Mr Mrs Miss Ms ---Asking for your support

[PleaseCallMeMs]

"Ms" is a title that means "Miss or Mrs". It is the equivalent of "Mr", a title that can be used by any girl or lady that does not reveal anything about marital status. As some people put it, its short for "Mind your own businesS".

I have been trying for some time to get my bank to change my title from "Miss" to "Ms". When managing my account online, I cannot change my title directly. It defaults to "Miss" when I input my marital status as "with partner and children". I have emailed customer services a few times but got no reply. When I telephoned, the customer rep had to bring in "a specialist" to help out. They decided that I needed to take proof of my status to a branch to get my title changed!!!? When I asked what would be suitable proof that I'm a "Ms", they didn't know.

You may not think its a big deal, I'm not married and I should be happy with "Miss", but I really do find it offensive. I don't want to get married, but I'm in a committed relationship and I'm an older lady. I think its well within my rights to use the title of my preference and that our society should respect that. That's all I'm asking for. I agree it is only a little thing, but there is a deep issue here about the way we define women by their marital status. For example, a child will automatically know whether their female teachers are married or not, but won't have the same personal information to judge their male teachers. I believe that to create a truly equal society, it is important that we change the little things as well as the big things. Wouldn't it be better if, by default, when no information is known, a lady would be referred to as "Ms", instead of a guess being made about whether she is married or not? Those who wish to can, of course, use "Miss" or "Mrs". I'm not arguing that everyone should be forced to use "Ms". But those who want their marital status kept as their own business, should be able to do so.

There's been a few threads about "Ms" on Mumsnet in recent years. On one of them it was mentioned that someone should campaign about this. I thought I'd give it a go. So I've set up a twitter account in order to post about my experiences with the bank. I'd be glad if you would follow me, PleaseCallMeMs. I need a little momentum before I start to tweet to the bank's customer department. I'm hoping that if I get enough retweets, the bank will take notice! I'm new to twitter, so any advice will be gratefully received!!!

I'm a Ms. I think titles are old fashioned and it's only in official forms etc that I encounter it in relation to my name, I associate it with old people. I am forrin though, and we are known for our more casual approach to everything addressing people

I'm a Miss and ds has my name and I often correct the assumed Mrs. My 2 dsis were married - my little bastard (re - upthread) is the only one that has carried on the family name.

I like Miss because it sounds a bit quirkily old-fashioned and will suit my envisaged retirement as the odd old lady in the purple hat. And for some reason, possibly rooted in 1970s feminism, I am proud of my never-married status and like to declare it.

Ms isn't for me but if you want to be called it that's totally fine.

I agree that everyone should have a choice but I can't stand Ms. My marital status isn't a secret. It makes it sound as if Mrs is superior to Miss in some way.

I ask female friends who are getting married if they will be changing their name, partly because I am always hopeful that the response will be "no, of course not" and partly so that I don't make the error of calling them the wrong name afterwards. I wish a few more people had asked me so that they would get mine right, I always get a few birthday cards addressed to the non-existent Mrs DHSurname.

I became a Ms when still at school.

I really couldn't see why marital status mattered, and whenever possible used just initials and surname.

I've stayed a Ms throughout may adult life and it's never been a hassle (both in terms of people dealing with it, and also never having the admin fuss of changing it). I don't mind being Mrs DHname socially though, and some teachers will always call a female parent 'Mrs DCname'

I'm married, in my fifties and I'm a Miss. The problem with Ms - in my opinion - is that there are already too many titles for women, compared to men, so why make it worse by adding another one? Why not just stuck with the title you are born with - like men do?

Out of interest I had a look at my bank cards. I am Mrs Q Louisiana (married name) on my bank account (joint account Mrs Q Louisiana and Mr K O Louisiana) but Q Louisiana on the credit card issued by the same bank.
I not fussed, I am married, I use Mrs and my Dh's name, bu now I'm intrigued by the difference.

