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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think after spending my last fiver to buy cards they should write them

29 replies

moolady1977 · 15/06/2014 11:28

grrrrrr i spent my last fiver on 3 cards for my dc to give their dad my dh for fathers aibu to think they should at least write in the bog eyed bloody things they are 14,12 and 9 not babies it should take seconds ,,, im not doing it i refuse and if he dares says that i havent got him a card im gonna rip the bloody things up and chuck them at him grrrrr

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 15/06/2014 11:35

Yanbu, they aren't babies. Have you asked them to do it?

Itsjustmeagain · 15/06/2014 11:35

why would you spend the last of your money on a card?? they could have made one free if they wanted to !

having said that yanbu to think they could at least sign their name.

Chocotrekkie · 15/06/2014 11:38

A fiver for 3 cards Shock.

I got my Dh's from the kids for 29p each in the card factory.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 15/06/2014 11:38

What's happening when you tell them to go and write the cards? Mine (kind of similar ages) needed reminding again this morning as forgot last night but did then get on with it.

defineme · 15/06/2014 11:38

They should have made them. My 12 yrold did one on the computer and 10 year olds painted ones.
I would be worried about kids that can't be bothered to even do that. Why can't they?

KiaOraOAotearoa · 15/06/2014 11:42

'Rip them and chuck them at him'???!!!!!!
I'll go fetch my pearls in a minute, in the meantime: what???!!!!

What???!!!

KatieKaye · 15/06/2014 11:42

Why on earth did you buy cards for them in the first place? As you say, they aren't little children. If they are really unable for whatever reason to buy their own cards, why didn't you buy one from all three? Or tell them to make their own?

In any case, at their ages they should be using their own pocket money to buy the cards, how to plan, budge, take responsibility and care for others, all of which are important life-skills so you are doing them no favours by stepping in and sorting everything out. Father's Day is plastered all over the shop, media etc so they will be well aware of it and can have no excuses.
Your DC sound very ungrateful into the bargain. Perhaps you have to allow them to grow up?

Original poster
moolady1977 · 15/06/2014 11:44

yes they have been asked yes they have been reminded why wont they do it because it would mean getting off their arses and walking 5 or 6 steps .... yes mum has stopped wiping their bums and they dont like it ,,, think whats winding me up is they wanted the cards for him they picked them and grrr now they are just sat there

OP posts:
wafflyversatile · 15/06/2014 11:44

What's wrong with one card from all three?

wafflyversatile · 15/06/2014 11:45

Or them making them? It's not a great use of your last fiver unless even if you are getting money tomorrow.

Hakluyt · 15/06/2014 11:47

I feel sorry for the poor old dad concerned. There something going wrong here if they don't want to acknowledge Father's Day.....

KatieKaye · 15/06/2014 11:50

It is their problem, not yours.
Your DC clearly don't care about anyone except themselves. Have they always been this selfish? TBH they sound very indulged indeed and not very nice. "Asking them" when you are doing them a favour? No way. Reminding them when they jolly well know (it's hard to avoind the fact today is Father's Day) is not on either.
Time to start telling them "I want never gets"
However, if you have only recently stopped doing things like this, perhaps they are finding it hard to adjust to not having you do everything? Maybe it is a reaction to this?

ilovesooty · 15/06/2014 11:53

Why did you buy them for them? Why are you enabling such selfish and lazy behaviour from children old enough to take responsibility? What's the point of seething away? Go out and leave them tooit and vow to make some changes.

ilovesooty · 15/06/2014 11:56

In fact it sounds as though they're used to others doing everything for them. You're reading a set of not very pleasant people if they continue to expect and you continue to enable. Does their father chivvy them along on Mothers' Day too?

SavoyCabbage · 15/06/2014 12:00

Put two of them away for the next two years for a start.

pissedglitter · 15/06/2014 12:07

Very stern voice
"Get off your arse, sign the bloody card and go give it to your father with a fucking smile and a hug!"

I have had to remind my children to text/phone dads today

pissedglitter · 15/06/2014 12:08

Oh and stop buying expensive cards
Card factory and home bargains is your best places to buy nice but cheap cards

ilovesooty · 15/06/2014 12:10

I can't help wondering if you make their beds, cook all their meals and do all their washing and ironing too. I bet you do.

Original poster
moolady1977 · 15/06/2014 12:17

they are 14 12 and 9 so yes i cook clean wash and iron for them

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 15/06/2014 12:27

14 and 12 certainly should be taking turns with cooking and ironing. 9 should be helping cook, ad doing other things.

Nobody past babyhood should be waited on hand and foot.

ilovesooty · 15/06/2014 12:31

Why am I not surprised? How long are you going to wait on them hand and foot? The older two should be cooking their share of meals and doing their washing and ironing and the youngest should be lending a hand and have their own jobs to do. No wonder they're so lazy.

littlewhitebag · 15/06/2014 12:39

Your children are not babies and it would serve them very well for their future if you stopped treating them like they were. They are very well able to go to the shops, choose and buy a card and write it. If they can't mange that then dad gets no card. Not your problem. They also need to use their own pocket money. If they have no money they make a card.

It sounds like you are doing far too much for them. They are all well old enough to do chores around the house. You are making a rod for your own back and they will have not a clue when they leave home.

ShatnersBassoon · 15/06/2014 12:42

More fool you. They should be sorting it out between themselves.

KatieKaye · 15/06/2014 12:49

Do your children do anything for themselves? Even the youngest should be able to cook an easy meal (pasta with pesto, beans on toast, mashed potatoes), help change a bed, do dusting and hovering and iron simple things like pillow cases as well as hanging out washing, cutting the edges of the grass, doing weeding etc. These are all things they need to know how to do in order to be able to look after themselves.
Are they expected to save part of their pocket money for family presents, holidays etc or do they just spend it all on themselves?
Is it totally unknown for them to spontaneously do something nice for another person, e.g. buying you a small bunch of flowers, washing the car without being asked?

CheshireDing · 15/06/2014 12:51

Seriously? People expect 14 year olds to be regularly cooking and ironing!? My 2 are only babies but I cannot imagine expecting them to do such chores until probably last year of high school/in sixth form. There's decades for them to have to do such things later on.
Yes OP as others have said though, your children should have made/paid for their own cards.

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