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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think STOP LOCKING THE DOOR!?

102 replies

MrsWinnibago · 14/06/2014 11:32

I live in a 1st floor flat. There are 4 flats in our building....2 on each level. On the ground floor are two separate and elderly couples...and on my floor there is me and my DH and our 2 DC and a girl who has a little baby.

It's like a large house that's been converted. We all share the front entrance and the back entrance. The back entrance leads to 4 little separate gardens...there's one "yard" which we all use for washing lines and then our gardens lead off this....they're like little allotments almost.

Anyway...the back door is the only access to the garden so my children go down there as does my cat.

My frigging neighbour keeps LOCKING the back door....putting it on the "snicket" as some people say.

This means my short DC can't get out and I constantly have to go down the stairs to unlock it. We're thoughtful and quiet neighbours...they're not in and out all day but like normal kids they do need regular access....WHY DOES HE KEEP FUCKING LOCKING IT???

I sent my smallest out to play...she's 6. I can see her out there from the kitchen window. Next thing I hear her yelling up "I can't get in!"

He'd fucking locked her out! It's one man....he's a bit bossy and a bit grumpy....why does he do this? He's lived her for thirty years so it could be habit I suppose...but this is a safe area and the front door is always locked so nobody could get through off the street....how shall I tackle this?

OP posts:

OwlCapone · 14/06/2014 23:12

Have you actually spoken to him about it?

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 14/06/2014 23:28

Unlocked doors would drive me insane, it is a security issue, burglars can hop over a fence you know. It's different if you live in a house and your open door means you'd see/hear anything suspicious but a ground floor flat where your security is at the mercy of inattentive neighbours is different. It must be very stressful for him. Not to mention doors which are only closed over as opposed to being properly shut bring cold air in, something which could be affecting his flat in cold weather if the door is near to his.

Original poster

MrsWinnibago · 14/06/2014 23:54

Meh If it is locked from the inside then no, you can't open it from the outside.

Even if you're an adult. He's never locked me out.

I daren't move his table! I'm not really in need of moving it. I will speak to him...I did once...when we first moved in but he's just carried on.

OP posts:

2rebecca · 15/06/2014 00:32

If the back garden area has a door that can only be locked and unlocked from one side then that sounds stupid for a communal space when you have someone who will lock it without checking there is no-one there. It wasn't clear that this was what the issue was earlier. I've not come across locks like that before. I'd be wanting the system changed and a lock that can be operated from both sides put in to stop people locking people in the garden.
I'd canvas the other occupants for their opinion on it and arrange a meeting of everyone in the flats.

matildasquared · 15/06/2014 01:01

Okay, then the stupid table is irrelevant if it's impossible to open the door from the outside once it's latched.

You all need a new door. That's a ridiculous set-up.

FabULouse · 15/06/2014 01:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SaucyJack · 15/06/2014 01:19

YANBU at all.

It doesn't matter how old he is or how long he's lived there, it is not ok under any circumstances to lock other tenants out of/into a communal space.

wafflyversatile · 15/06/2014 01:26

Ask the HA to fit a more suitable lock?

ImASillyBilly · 15/06/2014 01:28

Jesus, instead of getting all shirty on here, go and speak to your neighbour... Surely that's the first thing anyone would do?!

wafflyversatile · 15/06/2014 01:32

So is the door usually locked? Your kids go down and unlock it from the inside. Then when they are outside he comes along and locks it?

Actually is the door only lockable from the inside? I'd insist that the HA fit a more suitable lock.

For security it is sensible for the door to be lockable and understandable that residents might want it kept locked for security. (even if you think the garden is secure) But it is too easy for someone to get properly locked out if a resident comes out of their flat, notices the door is unlocked, locks it and goes out.

Other than that you could still just talk to him and find out what his pov is to try to resolve it in the meantime.

careeristbitchnigel · 15/06/2014 01:34

Maybe he has never had children and has no idea how his actions affect you. Or it's so long ago thT he's forgotten

Maybe he is worried about security. With 3 current files on "creeper burglaries" on my desk at work i don't blame him. You'd be surprised how resourceful and determined burglars can be when you have something they want to nick

Maybe he is an old curmudgeon and enjoys inconveniencing you

You'll never know until you speak to him. Wonderful as mnetters are, we lack the ability to mind read ;)

differentnameforthis · 15/06/2014 03:47

This means my short DC can't get out and I constantly have to go down the stairs to unlock it.

So you constantly have to let your children in...and the problem is? The solution is easy.

You take them down - let them out. They play. They want to come in, they shout up to you (as they have done so before, so you can hear them)

Or, you could try ASKING the guy to double check before he locks the door in future as you are worried he may inadvertently lock you out while the kids are in the flat.

differentnameforthis · 15/06/2014 03:52

Why? You think burglars are going to climb over the dense, slip in the back door, then when they come across YOUR OWN LOCKED DOOR they will smash it down? You must live in a right shit hole.

Plenty of people in all sorts of living accommodation get burgled. I was asleep when I was broken into. I didn't live in a shit hole. I didn't expect anyone would come into my home while I slept, thankfully my bedroom door was closed at the time, so they didn't come in.

I can tell you, over 25yrs later, it still has an effect on my over all feelings of safety in my own home.

You would be well placed not to minimise people's feelings on things you seem to know nothing about.

sashh · 15/06/2014 06:38

I'd go round with a cake and talk to him.

Tell hi about your child being locked out and that you are worried he may accidentally lock you out.

Suggest the foot stool and say it would mean he knew someone (you or dc) were outside if he sees it so please do not lock the door.

Suggest putting in a yale type lock low enough for your children to reach to get back in, they are rubbish for security but is a burglar going to come over a fence past 2 children?

When your children come back in they will knock on his door and politely tell him they will not be going out again that day so he can put the latch/lock/not sure what it is on

ivykaty44 · 15/06/2014 06:50

Op yanbu

How on earth can anyone enjoy there gardens or hang washing out if this man constantly puts the latch on so people can't get back in?

He is stopping people enjoying what they pay rent for.

If it was just a case of taking a key that would be slightly different but it isn't, as this man is purposely dead locking the door so it can't be opened from outside

Tell him he needs to stop as otherwise you will report him to the council

PoppyFleur · 15/06/2014 07:06

OP your request isn't unreasonable but you are not making it to the right people!

This person is your neighbour, as many people have suggested pop down with a token gift, break the ice & have a chat about the door. Stop working yourself up by posting on a forum & just speak with your neighbour. If he is unreasonable then you can justifiably complain!

OwlCapone · 15/06/2014 07:33

I think he is perfectly entitled to want the door locked. If you have to go down and let your children out then I'm afraid that's one of the downsides of not living with direct access into a garden.

Some kind of sign system so that your children don't get locked out of the building might work. I imagine he didn't do it deliberately.

oneperfectlimousine · 15/06/2014 07:34

Move the lock further down so the children can reach it?

Does he check to see if you are outside and only lock it when the kids and not you are out? If not then he probably will end up locking you out one day, I'd be quite annoyed about that.. Probably best solved by speaking to him about it though and see if he's being thoughtless or just unreasonable.

peggyundercrackers · 15/06/2014 07:52

YANBU - its not unreasonable to have an outside door to the building unlocked during the day - there is no real need for the door to be locked. its not really about security as he will have his own front door locked - some of the arguments on here are absolutely ridiculous.

I think I would take the lock off the door and throw it away and fit a more suitable lock in a place where your kids can open the door if they had a key.

insancerre · 15/06/2014 07:54

You need to report the lock to the HA as it is their responsibility not your neighbours
In the meantime get some walkie talkies

ExitPursuedByABear · 15/06/2014 08:01

I would be worried about a door that cannot be unlocked from the outside.

ivykaty44 · 15/06/2014 08:07

Its not about a locked door though that can opened by a key...this deliberate putting the latch on so no one can get in through the door and thus become stranded in the garden with no exit!

ipswichwitch · 15/06/2014 08:09

Surely he has a door to his own flat that's shut and lockable? Unless he's worried about burglars coming to pinch his flowers/ ornamental crap in the shared area. With that type of lock on the door it's pretty off that he's just locking it without checking people aren't in the garden already. I would see about getting it changed.

NannyR · 15/06/2014 08:13

You can buy a small plastic folding stool from places like home bargains that is only about two inches wide when folded. Surely there's enough room for one of those.

TheresLotsOfFarmyardAnimals · 15/06/2014 08:18

If you've spoken to him, he perhaps thinks that you should be supervising your children?

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