Since he has woken up this morning and (kindly) driven me and DS to school because I haven't slept after being up with DS all night. He has:
Told me there wasn't much room for mushrooms and ran off with the trolly
Locked the car so I couldn't get back in when I took the trolley back.
Said "look how good I am at parking, you're rubbish" massive grin I put all the wheels straight all near and everything"
Told the lady at the checkout to call the police because he was one of them slave people and I hadn't let him out for 50 years (I'm in my 20s) because I asked him to put a bag in the trolley
Asked me why I turned the air vents on near the drivers seat in the car because he doesn't like them on while driving, when told I do he said that he was more important (again massive grin) and if I did it again he was going to put anchovies in the air vents so I wouldn't turn them on.
Trumped when walking past me and and told DS it was me.
It's important to note that these (and more) were all jokes. He is a very kind man and came back to mine from a 12 hour shift atwork to help me with my DS because I was exhausted. But he thinks he's hilarious and I want to smother him with a cushion.
Or maybe I should just feed his very expensive fish to the cats, who desperately needed a fuss off me when I was putting the shopping away so came (with help from him) to sit on to shoulder.
Is there perhaps a mute button. I love him dearly but I'm tired and he isn't funny today