Hello Ian - I really hated those shredded wheat ads - you twat

What about my ceaseless walks for charity and the stylish tache and mullet combo which I loyally sported way past the point when it was fashionable?

I'm a Ms but when it comes to doing online forms when you get a choice of title I pick something different every time......I've been everything from Doctor to Miss with a 'lady' and 'baron' thrown in for good measure.....I will alternate between male and female titles because for the vast majority of these forms the prefix is irrelevant to what you are trying to do....

I support the campaign but I'm not on twitter.

I've been a Ms since my schooldays and had no problem with it. One bank did have me as Miss for a while (they had filled out my forms while I was sitting with an advisor and didn't ask for my title only marital status). They had no issue with changing it (contrary to the post by the bank worker above) but it took a few goes as changing it in one place meant my statements were right but my bank card was still wrong and so on. It all got sorted though.

Personally, I couldn't give a stuff what people call themselves.

There often seems to be a little bit of sneeriness involved when people talk about women choosing to change their name/title upon marriage though.

I am Msmaiden name but the school insists on calling me MrsMaiden name which is silly because that's what my mother is known as. The school havent accepted that I can be MsMaiden name and be married at the same time.

I was aware of this when i first arrived in UK. Always been Ms.

Ms - married, divorced, living with DP - hate the fact that strangers need to know my marital status.
In my first job back in the 90's I had to in put people's names into a database after they had written in to ask to be on the database. It really annoyed me that men in general wouldn't even bother with mr but just assume one would assume they we're make by default.
In the later stage of the job there were a lot of people who had written in as 'j smith' who were added to the database as Ms

I'm Ms at work. Miss elsewhere as I haven't been bothered to change it and it looks like the bank might throw a sulk if I try.
I hate Miss though. It makes me sound like I'm about 7.

Interestingly Ryanair only have a Ms option when you enter details. :)

Change your bank - you shouldn't have to justify yourself to change your title to Ms. Write a strongly worded letter to the highest level pointing out how stupid this is. I have been Ms for years would rather not even have a title - am C Mumbly on bank account with no fuss at all. DC have DP's surname - it's 2014, it should not be an issue what we want to be addressed as!

I have just followed you on twitter.
Always given my name as Ms Surname.
When I got married I did not change my name.
It annoys me when you speak to call centres and they ask 'Miss, Mrs?', they always seem surprised when I answer Ms.
Surely there must be lots if women who prefer it.
I really don't mind what choices other women make, I just feel that there should be a choice

I have a number of bank accounts and they can all handle a "Ms". What strange behaviour!

I find titles ridiculous. I am fine with my name and family name, thanks. If anyone insists, I choose Dr. Happy to send a copy of my PhD if they are bothered about it.

You should be able to use whatever title you choose. Personally I like being Mrs and, before I was married, Miss and used to correct anyone who called me Ms.

I agree. I hate ms I'm not a bumblebee. I'm a miss till married then mrs after. It's insulting to say mssssssssssss

I'm with the folks who are over the whole title thing but if I have to put something it has always been Ms. for as long as I can remember picking my own title. My young daughter is always Ms. too (if some authority requires it).

I am constantly agog at people thinking Ms. is anything other than the sensible modern option. But can also appreciate that we should be free to pick whatever we want.

I would support a campaign but I'm not on twitter, are you gong to use some other social network?

Love the bumblebee comparison!

I agree but am surprised. I've been using Ms for years and years and everything has Ms on it. From my bank stuff to my loyalty cards. Never an issue.

The explanation on the bank fraud thing is strange too. I have some shares inherited from a relative that my dinosaur of a df put into my name as Miss. The bank have always accepted them and similarly when people decide I must be Mrs, they've accepted those too.

The title really should be decorative rather than integral to your identity

I'm totally in a quandary with this one, on one hand I hate the Miss/Mrs thing labelling us, however Ms isn't actually short for anything and that offends the pedant in me, lol

I'd be furious at the bank if they didn't change it though.