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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering a boob job after breastfeeding?

104 replies

shatteredboo · 19/06/2014 14:16

I have been feeding my DS for nearly 12 months now and have now got incredibly wonky boobs as a result. We're talking at least 2-3 cup sizes and its really starting to get me down now. I am being a completely vacuous fool for even considering this? This sort of thing is completely out of character for me and I've shocked myself that I'm thinking about it.

DS does favour one side more than the other as a result that side is much, much bigger. I have tried to encourage him to feed more on the other side to increase supply etc but nothing is working. I really do look ridiculous. I know that when i do stop feeding some normality may return, but the fact is, the smaller side is far smaller than it was pre pregnancy. Its like an empty sack.

I am expecting to get an earful from some of you to some degree - I know no ones body looks the same post pregnancy but surely I'm not being unrealistic to expect my boobs to be at least within a cup size of one another? Am I??? Sad

I just feel like my body has been through enough already - third degree tearing, I suffered severe nerve damage (due to hospital negligence) during birth and couldnt walk for months and I developed vitiligo during pregnancy (triggered by hormones) which has got progressively worse and spread across my hands, chest and arms. (oh, and it has also taken away the pigment of half of one of my nipples....) on top of stretch marks etc etc which are part and parcel of most pregnancies obvs.

It just makes me feel really shit that I might have to pad for the rest of my life, and be careful of what I wear that might draw attention to the difference in size. And bye bye bikinis on any hols i might have.

Am I being a dick for caring so much???

OP posts:
Original poster
shatteredboo · 19/06/2014 15:04

Ok, so now I hear from some of you that I may even up at some point, I'm feeling a lot better about it all. THANK YOU!
What I really didn't want is for this to come across as vain in any way, although I suppose to some people that's the way it appears.
I know I should be grateful for the fantastic job my body has done of carrying and nurturing my baby, it just does make me feel very self concious indeed, rightly or wrongly.
Madwoman you are right to some degree - I am carrying a lot of bitterness about my birth experience which has yet to be addressed by those responsible. After several requests for a debriefing. Aaaaaanyway, different story....

OP posts:
Doitforme · 19/06/2014 15:23

Shattered have you thought about using a breastpump to increase the milk supply in the unfavoured breast? Babies tend to favour one side over the other and the result is that when baby starts to feed from the unfavoured side the milk doesn't come as easily and baby gets frustrated and then demands the favoured breast. By increasing the milk supply in the other breast your baby may start to take from it again but more importantly for your feelings of well being, your breast size in the smaller breast may increase to match the other. It is a faff but it should solve the problem and then even if baby wont take the unfavoured breast, the milk you will collect can be frozen for when you are out or used at another time. It might take awhile to build up the supply but worth it if you increase the size of the breast.

NoodleOodle · 19/06/2014 15:40

My friend had boobs that were a few cup sizes different when breastfeeding. She was offered surgery on nhs but waited, a few years later they are the same size again and a lovely shape and she would never dream of having surgery on them. I suggest you wait,, see how you feel in a couple of years.

allisgood1 · 19/06/2014 15:43

My boobs one year after having DD2 went from a 34b (pre-pregnancy) to 32a. I am now pregnant with dc3 and dread to think what they will be like when I'm done breastfeeding. But I will definitely be getting implants once I am done breastfeeding!

Doitforme · 19/06/2014 15:59

Diet pre pregnancy, during pregnancy and during lactation has a lot to do with how your breasts shape up. More natural fats are needed to keep the skin from developing stretch marks. Weaning and stoping breastfeeding too soon can also cause drooping and sagging of breast tissue as the body needs time to reabsorb. Its like weight loss, if you do it too fast the body is left with excess skin and bagginess but if done slowly the body has time to adjust. Generally 2 to 4 years is the optimal time for decreasing feeds as the baby generally takes less and less naturally and the breasts have time to readjust.

Branleuse · 19/06/2014 16:11

i got mine done after finishing breastfeeding, three babies and breastfeeding all of them wrecked them aesthetically, although most of the damage was done with the first one.

poorincashrichinlove · 19/06/2014 16:41

I think a very gradual reduction in feeds helps too. IME women that bf for longer periods, gradually reducing feeds through weaning, and keeping a bedtine feed going until DC rejected me is less interested, find their boobs recover shape better than those who stop abruptly.
Disclaimer: Of course this is not always possible and is not intended to offend those who do not bf or stop sooner Smile

KnackeredMuchly · 19/06/2014 16:43

Has he ever fed off the other one? Or just developed a preference as he grew up?

They will definitely even out by the way.

OhBabyLilyMunster · 19/06/2014 16:47

Just to be clear OP i definitely think YANBU!

RosegoldRuby · 19/06/2014 16:51

Like so many others said, wait a good year/ 18 months. If you do decide to go ahead, that's your business. Ignore any judgyness. Your boobz, your roolz. Find someone reputable though, so you don't have more regrets.
FYI I b/f 6 babies for around 18 months each (consecutively, not concurrently!) and my boobs eventually were better than ever. One of my best body features now, I'd say.

PrincessBabyCat · 19/06/2014 16:58

What I really didn't want is for this to come across as vain in any way, although I suppose to some people that's the way it appears.

It's not being vain to care about how you look. You should take pride in your appearance and be confident in your body. I was self conscious after I gave birth to DD and the worst I had was a pudgy tummy afterwards (and some tearing). I would assume it's normal to look at your post pregnancy body and cringe a bit.

Vanity is making your looks the most important thing on your list of priorities. If you were vain you would have stopped BF DS simply to save your breasts. Wink

You're just being self conscious and understandably so. In the mean time I would try and take pride in the fact that your body did an amazing thing, and look at things like pregnancy scars like battle scars to show off. I think you'll find that the one that cares the most about how you look is you. Everyone else probably isn't thinking much of it (even on the beach). :)

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/06/2014 17:44

In the interim, I'd find bras where you can pad to compensate. If you're a bigger cup size, www.ewa-michalak.pl does them. They have pockets in the cup so you can leave one side unpaid fed and double pad the other side.

I agree with others that you are NBU to feel like this or to consider surgery, but I really think you should wait for now.

MaryWestmacott · 19/06/2014 17:55

YANBU - the only thing stopping me having mine done (just shy of 1 year post bfing and while roughly the same size, very spanial ear like), is the approximate £5k cost at the local private hosptial. Maybe next year...

creampie · 19/06/2014 17:55

Check out the website shapeofamother.

It shows lots of post pregnancy bodies at various times post partum. You may see someone else with a similar problem, and it might give you an idea how it will look down the line.

Waltonswatcher · 19/06/2014 19:14

Op I am still feeding my dd 2.6.
My boobs are all over the place - some days d and then a day back to my old f . I have six bras to cope with the fluctuations !
When you finish feeding they will bounce back I'm sure . Mine did with Ds and that was also a two year feeding frenzy .

Original poster
shatteredboo · 19/06/2014 19:25

Thank you everyone. I have been trying to express off the smaller one as much as I can, but frankly, it's like getting milk out of a shriveled tit.

As per advice, I will make sure I wait a good while before giving it any more thought. Until then I'll pad away I guess!

OP posts:
meganorks · 19/06/2014 19:26

I don't want implants myself, but I would like them hoiked up about 3 inches or so! Is thar possible?? Still feeding dd2 but want to stop now (almost a year old). Last time I think they went back to being smaller although had lost weight and not long after stopping feeding I was pregnant again. So who knows.

YANBU though

Original poster
shatteredboo · 19/06/2014 19:26

Thank you everyone. I have been trying to express off the smaller one as much as I can, but frankly, it's like getting milk out of a shriveled tit.

As per advice, I will make sure I wait a good while before giving it any more thought. Until then I'll pad away I guess!

OP posts:
Original poster
shatteredboo · 19/06/2014 19:33

He has always preferred the one side I guess, although I have always tried to make sure he nurses evenly on both sides.

As well as daytime feeds, he's still having a feed during the night (I know, I know...) and tbh it is nearly always the favoured side, probably because in my zombie like state I just go into auto pilot and plonk him on.

OP posts:
ElleBellyBeeblebrox · 19/06/2014 19:42

Zombie auto boober here too!

MaryWestmacott · 19/06/2014 21:46

Meganorks - that's called a breast lift - sometimes done with an implant, sometimes on it's own. (grim bit) they do take your nipple off and reattach it, but if you're not 100% certain you're done with DCs, you can have them take the milk ducts too so woman who've had that done normally can still breast feed afterwards, which is rather cool if you think about it...

I was thinking about that, but realised I've lost volume compared to pre-bfing as well as sagging, scooped up I'm not filling old bras by about 3 cup sizes, so should I find the money, it's an implant, possibly with lift. I just can't justify spending £5k on my boobs now...

itsbetterthanabox · 19/06/2014 21:50

They will even out again.
Why can you not wear bikinis?
It really isn't worth the risk or expense. If your esteem is that rooted in one body part you need to work on your self worth. Try and make yourself help happy in ways that don't involve your appearance.

TweedleDi · 19/06/2014 22:42

Don't rush! Another one here whose deflated and wonky boobs restored to pre-pregnancy looks around a year after stopping feeding!

AlfAlf · 19/06/2014 22:51

Ah, I recall being saddened by the deflated little sacks I had left when I stopped breastfeeding dd1, but yes it's true - they grow back :)
I've now breastfed three dcs and gone through the cycle of boobs inflating and then shrinking to nothing three times, but at the age of almost thirty nine my boobs are quite nice, not massive (they never were) but fairly pert and snuggly.

amywassailing · 19/06/2014 22:53

How long would you advise to wait? It's been almost four years since I stopped breastfeeding and the 'empty sack' effect hasn't improved significantly.