thinner - we were more active.
Not only that but exercising is thought to help to lose dangerous visceral fat at a faster rate than subcutaneous fat, which is why current advice is to exercise for a minimum of 3 hours a week.

Really encouraging to hear :) Congratulations!

I'm 16 12, much heavier than I was when pregnant, and the sheer enormity of how long it will take to lose the weight is over whelming. I've had 3 days wihtout binging though, and a midmorning/mid afternoon snack, one of which has been a biscuit/something treaty, the rest sensible food. I feel good on it, but its only 3 days! I'm overwhelmed by how MUCH there is to lose.

I think eat less move more is great - but doesn't actually tell me HOW, as an emotional eater who has long term eaten too much, to lose weight. people disagree on mn what is good/bad. I kind of need a new list of rules - ie eat at set times/eat x/don't eat x - like do you just never eat crisps again, or have them once a week etc? I need the specifics, not that you/anyone could answer all that in a 5minute in passing conversation.

I guess I am at a point where i really really am interested in losing the weight and addressing my issues and genuinely not entirely sure as to the "how". Habits are very ingrained and its hard to know what is "normal healthy eating"!

Been thinking about Lowcarbs comments.
Possibly better to say "eat better, move more"

Beatrice: I switched the morning snack to fruit, rather than the cake / biscuit I was having. I don't do afternoon, but was eating after the kids had gone to bed. Mainly that has been cut now I'm drinking more water, and exercising more. looks at bowl with remains of ben and jerrys in

YANBU 4st is an astonishing amount of weight to lose, well done! You must be feeling very proud of yourself

I lost nearly 3st (still a couple lbs to go) by doing pretty much the same thing as you. I cut out everything but a good breakfast, a healthy lunch and a healthy dinner. I shrunk my portion sizes and only drank fizzy water.

It made a huge difference and took a lot of will power. I found the last 1/2st really tough so took it down to 1000 cals a day & no carbs after 3pm and again the weight started to drop steadily. No one believes me either but I don't care.

Some people believe you can only lose weight by following a programme, you actually only need to be disciplined and strict with yourself.

Again, well done, I know how hard it is.

This is what I now generally eat:

Breakfast: muesli or cereal, small glass of fruit juice
Lunch: usually a sandwich on wholemeal bread, yoghurt
Dinner: often pasta or risotto or maybe some meat with veg, fruit for dessert (and a couple of squares of dark chocolate most nights)

Not sure how many calories that lot contains but my weight has been steady (except for during pregnancy) so it seems to be an ok amount.

I'm having more snacks these days as I am breastfeeding so I need biscuits! But I tried to cut out snacks when I was trying to lose weight. We also have a strict rule in this house of pizza only once a month because otherwise I would be having it all the time. I love pizza!

I walk for about an hour a day but don't do any 'official' exercise.

I found re-educating myself about portion size helped. I used to cook myself two big handfuls of pasta, cut this down to one and a bit handfuls and upped the amount of vegetables I put in the sauce. I also found moving mealtimes around a bit helped - I used to not have dinner until 8.30, which meant I would be scoffing crisps and dips etc when I got in from work to tide me over until dinner. I now have dinner earlier so I don't snack beforehand. Cutting down the booze also helped massively.

I decided at the New Year that I wanted to get fit. Not necessarily lose weight, but get fit, and feel better. I work on my feet and made excuses that that was enough. I made excuses that people who watched what they ate weren't enjoying food, and therefore, life.

Once I started swimming and taking an exercise class, it began to influence my eating. I'd look at a can of Coke and think, 'why did I bother swimming 1k to drink pure sugar and calories?' so I'd have water, and if I still wanted a Coke, then I'd have one. Haven't had a Coke in months. No one 'needs' chocolate, biscuits, crisps and sweets. Don't have them in the house.

I LOVE food, but I don't see it as a treat or a reward. Check BBC Good Food or Cook Yourself Thin for good, healthy recipes, really helped me. Cook from scratch, don't be conned by 'low-fat' processed food. Halve the carbs on your plate. I'm not interested in no-carb/zero-sugar, personally. I'm sure if I followed them, my weight-loss would be more extreme, but I'm really happy in my skin.

For the PP who asked about daily intake, on a 'good' day I might have smoked salmon with half-fat creme fraiche on sourdough (one slice, not a sandwich) with black coffee for breakfast, a noodle salad or Mediterranean veg brought from home for lunch, then maybe a small wholewheat pasta meal for dinner (70-100g pasta) Water only, no juice or soft drinks. I know a lot of stricter dieters would shake their heads at that, but it works for me. I cycle to work, try and swim 2-3k a week and do two exercise classes. I don't know what I weigh, don't know how much I've lost, but I have a lot of people ask me about how I lost the weight, and "I ate less and exercised more" always makes people do a double take...

Thanks to those who have shared what they eat. That's what I was aiming for but it was useful to know I am thinking along the right lines and also about portions.

Well done OP - you have done really well. I lost five stone some years ago but sadly need to do so again now...... When I lost it, it was with WW but when people used to ask me the secret of my success i used to say that I had discovered the secret to weight loss - Eat Less! I still think that's it really! That and exercise a bit more i guess.

Grats!

People have a hard time wrapping their heads around the concept that they will lose the pounds as slowly as they gained them. There's no magic fix, and diets aren't the solution. If you want to be a healthy weight there needs to be an entire lifestyle change. Not some fad diet where you starve yourself and then resume old eating habits once you achieve a goal weight.

This claim - which lots of people make - bothers me. However many (or however few) calories are burnt off through exercise, I think it can have a very positive psychological impact on reaching/maintaining good health/a healthy weight. I think if you aim to improve health habits, including regular exercise, rather than aiming to e.g. lose x amout of weight within y period of time through dieting, then that creates a more meaningful, sustainable goal. Exercise improves your health, wellbeing, mental state and in my experience, also helps people look at life issues in a more balanced way. So I think its benefits extend much further than burning calories, building muscle, increasing metabolism etc.

I think that comes from the fact that you cannot out exercise a bad diet. Ideally you'll have both. But if you must pick between diet and exercise, pick the diet.

I agree with whoever mentioned the shift in relationships, that for some people who may well have been their 'fat friend', and that some may even consciously or subconsciously try to sabotage you.

I agree that what you eat has a lot more impact on weight than exercise - "You can't out walk your fork!" but of the people I know who have had a lot of weight to lose, the ones who gradually increased the amount they walk have done better at maintaining their lower weight than the ones who went to Zumba and similar.

The whole diet vs exercise thing is just that most people don't realise how few calories they burn with exercise. That it'll take me walking around 2 hours fast up and down hills to burn off 1 chocolate bar. 30 minutes does very little in terms of calorie burn, but the idea it does nothing is not true, it's just that you have to do a lot if you eat a lot.

The other issue is that exercise is good foryour total body strength and the way you look, I've lost weight but am now untoned, I look far better dressed than undressed - i'm thin but wobbly! Diet alone might make you thinner, but it won't give you a 'beach body' without exercise.

Frogisatwat Slimming world involves effort too. I went from 21 stone to 10 stone 12.

I lost a stone a month for the first seven months....developed gall bladder disease (due to losing weight too quickly The surgeon told me this) and spent ten months dosed up on morphine before having my gall bladder taken out.

Well done OP And don't worry about other people Why do you need their validation anyway.