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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be considering a boob job after breastfeeding?

104 replies

shatteredboo · 19/06/2014 14:16

I have been feeding my DS for nearly 12 months now and have now got incredibly wonky boobs as a result. We're talking at least 2-3 cup sizes and its really starting to get me down now. I am being a completely vacuous fool for even considering this? This sort of thing is completely out of character for me and I've shocked myself that I'm thinking about it.

DS does favour one side more than the other as a result that side is much, much bigger. I have tried to encourage him to feed more on the other side to increase supply etc but nothing is working. I really do look ridiculous. I know that when i do stop feeding some normality may return, but the fact is, the smaller side is far smaller than it was pre pregnancy. Its like an empty sack.

I am expecting to get an earful from some of you to some degree - I know no ones body looks the same post pregnancy but surely I'm not being unrealistic to expect my boobs to be at least within a cup size of one another? Am I???

I just feel like my body has been through enough already - third degree tearing, I suffered severe nerve damage (due to hospital negligence) during birth and couldnt walk for months and I developed vitiligo during pregnancy (triggered by hormones) which has got progressively worse and spread across my hands, chest and arms. (oh, and it has also taken away the pigment of half of one of my nipples....) on top of stretch marks etc etc which are part and parcel of most pregnancies obvs.

It just makes me feel really shit that I might have to pad for the rest of my life, and be careful of what I wear that might draw attention to the difference in size. And bye bye bikinis on any hols i might have.

Am I being a dick for caring so much???

OP posts:

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 10:25

Exactly and there is nothing wrong with that. Sad that the very people who think they are on women's side are actually the people who make women feel uncomfortable and ashamed for wanting to look nice and ironically are the very people who demand that women should not have that choice.
I will be dead in 40 years, why the hell can't I do things that make me happy while I am here? I don't care less what anyone thinks of me, I do care about not ever, ever finding a top that fits me because it's bloody annoying. I don't look at myself in the mirror and think I look nice, I don't strut around in a bikini, the main thing for me is, to repeat this one more time, being able to wear clothes.

Branleuse · 21/06/2014 10:43

even reconstruction after mastectomy is purely cosmetic. Reconstruction after breastfeeding is not seen the same way. Maybe mothers deserve to look shit. Need to accept their lot etc.

Branleuse · 21/06/2014 10:45

by that im not saying all mothers tits look shit. Mine certainly did though. You all know what i mean im sure

itsbetterthanabox · 21/06/2014 10:45

Op I'm just trying to show another perspective. If you want to do it that's ok of course! But I think it's important to take it seriously and not have unneeded, risky surgery when maybe working on your personal self image and belief will make you be happier with your body and happier overall. I find the flippant comments by some people strange as though they don't see what a big deal surgery is. But if I'm causing this much vitriol I'll leave I was just trying to answer your question

Branleuse · 21/06/2014 10:51

if your boobs are really lopsided, the surgery will depend on whether there is sagging, and how much actual breast tissue you already have. whether you want an uplift too, and whether you have enough breast tissue to have the much simpler 'over the muscle' placement, or whether you need an under muscle placement.

I got a lot of support and information from boobjobsupportforum which is uk based.

cerealqueen · 21/06/2014 10:57

WAIT!!!! Mine were different for a ling time after DD1, at least a couple of cup sizes, looked weird, I had to boost one with a chicken fillet thing. They evened out after weaning.

DD2 was the same, two wonky breasts but but I encouraged her to use both sides and they are pretty even. The female body is amazing!

YouMakeMeHappy · 21/06/2014 10:59

Hi,I've not reAd the rest of the thread but just want to add my experience.

I was small to start with, and after breasfeeding two children there was next to nothing left. Not saggy, just empty.
So I got lovely new big ones for about 5k.
They don't need replacing after ten years either.

My surgeon who worked for the NHS doing reconstruction squad that sometimes during fb the breast tissue actually turns I to milk glands. Which was why I was left with less boob after feeding. The milk glands shrunk down to nothing when they weren't being used.

After three years I had another baby who is six months old and who I am feeding again with no probs. I will probably get them re done a bot bigger to fill them out where the skin has been stretched

I used a website called so feminine which was very useful.

Good luck

OwlCapone · 21/06/2014 12:08

Owl- would you put a comment like that on a "magic knickers" thread?

Like I said it's just a different way of looking at it. I only made the comment because of Theodorus' post about women being somehow "empowered" into being able to surgically later their bodies to fit the socially acceptable shape. I couldn't give a stuff what people do to themselves.

Don't bother, she clearly just came into this thread to cause trouble. Best ignored.

Don't be so ridiculous.

