Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To think STOP LOCKING THE DOOR!?

102 replies

MrsWinnibago · 14/06/2014 11:32

I live in a 1st floor flat. There are 4 flats in our building....2 on each level. On the ground floor are two separate and elderly couples...and on my floor there is me and my DH and our 2 DC and a girl who has a little baby.

It's like a large house that's been converted. We all share the front entrance and the back entrance. The back entrance leads to 4 little separate gardens...there's one "yard" which we all use for washing lines and then our gardens lead off this....they're like little allotments almost.

Anyway...the back door is the only access to the garden so my children go down there as does my cat.

My frigging neighbour keeps LOCKING the back door....putting it on the "snicket" as some people say.

This means my short DC can't get out and I constantly have to go down the stairs to unlock it. We're thoughtful and quiet neighbours...they're not in and out all day but like normal kids they do need regular access....WHY DOES HE KEEP FUCKING LOCKING IT???

I sent my smallest out to play...she's 6. I can see her out there from the kitchen window. Next thing I hear her yelling up "I can't get in!"

He'd fucking locked her out! It's one man....he's a bit bossy and a bit grumpy....why does he do this? He's lived her for thirty years so it could be habit I suppose...but this is a safe area and the front door is always locked so nobody could get through off the street....how shall I tackle this?

OP posts:

Rideronthestorm · 15/06/2014 08:24

Talk to your landlord, that could be a dangerous situation if people could be locked out.

They should talk to him and ask him what his concerns are. If he doesn't like the back door left insecure they need to get rid of the latch and provide a lock that can be opened from outside.

PinkSquash · 15/06/2014 08:24

You have internal lockable doors in each flat?

He locks the door without checking to potentially stop opportunist burglars but doesn't check to see who is outside?

The latch is internal only and thus your children are locked outside at risk of any 'burglars' that may be lurking?

Get new locks fitted and ask him to stop locking the door without checking there's someone out there.

PinkSquash · 15/06/2014 08:25

Tbh, if he thinks OP should be supervising perhaps he should be talking to the OP rather than being so passive aggressive?

PootlewasthebestFlump · 15/06/2014 08:26

So if you and your children wanted to use the garden together you run the risk of being stuck in your garden unable to get in because this man has put the communal back door on the lock from the inside?

Or if you go down to put washing out or get toys in you run the risk of getting locked in the garden with your kids in your flat because he has locked it from the inside?

And the only way out would be to shin over several fences and back to the front through someone else's house or side passage?

That's not ok.

Presumably he has a lockable front door to his own flat therefore it's not really a burglary issue. Sounds like he treats the whole building as his space because he 'owns' it and you are all 'just HA'.

It's a fire and security risk so speak with him then the HA to get it changed to one with a Yale lock so you can have keys.

afterthought · 15/06/2014 08:32

I think you need to change the type of lock so it can be locked and unlocked from both sides.

I am with him I'm afraid but I am very security conscious. Both my DP and grandparents have been burgled while they were in the house. There could also be a clause in his contents insurance about that door being locked.

I lock our back door when I am in the garden even though our garden is secure.

Floggingmolly · 15/06/2014 08:34

What exactly is the problem with going down with your kids, if they're that young? I wouldn't like the door swinging open all day just because they wanted to trot in and out as they pleased...
It's all part of communal living, I'd say, you have shared access only, so everyone gets a say.

LadyFlumpalot · 15/06/2014 08:47

I would have a word and suggest to him that you purchase a Yale type lock that will lock automatically behind anyone exiting, but can be opened from the outside. That should allay his fears about security. If you place it low enough (or leave a footstool outside the door) and give your children a key when they go outside then they can let themselves in.

TSSDNCOP · 15/06/2014 08:49

I can see why he may want the door locked for many reasons.

It's the nature of the lock that's at issue. Even with a stool it seems the kids can't get in from outside with the lock on. There is a risk he could shut one of the neighbours out including you with the kids inside.

Discuss it with all the neighbours.

If a new lock were fitted it would probably be a) more effective than a flicky catch b)you could all have keys (the DC could even have one in a lock box but he doesn't need to know that).

In the meantime: Would he mind if the kids had a little sign on the door when they're outside to let him know they're in the garden and they have a small stool to lock it when they come in?

