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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not tell my friend which hotel we are staying in?

61 replies

TiramiSue · 12/06/2014 22:52

We (me dh and dc) are off to Orlando in 2 weeks. We are really excited about it, have never gone to USA since kids arrived 14 years ago, and the kids are beside themselves with excitement.

I have a really good friend who i meet once a week for a coffee. We get on really well, share a lot of stuff, confide in each other etc.

However, my friend is also really friendly with another lady, who i don't like all that much, mainly because this other woman is really nosey, wants to know everyones business, and talks about everyones business to anyone who will listen.

I know my friend wouldn't deliberately talk about me, but she gets together with this other lady quite a bit, they live next to each other and are always popping in to each other, sharing a bottle of wine, and i know this lady pumps my friend for info on other people. She is obsessed with other peoples lives, cars holidays what money other people have etc. my friend would be very open about everything and have no issue sharing details with this lady.

My friend has asked me several times, quite pointedly, where we are staying on holiday, like are we in a villa or hotel, or if hotel which hotel etc this is not like her to keep asking this so i think its because the other woman is constantly asking her these things. I have put her off by being vague and saying my dh booked all our accommodation but now its just beginning to get awkward. I don't want to tell her where we are staying because my friend will just go back and tell this woman who will broadcast it around the very small town we live in, and i am a very private person and just don't want everyone in my town knowing everything about our holiday and where we stay, because then they can work out how much we paid for our holiday, and some people will think we are really rich (its a nice hotel we are in, but dh has worked like a dog this last few years to save for this so its not like we are rolling in it).

I could tell my friend and ask her to keep this to herself, but with the best will in the world, i know it will come out over a bottle of wine with this other lady, plus she would get offended and think i don't trust her.

Should i just make up a fictional hotel and let the other lady spend ages googling a hotel that doesn't exist??

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 12/06/2014 22:54

yes, that sounds like the best plan.
Do you live in a very small town :o

nilbyname · 12/06/2014 22:54

Yes, fictional! Or say your staying I a mix of places as you are travelling around a bit.

If your mate is banging on about it, is she on the level, why is she is so persistent!?

AmarantaBuendia · 12/06/2014 22:55

Lie!

DevonCiderPunk · 12/06/2014 22:57

Gosh yes have some fun and say that you're travelling in a barouche-landeau and wouldn't dream of summering without one

FannyFifer · 12/06/2014 22:58

Find the most exclusive expensive place to stay, like, off the scale VIP only and tell get that.
Might as well get them really gossiping.

FunkyBoldRibena · 12/06/2014 22:59

You say 'erm, does it matter?' And just don't answer. If she keeps asking tell her to drop it, it's getting weird now.

ExitPursuedByABear · 12/06/2014 22:59

Lies, lies damn lies.

Dubjackeen · 12/06/2014 22:59

Oh yes, I know the type I'd combine bits out of two names of actual hotels, neither of which is your actual hotel, and pass it on. Grin

Dubjackeen · 12/06/2014 23:02

Or make something up that is actually a bit rude when sounded out like No Zee Park E.R. Wink

wafflyversatile · 12/06/2014 23:02

google for motel murder orlando and if you find a cheap one where there has been a murder fairly recently say you're staying there.

DevonCiderPunk · 12/06/2014 23:20

I reckon you are staying here

The only problem, tell your friend, is that you might have to accept one of the smaller suites...

AmarantaBuendia · 12/06/2014 23:22

google for motel murder orlando and if you find a cheap one where there has been a murder fairly recently say you're staying there.

Grin
Suttonmum1 · 12/06/2014 23:27

tell her you have vouchers your dh has picked one of those unnamed secret hotels and you won't know until you get there.

weekendninja · 12/06/2014 23:29

I can't see what the problem is. Are you usually so guarded with the information that you give you friend on the off chance she may mention things in passing to this woman?