OwlCapone · 21/06/2014 12:08

Alter. Not later.

arrrghhhhwaiting · 21/06/2014 12:19

Hello shatteredboo

I was the same and I did have surgery to correct true asymmetry. Please pm me (in not sure how to!) I'm happy to answer any questions, share pics, whatever, as your situation sou es quite similar to mine.
I know how miserable this used to make me, so can imagine how you're feeling x

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 12:20

No I said empowered to be free to make choices and not be made to feel uncomfortable by bitter, angry bullies who think they can tell all women what to think and how to behave. I would rather be plastic than bitter and angry. At the end of the day I am happy AND have perky boobs, you are angry and unhappy and probably don't.

OwlCapone · 21/06/2014 12:22

you are angry and unhappy and probably don't.

Why on earth would you think that?

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 12:27

I am so bored I am just being silly. I don't think you sound very nice, but in real life you probably don't go round telling women what to think and are normal. Also people who attack empowered independent women tend to get short shrift and are just laughed at.

OwlCapone · 21/06/2014 12:33

WTF are you talking about?

I don't think you sound very nice

I think you sound overly aggressive towards me on this thread. For some reason. I wasn't the poster insinuating that you were being shallow for wanting to look good in the bath, that was someone else. I couldn't care less.

but in real life you probably don't go round telling women what to think and are normal.

I'm not. I am offering a different way of looking at it. You are the only one telling someone what to think.

Also people who attack empowered independent women tend to get short shrift and are just laughed at.

Take a long hard look at yourself then.

Joysmum · 21/06/2014 12:37

My breasts disappeared and I had empty skin which was then also lopsided after I had emergency surgery on one.

I had implants to take me back to a full B/small C and I've never been more confident now I'm back to being me again.

One note of caution though, I have hyper sensation and lack of sensation which does affect my sex life in that respect. So beware to take this into consideration before you make your decision...oh and chose your surgeon wisely. I chose mine because in the NHS he specialises in breast reconstruction.

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 12:38

Well don't steam in to threads you know you will disapprove of just so you can start a fight. It's tedious. I am very tired of the anti woman stuff on here, people who care about their appearance are not fair play for bullying. It doesn't render then stupid just because they care what they look like.

arrrghhhhwaiting · 21/06/2014 12:39

I think there is the concept of being socially acceptable for or very image convoys society. And there is the case where being anatomically incorrect, for want of a better word, is so extreme that it is understandable.
At the risk of using an inflammatory word, there are deformities that occur to all parts of the body.Deformaties that most people would not expect someone to live with. Just became they happen to occassionally relate to a sexualized body part does not ameliorate that.

arrrghhhhwaiting · 21/06/2014 12:40

Our very

OwlCapone · 21/06/2014 12:51

Well don't steam in to threads you know you will disapprove of just so you can start a fight.

I didn't!!

I honestly have no idea what you are on about. I can only assume you have confused me with itsbetterthanabox

I shall copy my first post here and make it my last.

I agree with others - wait. You may well be pleasantly surprised with how they end up.

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 13:16

I am truly sorry for taking it out in you when the other person was such a knob but you quoted what is said and added a patronising comment. It's the other person who has made so upset though and I did attack you in retaliation. Sorry. Just to add though I truly am bright enough to decide without being brainwashed by society.

YouMakeMeHappy · 21/06/2014 13:44

Joys mum I wonder if we had the same surgeon? I went to Nottingham.

I've read the rest of the thread now and forgot to mention I also lost nipple sensation, but couldn't care less as I don't "use" them for sexual reason.. There are also patches on both breasts which are totally numb and feel like very weird when i touch them, as if they don't belong to me! It doesn't bother me though and I was still able to breastfeed.

It definitely upset me having no chest. Maybe it shouldn't but it did. I care a lot about what I look like.. I'm not sure it's healthy/normal.
I'm very happy but I've often wondered if I would be happy if I'd been born ugly. I don't think I would be.

I'll find out though as I get older I suppose. There's no amount of Botox or fillers or even surgery that can stop time

DevoidofBeans · 21/06/2014 14:42

I had the same thing with dd1, I don't know if it would have resolved over time as I didn't stop bf until I was a few months pregnant with dd2. I am now bf dd2 and am making sure I feed her on the small side more,so far they are much more even. Are you planning to have another baby? If so that might help!

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 21/06/2014 16:02

I too was significantly bigger on one size, by at least three cup sizes, the good news is the eight months on I am completely the wrong size, the bad news is that I am almost completely flat chested and no longer fill any of my bra/bikinis/dresses/fitted jackets. It gets me down a lot

itsbetterthanabox · 21/06/2014 17:25

I think someone has some issues. Just because I disagree with you and offered the op different advice you have completely derailed the thread with a weird rant. It's clearly not worth answering all the sexist bullshit you are spouting as you have so much vitriol and it derails but seriously stop. It's offensive and sad to call anyone who disagrees with you old and bitter with saggy breasts...

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 19:13

Not interested. After grotesque I can't take you seriously. You are the weirdo not me.

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