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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be judgy to a mum I met in RL?

74 replies

Luggagecarousel · 20/06/2014 21:23

I always thought I wouldn't, but maybe being on MN has changed me....

I went to help; I thought she was really struggling to cross a busy shopping street with a pram and her hands full of shopping. She got the pram down the kerb with some difficulty, while clutching two large sticks of bread in one hand, then dropped her bread, and other shopping in the gutter, with the pram still in the road, was making a real pigs ear of picking it all up again. With one hand. Picking things up and then dropping them repeatedly.

when I reached her I found the reason she was struggling so much was that other hand was clamping a phone to her ear, and 3/4 of her concentration was on her conversation.

Told her to get her baby out of the road! and didn't help pick up her shopping at all.

OP posts:
dashoflime · 20/06/2014 21:25

That sounds like really dangerous behaviour. Unless that call was to her kids cancer doctor or her own immigration solicitor, I would judge too!

RufusTheReindeer · 20/06/2014 21:26

So you don't know who she was speaking to

Her grandmother with dementia

Or the doctors regarding an urgent appointment

Or the school regarding picking up her sick child

(Or her mate that got off with a bloke last night)

PrincessBabyCat · 20/06/2014 21:26

Well.

You sure showed her. I'm sure she'll have a real good think when she gets home about a random person shouting at her.

thankslove · 20/06/2014 21:26

What was her reaction Lug?

MrsWolowitz · 20/06/2014 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Luggagecarousel · 20/06/2014 21:27

She pulled the pram out of the road, left the shopping on the floor and carried on talking.

no, I don't know who she was talking to, your quite right

OP posts:
PassTheCakeitsbeenatough1 · 20/06/2014 21:28

YANBU, whatever her conversation was about she could have waited before crossing the road. Idiot!

ThursdayLast · 20/06/2014 21:29

You're not serious?
Why does anyone use the word judgey?
Always make themselves sound like an arse from the start.

MissThang · 20/06/2014 21:31

Good for you. So you don't know who she was talking to, didn't help her with the shopping let alone get the baby out of the road? Nice one. I hope you get your arse handed to you on a plate tbh.

GoringBit · 20/06/2014 21:31

YANBU. Okay, it could have been an important phone call, but more important than keeping your child out of the road? Hmm

jacks365 · 20/06/2014 21:31

That could have been me (it wasn't) I'm sure I got looks when I had my phone clamped to my ear, hurrying as much as possible while pushing a pram but my older daughter had collapsed and been rushed to hospital. I was trying to sort out someone to come get the baby while trying to get a bus to get to the hospital.

ajandjjmum · 20/06/2014 21:33

jacks - next time call a cab! Smile

Hope your DD is ok.

Drgonzosattorney · 20/06/2014 21:33

I know when I had my two babies my head was scrambled and I just tried to plough on through. You just don't know what was going on in her head. Perhaps a little kindness and understanding might have helped her.

TickleMePurple · 20/06/2014 21:34

Why on earth did you go to help but then not actually follow through and help? How horrible.

I'm being judgey now. About you OP.

Floggingmolly · 20/06/2014 21:36

What does it matter who she was talking to? Hmm. You don't shove your child's buggy into the road and leave it there for the duration of the call no matter who the hell it is.

Original poster
Luggagecarousel · 20/06/2014 21:37

I went to help because I though she was struggling to get the pram out of the road. I got angry when I realised she wasn't even trying to get the pram out of the road!

maybe I should have picked her bread up for her.

OP posts:
jacks365 · 20/06/2014 21:37

ajandjjmum it's approximately £40 for a taxi to the hospital and at the time I just didn't have the money. She's fine now this happened a bit back and yes I did take care crossing roads but I wouldn't mind betting that it wasn't obvious.

FartyMcGhee · 20/06/2014 21:39

Really? With all the shit parenting that goes on this tipped you over the edge? Jesus.

BuzzardBird · 20/06/2014 21:41

I think being on MN has made me less judgmental...not more.
Although in my head, I have judged your grammar a bit Blush

MissThang · 20/06/2014 21:41

Nowhere does it say the woman shoved her pram in the road FloggingMolly, love.
Nobody knows what the conversation was about but obviously this lady wasn't thinking straight and was in a right kerfuffle, can happen to any of us. Bit of kindness wouldn't have gone amiss. I hope sincerely I never have to cross paths with the likes of you and others on a bad day OP.

CorporateRockWhore · 20/06/2014 21:43

So you judged her for leaving her baby in the road, then decided to leave her baby in the road too?

Good work, OP. The moral authority is all yours.

Original poster
Luggagecarousel · 20/06/2014 21:43

What is wrong with my grammar Buzzard????

OP posts:
Original poster
Luggagecarousel · 20/06/2014 21:44

No, corporate, I did not leave her baby in the road. I was reluctant to grab her pram myself, but would have done, if she hadn't responded to me telling her to get the baby out of the road!

OP posts:
Marshy · 20/06/2014 21:45

Sometimes people just need a hand. They don't have to 'deserve' it. If you can't help without judging and feeling like you are bestowing a favour then don't bloody bother!

Original poster
Luggagecarousel · 20/06/2014 21:45

I have to say, she didn't seem upset, concerned, or hassled in any way,

OP posts: