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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering a boob job after breastfeeding?

104 replies

shatteredboo · 19/06/2014 14:16

I have been feeding my DS for nearly 12 months now and have now got incredibly wonky boobs as a result. We're talking at least 2-3 cup sizes and its really starting to get me down now. I am being a completely vacuous fool for even considering this? This sort of thing is completely out of character for me and I've shocked myself that I'm thinking about it.

DS does favour one side more than the other as a result that side is much, much bigger. I have tried to encourage him to feed more on the other side to increase supply etc but nothing is working. I really do look ridiculous. I know that when i do stop feeding some normality may return, but the fact is, the smaller side is far smaller than it was pre pregnancy. Its like an empty sack.

I am expecting to get an earful from some of you to some degree - I know no ones body looks the same post pregnancy but surely I'm not being unrealistic to expect my boobs to be at least within a cup size of one another? Am I??? Sad

I just feel like my body has been through enough already - third degree tearing, I suffered severe nerve damage (due to hospital negligence) during birth and couldnt walk for months and I developed vitiligo during pregnancy (triggered by hormones) which has got progressively worse and spread across my hands, chest and arms. (oh, and it has also taken away the pigment of half of one of my nipples....) on top of stretch marks etc etc which are part and parcel of most pregnancies obvs.

It just makes me feel really shit that I might have to pad for the rest of my life, and be careful of what I wear that might draw attention to the difference in size. And bye bye bikinis on any hols i might have.

Am I being a dick for caring so much???

OP posts:
amywassailing · 19/06/2014 22:54

And my best friend jokes about her 'spaniel ears' and she stopped breastfeeding two years before I did.

MrsKoala · 19/06/2014 23:10

I've decided that when i am thru with my dc i will be getting mine evened up. I can only feed on the right side and when bfing had one enormous breast and one pancake. Then i stopped a year ago, and i have been left with what looks like a sock with a satsuma in and a fried egg (i naturally was very flat before dc). After a year one is still much fuller and bigger than the other. It makes bra buying soul destroying. I am now pregnant again and i am concerned that with every child i will be left bigger on one side. (We are hoping for 3 dc - so if i go up 1-2 cups on the right with every baby like i did with ds i will be very wonky)

It really does make you feel utterly shit and self conscious about your body.

Yanbu or a dick. I am embarrassed in a swimming costume and have to sew pads into my bikinis.

ChangelingToday · 19/06/2014 23:18

I hate my boobs post breastfeeding, three years on. They look like two empty bags of sand. Would like them back up where they used to be, not bigger, just perky again. I hate the way they look in clothes now too.

OscarWinningActress · 19/06/2014 23:35

I stopped bfing 6 years ago and mine are even now but still deflated and much smaller than they were originally. I invest in really good bras and bikinis. Cheap ones do not cut it. Expect to pay upwards of £100 for a well-made bikini. I now feel great in clothes, low cut tops and bathing suits but naked is another story Sad.

losingmybelt · 19/06/2014 23:40

I think you need to wait till you stop bf - and they may settle down.

As for having a boob job, I don't think the NHS should be paying for it as it is cosmetic.
I
(I think they're going to start cracking down on that sort of thing soon anyway)
If you do decide to go ahead with it - You'd better start saving as boob jobs are expensive.

bonbonpixie · 19/06/2014 23:50

Aw OP I could have written this exact post a few months ago. Like your son my daughter always had a preference for one side and there was a good couple of cup sizes difference for over a year. It really bothered me. Anyway fast forward to now. I'm 19 weeks pregnant and they are both back to normal. Both the same size. Are you planning on having more children?

MaryWestmacott · 20/06/2014 06:29

Mine did pretty much recover within a year of stopping with dc1, but I'm about 10 months post stopping feeding dc2 and they are terrible! Some woman are lucky, some not!!

Cost wise, you are looking between £3-6k in the uk, although clinics overseas are cheaper (someone on another they'd discussing this last week said she went to Belgium and paid £2k, but the difference there was the insurance needed for private practice is so much cheaper, for the same level of care the overheads are a lot lower, personally I wouldn't feel comfortable going abroad for an operation).

Do some research if you are serious, but not worth planning until you've stopped and everything has settled back down.

Theodorous · 20/06/2014 06:47

Do it, it doesn't change your life or make you happy but it is a great feeling to be in the bath and be able to see your stomach and being able to buy nice bras that just fit rather than needing the hoicking thing doing. Don't use NHS hospitals though, it is so important to avoid infection as it can cause really bad scars.

itsbetterthanabox · 20/06/2014 23:29

When did we get to a point where we are telling women to cut up their bodies so that the look slightly younger when they look down on themselves in the bath! Seriously. Think about what your saying.