PootlewasthebestFlump · 15/06/2014 08:50

So what if she goes down with her kids and he locks the door?

ivykaty44 · 15/06/2014 08:55

To everyone suggesting a fold up stool ....its not going to work if the latch is down and the door is unlockable from outside

To all those suggesting to move the lock lower.. Again this will not work as the MSN vsn bend down and put the latch down and still lock people in the garden

Changing the lock..council will need to do this and are unlikely to do it as the cost will be high

ivykaty44 · 15/06/2014 08:56

TSS

What happens if the DC stand on stoolut latch on and there are people in the garden?

TSSDNCOP · 15/06/2014 09:02

Ivy that could happen to any of the residents. You'd tell them to check first I suppose.

ivykaty44 · 15/06/2014 09:05

So its OK to lock residents in the garden..?

TSSDNCOP · 15/06/2014 09:08

I didn't say that. I said you'd check first.

SpeedwellBlue · 15/06/2014 09:48

The op going down with her kids to supervise them would make matters worse as then they'd all get locked out.

He11y · 15/06/2014 09:55

Can he see your garden from his flat? Can he see any of the gardens if it comes to that?

If he has a window overlooking the gardens then he must be selecting who he locks out.

If he doesn't have a window overlooking them, how far into the garden would he need to go in order to check nobody is out there?

The answers to these questions would determine how I approached him.

If he can easily see who is out there then it seems likely the children are annoying him for some reason.

If he can't see and locks it anyway then it's pure luck you've not been locked out yet and that's a different scenario.

It definitely needs addressing either way in my opinion.

gimcrack · 15/06/2014 10:04

You need to talk to him. Either he locked them out accidentally, and thought that you'd been lax in leaving the door unlocked, or he did it on purpose as he doesn't like the noise of the kids running in and out of the building.

Find out which it is. If it was the former, you need to pledge to check your kids relock the door when they come in (they can use a footstool until bigger, which lives in your flat - not the corridor). And flag that you are worried he will lock you out. If the latter, you need to tell the kids to be quieter in the building - walk, not run, not in and out every five minutes. You're entitled to use the garden, but be considerate. If he's not happy with that, tough.

wafflyversatile · 15/06/2014 10:35

It does sound like he is deliberately doing it just when the kids are there to make some sort of point which we can only guess at. He may have valid concerns for why he does this and having a grown up friendly talk with cake doesn't sound a bad idea. He might not like children in the garden disturbing his peace. He may feel that they should be supervised. Could be something else. You won't know unless you ask.

Regardless of this tension between you and neighbour there are other locks that sound like they would be more suitable to prevent anyone from getting trapped in the garden. It would solve your problem but not necessarily his if he just doesn't think your kid's 'right' to enjoy their garden trumps his 'right' to never have to hear the noise of children coming in his window from his garden.

Deverethemuzzler · 15/06/2014 10:41

I used to live in a communal block, larger than the OP's.

A bloke who lived on the first floor used to nail up the door to the garden.

NAIL it up.

So no one could use it. It was the only space for anyone to use. Right in the centre of London's most densely populated areas.

The fact that our front door never worked properly so anyone could (and did) wander in seemed to trouble him less.

We eventually got the front door locked changed from a domestic one to one that could withstand 100 people a day using it but he was never at the meetings.

Just used to hammer the fucking back door shut

Sorry OP, carry on

Bifauxnen · 15/06/2014 11:24

Nag the ha to change the locks. If he wants to live in fort knox under permanent lockdown then a building with shared access isn't for him. That's his problem not yours.
If I had to go down with the kids each time I would busy myself while they played by removing all the crap from the shared hallway.

SaucyJack · 15/06/2014 11:36

He might not like children in the garden disturbing his peace.

He may well not like it. But unfortunately that's his tough titties seeing as he's chosen to buy a flat in a block with a communal garden.

The OP and her children should not be made to feel as if they are the ones in the wrong simply for using their back garden.

wafflyversatile · 15/06/2014 11:38

I think that's quite plain from the rest of my post.

HappyAgainOneDay · 15/06/2014 11:46

One or two things to mention here:

If the front and back doors are always locked, how would emergency services get in?

So the downstairs neighbour owns his flat but the other three are HA? Could it be that he owned the original house and had it converted to flats, keeping one for himself? If so, he probably does think that it's all his.

OwlCapone · 15/06/2014 13:25

1. If the front and back doors are always locked, how would emergency services get in?

They'd kick the door in!

matildasquared · 15/06/2014 13:39

OP, if it makes you feel better, there was one neighbour behind our house about whom we'd been warned. Oh, don't mess with them, they think they're better than us because they have that big house. Etc.

I started chatting with them when I was out gardening and they're lovely. A little uptight around parking but eh, nothing we can't work out. The rumours were nonsense.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5