Also, does it really matter if this woman knows what you paid for your holiday...she can probably guess what you paid for other things like house/car without even asking. As for broadcasting it to the whole town, they will either think she us a loon or not care.

DevonCiderPunk · 12/06/2014 23:31

It doesn't matter at all what she thinks, weekendninja

but it is always fun to play with people whose knickers are so clearly knottable!

Original poster
TiramiSue · 12/06/2014 23:39

Ah thanks guys your replies have had me in stitches, i can't decide now on whether to go with a really luxurious 5star place or murder motel brilliant, these replies are a tonic!!

As for being guarded, well yes, previous experience of hearing my own business repeated back to me by this lady has made me very guarded about what i tell my friend. And no they can't guess what we paid for our house cos we bought it 15 years ago for a song.

Yes its a small town, and unfortunately people do spend a lot of time and energy discussing other peoples income and lifestyles, i know that because i have had the misfortune to have to listen to it from time to time at social gatherings.

OP posts:
Original poster
TiramiSue · 12/06/2014 23:42

DevonCider i think i ail go with that one, Bonnet Creek at £3700 for a week, nice!! Grin

OP posts:
WallyBantersJunkBox · 12/06/2014 23:46

Yes but be really vague still - something to do with a hat and a river....something creek.....

I mean make the nosy blighter work for it a bit....

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 12/06/2014 23:48

You're camping and you've hired two tandem bicycles to get about
You're doing a house swap with a Miami family but they've asked about your gun cabinet so you're a little concerned about it all now
DHis keeping it a secret which is driving you all mad.
It's a LastMin.com booking so you won't know until you get there
The kids made you promise to book a murder motel
You've booked a comedy Japanese style lurrve hotel but your hoping the kids won't realised their Disney themed room swing has other purposes
You've rented a winnebago
My personal favourite...
Why? Where exactly are you going on holiday this year so I can figure out how much it's costing you?

Dubjackeen · 13/06/2014 00:06

Oh I just know the type. It would make me wary of the friend also, tbh.
If asked again, look a bit blank, and say oh I know you asked me before...then change the subject.
If you keep doing that, she will have to give up.

weekendninja · 13/06/2014 00:08

It's just you said she was a really good friend. All friendships differ I guess, but for me, my exchanges with really good friends are based on general stuff but personal stuff too. That's what makes them really good friends.

Devon, I agree it doesn't matter what she thinks, but for the friend to always receive vague answers it must be a bit strange.

OP, maybe you should talk to your friend and ask her not to relay information about you? She would surely understand.

wobblyweebles · 13/06/2014 00:16

Tell her you're staying in the Alfond Inn because you are friends with the Alfonds.

Iflyaway · 13/06/2014 00:16

Goodness me, thank god I don, t live in a small town.

You need to get brazen and hussy Grin

Have a great time tell them you, ll send them a postcard

Original poster
TiramiSue · 13/06/2014 00:18

Treadsoftly that is hilarious Grin

Dubjackeen are you from Dublin by any chance, i am too, though no longer live there now.

Weekend you are right in a way, but the thing is i do share a lot with my friend, about many things. But when it comes to holidays, trips, anything that involves how much cash we have spent, then i am wary, as though she means well, i know that this other lady can get whatever info about me out of her,as i have asked her to keep certain things to herself before, and then found out this lady knew all this stuff that my friend was meant to keep to herself.

I could have fallen out with her, but at the end of the day, in every other way she is a lovely girl and a good and supportive friend for me. Now, i tell her most stuff, with the exception of things like this, things i don't want the nosey one to know.

Its also annoying that she has asked me a couple of times now, even though i have ducked the question. i mean, i wouldn't keep asking someone for details of their hotel if it appeared they weren't inclined to tell me, in fact i probably wouldn't even think to ask in the first place!

OP posts:
weekendninja · 13/06/2014 01:04

I see. In that case I would pick an expensive hotel and let them talk. You and your DH will work hard for what you have...never be afraid to let it show.

Have a fantastic holiday.