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 04:55

When women became empowered to do what they wanted with themselves as they liked without bitter angry old bats tutting at them and telling them they are stupid. That's when. Did you open a thread about something that offends you so much just so you could get that in? Get a life.

OwlCapone · 21/06/2014 07:06

When women became empowered to do what they wanted with themselves as they liked

Or when women became indoctrinated into what society expects a woman's body to look like. Depends how you look at it.

Sleepysheepsleeping · 21/06/2014 07:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 07:21

Yeah right, whatever.

Branleuse · 21/06/2014 07:47

the surgeon will want you to have not been breastfeeding for 6mths to a year before considering it as your breasts change so much, it will affect tge final outcome if you dont

MaryWestmacott · 21/06/2014 07:48

Owl- would you put a comment like that on a "magic knickers" thread? Or on the bra interventions (getting woman in right sized bras often is more about the look than health reasons).

I diet and exercise, I pluck my eyebrows, I wax my tash off, I wear makeup every day (at least tinted moisturiser and mascara), I dye my greys brown, and I wear underwear that pulls my small saggy boobs back up to give the illusion of a better figure than I have. All of these things could be said to be trying to make myself look the way society has said woman should look, yet asking advice on products for these on other threads never gets me criticism for somehow letting down the sisterhood for wanting to do this.

I haven't had my boobs done, but that's purely the price tag.

If the op is unhappy with her body, I don't think she's wrong to want to change it if she can afford it.

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 08:00

Don't bother, she clearly just came into this thread to cause trouble. Best ignored.

MrsMook · 21/06/2014 08:07

I'm lopsided at the moment as I struggled with vasospasm on one side so cut the feeds, and DS has never got the supply going fully on that side again. It's OK in the morning, but gets more obvious through the day as I fill up with milk. In tbe last week I've worn 3 cup sizes after a weekend away as I've been engorged, emptied and returned to normal.

I found the texture of my breasts improved in the few months between stopping feeding, and pregnancy. Time does make a difference.

In my head, I've allowed myself a tummy tuck after a certain birthday. That doesn't mean I will do it, but allowing myself the chance to do something about it makes me feel better as it gives me some control over my body, even if I don't.

Branleuse · 21/06/2014 09:04

noone makes comments on people getting orthodontic treatment or reconstructive surgery, tummy tucks etc. People have always got an opinion when it's boobs or fannies people want altering and like to judge whether its the right reason or not.

We have the technology. If you have the means snd are ok with the recovery and the risks then its purely the business of the woman concerned.

itsbetterthanabox · 21/06/2014 09:47

Actually I gave advice to the op earlier in the thread as she asked. But then obviously I saw more in the thread and I think grotesque comments like yours theo need challenging.

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 09:48

Grotesque? You are nuts dear.

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 09:54

Actually you are coming across as a bully. Please do not make any more comments to me personally.

MrsKoala · 21/06/2014 10:03

It's not to look 'younger' tho is it? It's to not look and feel lopsided, which honestly is an utter pita when trying to buy clothes. I've always had odd shaped boobs and clothes just don't seem to be made for my body shape.

Agree with MrsMook, it is psychologically comforting to have mentally decided you will have it done - whether you actually have it done or not is a different matter. But for me, when i can't buy a bra, or tops, and look noticeably asymmetrical in a bikini, knowing i have given myself permission to have my norks sorted out after my dc if i still need/want it makes me feel so much better and not cry

I have left it a year between bfing and pregnancy and sadly for me they didn't even up. So everyone is different in that respect.

bayrans · 21/06/2014 10:05

Oh I'm not a freak!

Thank goodness!

I have been wondering what to do/who to approach about my wonky norks. One side is 2/3 cups bigger, the other side has stopped producing milk altogether so I'm only feeding from one (I'm in the process of completely stopping anyway)

Hoping I'll even out too. Not sure I could do a boobjob, the c-section was enough for me!

Theodorous · 21/06/2014 10:08

I had a size 10 body and had to wear 18 tops before my surgery. I was totally out of proportion. Let's be realistic though, it's cosmetic whether uneven, saggy or wanting an enlargement. I don't buy all that "it's ok if you really need it" crap. Nobody needs cosmetic surgery, with the exception of accidents/illness etc, people have boob jobs because they want to look and feel different and be able to walk into a shop and find clothes that fit.

MrsKoala · 21/06/2014 10:16

when i say 'need' it is whether i want it personally and would make me happier. I mean even people who have had mastectomies don't need it - in that they wont physically die if they don't have reconstruction. But quite rightly they decide that they 'need' it, because it helps them feel better and they may mentally 'need' it to achieve that. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Need is not just physical. Yes we could tell them they are fine without it. But quite frankly it's none of our business to judge.