AIBU to think DP should have just not said anything to friend with very advanced toddler?

[Caff2]

My DP took our kids (one a teen, one coming up for two) to the park this evening and met my friend who has a toddler 7 months older than ours, so 2 years 7 months. She came to speak to him and they passed the time etc, and he said "Oh, I haven't seen X (her toddler) for ages - it goes so quickly! I remember when you guys first came round to visit when DS2 was born, and we couldn't believe how grown up he was!"

She replied "Yes. Everyone always thinks he's really grown up because he's so much more advanced than other children, he was talking fluently by 18 months"

DP replied that he didn't mean that - he's forgotten how much bigger they grew so quickly as babies!

I really like my friend, and yes, she does talk a lot about how advanced her toddler is, but she is right for one thing, his speech is very good, and I'm not bothered for another as they all do things at different rates, and DS1 who also spoke fluently very early is very middling at school.

I think DP was raining on her parade a bit.

No he wasn't... He wasn't talking about the child's 'advanced speech'

was she cross?

Nah well done to your DH for nipping this in the bud.

It's a non issue as far as I can see. Why waste your energy over this?!

I don't think he was too bad really, he was clarifying what he meant rather than deliberately taking her down a peg or two?

FWIW my dd spoke very early too - normal sentences by 18 months and is also very middling at school. Ho hum.

To be fair he wasn't being rude, just honest.

I don't think it's a particularly bad lesson for any parent to learn that not everyone thinks their child is as wonderfully amazing as they do.

He said he was just clarifying, but also said he thought she was being a bit of an arse and when she reacted a bit huffily, so he realised how she'd taken it, he wasn't too bothered!

I actually get very hurt by this having three dc with special needs who haven't met developmental milestones I find it very insensitive.

Like bragging to the world it only took you one month to get pregnant.

Or bragging that you had a drug free birth.

It's inconsiderate of people facing difficulties. But maybe I'm over sensitive.

Just sounds like he reacted honestly rather than diplomatically. Is anyone actually upset? If not, forget it

I think she was a bit put out from what he said. She reiterated that his speech was Very Unusually Advanced.

She's right, by the way, he has learnt to talk very early.

So?

If she genuinely thinks that everyone is just taking every opportunity to tell her how amazing her child is, then it would probably be better for all concerned if everyone clarified any misunderstandings like this.

Why should your partner have pretended he meant something he didn't just because your friend gets offended by a completely inoffensive comment?

He shouldn't I guess, but I don't like hurting anyone's feelings if I can help it. I think I would have just said "Oh right" (or something equally erudite )

Meh. It's not particularly advanced. Good but not freakily so.

She's going to learn the hard way that the whole world doesn't think her child is a genius.

Oh dear.

A mum at group said to me the HV said her DD was advanced. I still wince now, not because of her saying it, but I imagine her realsing at some point what a twat she sounded, was so pfb so v much.

even if he is really clever, he is going to meet someone cleverer at some point. it is just not done to boast about it. matter of fact talking about it in context, fine, pushing it into conversations not fine.

Oh dear. I do think your friend needs to be prepared that he may not always be that advanced, sometimes everyone else catches up. I worry that parents like that will be a bit disappointed.

I probably woyld have sai the same OP, Im never quick enough to think of anything when Im thinking 'wow' upstairs, err ok would be my response.

My youngest and oldest were talking very fluently at 18 mos and writing full words by the time they started school nursery. They aren't geniuses. My eldest goes to a grammar school and does well but so do thousands of kids. She sounds like she thinks here child is very 'special', as he gets older either people will tire of her constant reminders about hid cleverness or he'll average out milestone wise like mine did. She probably likes to reiterate how advanced he is because it gives he a bit of a buzz. Your dh was totally fine don't worry.

Well, he might actually turn out to be a genius, I guess. But I think DP thought it was a bit off to kind of boast about him, and imply our toddler was sadly NOT so advanced and, even though he didn't mean to piss her off with his comment, didn't feel the need to take it back either when he realised how she'd taken it!

Omg lots of typos sorry!

Some DC who talk very early end up in middle sets at very ordinary comps. Others will do really exceptionally well at school. I just think she is very proud of him, she does talk about it quite a lot, but she's not doing any harm really.

She needs to get out more....

No but my DS walked very very early but I didn't shoe horn that into conversations. I was proud, sure, but mindful that I would sound like a twat or potentially upset someone if I kept going on about it.