to continue giving DS what he's always had for lunch

[mylilyfire]

DS has a packed lunch (year 2.) he has a whole meal pitta bread filled with chicken salad, a hard boiled egg, an apple or pear, yoghurt and a home made flapjack.

He is apparently being bullied because of the egg? All the children have been complaining about it smelling. I hate the pressure to comform, he's 7

I don't really want the other children to know it's got to him so I've told him to tell a teacher but he's got quite upset.

WIBU to send it in anyway? To me it's a standard healthy sort of lunch item!

Needadvice yeah probably. I had a really nasty bullying episode that lasted years, I'm not kidding, and started over something similarly innocuous and inoffensive and stupid, so I do worry a lot about my child being unhappy.

Seeing a lovely little boy in tears is horrible and yes, I was worried that if I just left out the 'offensive' food item then it would be evident to the others that they had got under DS's skin a bit and exacerbate the problem as a result.

I think calling a group of children bullies because they are reacting badly to a very smelly food, is a bit much really.

Eggs stink.

There is no getting round that.

Kids social skills aren't honed socially and they will comment.

He either needs to learn to shrug it off if he enjoys his egg that much, or eat the egg another time.

Unless he is being bullied, then why would leaving the egg out cause further problems.

I am deeply confused here? Am I missing something?

...evident to the others that they had got under DS's skin a bit and exacerbate the problem as a result

but you're making the assumption they're doing it to be horrid, rather than just pointing out a bad smell. Do you have evidence that this is true?

What does he want to do?

Whatever it is, do that.

How long has this egg situation been a problem (fasincated now...)

Leave the egg out and when the other kids say something just tell him to reply with "yeah you're right it did stink a bit like farts" or something to that effect that 7 year old boys will find funny. It's not 'letting them win' if your DS stands up for himself.

Eggs stink, especially in hot classrooms. Take it out, if the problem persists then you know it is bullying.

OP i think about this sort of thing I must admit I think my DS finds social stuff hard so I do everyhting to minimise any other potential sources of teasing. I do try to make sure he fits in. This is the whole idea behind a uniform. They break away from this during teens - until then I help fit in.

So no I wouldnt put the egg in. Give him a boiled egg for breakfast - isnt an egg a day too much anyway or is it not every day?

Why dont you put it to him about having a more vaired lunch box and see if there are any things he would like to try and have more regular?

There are potentially bigger an worse battles to pick.

I don't think they 'stink' - they do when you've cooked them but a hard boiled egg is hardly cow manure.

I don't really care whether people call them bullies or not, but when your child is crying because a group of other children have been 'teasing' him I do class that as bullying, which is different to someone being a bully.

I don't see why you're confused, I've explained several times what happened and why I was asking on here.

We get vilified in the staff room if we bring in an egg sandwich
And fish in any form means you have to sit in the corner away from everyone else.

I know dietcoke but he does find it hard. He's a quiet boy anyway.

As I said over the page I'll send him to school without the egg.

Bamboo why is my son's distress so fascinating to you?

Oh stop being so precious!

I love hard boiled eggs but I wouldn't eat one in the office. Stinky! I think you're over thinking the 'bullying' hugely.

We have this about egg, cheese, bananas and marmite, it makes healthy vegetarian packed lunches very hard to make (no nuts obviously).

In the nicest possible way, I think you're over thinking it a bit too. I can understand why though. I think you do need to establish whether it's kids teasing him for having stinky food or real bullying. If it's the former, then nothing will happen when you send him without the egg, and he'll be happy again. Problem solved. If it's real bullying, and they still keep on at him, then at least you know, and can take action straight away.

Sorry but hard boiled eggs do give off a rather unpleasant odour, especially if they've been sitting in a lunchbox for an hour or two. I stopped taking eggs to work after someone commented how bad they smelt. I eat them for breakfast instead!

how many times has your OP been teased OP?

Just the once? This is not bullying! YOu need to calm down and manage this in a way that makes him happy. Either he shrug off the comments, or he loses the egg. What else is there to do.

And eggs do stink. They contain vast amount of sulphur-based amino acids, hence why they smell like farts (also contains sulphur).

smile, we have chickens :) and the school does have a pretty strict policy on food.

But I think I'm being misinterpreted a bit here. I'm not some sort of egg obsessed mother desperate to shovel at least one into my DS every day. It's more about wondering whether I should encourage him to have the confidence to eat what he wants and I suppose be who he is, or whether I should encourage him to fit in.

The consensus seems to be the latter which is where I was leaning anyway I think, so thank you for your replies :)

We had it with the type of juice he had, the type of bread, that he took fruit. Children can be mean, especially if the get a reaction.

Speak to your ds and ask him what he wants to do. Mine decided he was going to ignore them as he liked his lunch. They soon stopped.

No, your son's distress is not fascinating to me, your take on the situation is!

Wow I've just read the posts before mine, you need to seriously chill out. You are reading things that aren't there in the posts. Please don't let this rub off onto your son.

When I was in school, every time we went on a trip somewhere, as soon as we got on the bus the 'bet someone has egg sandwiches' comments would start. About half an hour into the journey everyone would start getting drinks or fruit or sweets. Out of their lunch bags. Inevitably someone would have egg sarnies and the smell would take over the whole bus. Regardless of who it was that had egg sarnies, the piss would be ripped, not so much out of the kid themselves but why on earth that kid's mother would be so stupid as to make egg sarnies on a school trip day and make her poor kid stink out the bus!

Seriously, it is entirely about the egg! (I love eggs, my bloke hates them. I almost never cook eggs when he is in the house and if I've had an egg sarnie whilst he is out the first thing he says when he walks in is 'you've been cooking eggs, haven't you?', and that's a well ventilated house, not an un refrigerated lunchbox that had a boiled egg put in it 4 hours ago)

Speak to his teacher.

I agree that children who want to bully another child will find a "reason" to do so. It might be their name, hair colour, the fact they're not good at sport, the fact that they're good at maths, or the fact that they like eggs (FFS!).

The children probably don't give a shit about eggs, any more than you do. They've just found a chink, and they're giving it a bit of jip.

Although he was a few years older then your ds

The thing is, eggs smell like farts and kids (especially some boys) are obsessed with farts.

Most of them have to sit in close proximity to each other in the lunch hall, so I imagine the smell does bother them.

Adults might be articulate enough to express their dislike, but 7yr olds would generally voice it loudly with "Eww you stink".

It can be upsetting but I don't think it's actual bullying.