To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

Sorry to be blunt... My first thought is the parents are highly strung and weird... The type for whom no school is adequate.

Then I feel so sorry for the DCs.

It is very refreshing to read home educators being honest about home education not always being the right thing, and questioning parents' (and their own) motives.

The only family I know who took their children out of school were doing so for spurious reasons and did a crap job of it (thankfully they realised this - or rather realised that home ed is harder work than getting their kids to school in the morning - after a year). I'm bright enough to realise that for some, it's a positive move. I don't think I've ever read a home ed thread before this where home educators have acknowledged that sometimes it's very much not a positive thing.

I didn't detect a subtext, but perhaps that's just me. 'Leftie' has come up so often on here, and in real life, that, if we're keeping to stereotypes, the DM would not be likely to be our newspaper of choice, surely?

I've been a home educator for some 17 years (and my sister was home educated for a while) so I know something about home educators too.

fwiw I occasionally reassess our son's schooling. I'd hope most people would at least give a cursory thought as to whether there's a doable alternative every now and then, be that another school, extra or less pressure, that kind of thing.

A lot of people that I liked did it and I could agree with many of their reasons as I share many of their views on the problems of education/ society, raising vegan children, etc... being a bit of an anarchist rebel myself.

but I was totally against home education.
because I think children are missing out on that part of being at school where they learn to interact with many people - teachers and children.

At school when my child was taught religious views that I don't agree with, or he was in trouble for something he didn't do, or he saw others getting away with stuff and generally put up with things he didn't like - I could tell him that these are experiences are common throughout life. Dealing with these things is part of the learning process.
Yes being independent and responsible away from mum is part of the learning process.

HOwever - due to various reasons my oldest son was home educated for 4 terms.

And now I understand there may be reasons that make homeducation a good TEMPORARY solution for some situations.

I also know of others who were home educated temporarily for various reasons including (dis)ability issues and bullying.

The number of children who are home educated for a period is surprisingly high and has being growing in recent years so I think there may be far greater acceptance these days.

But I do not think it is ideal for the hole of childhood.

whole

There are some people not doing a great job, that's true. The worst of those seem to have been picked up on by the LA (those who are a bit socially isolated I find) thankfully.

The Brooke's family were HEing their own children- they were just funding it by fostering. I am assuming it is the foster children who had to go to school in order for them to have the lifestyle they wanted for their own. However- I can't find answers.

MrsTara that's interesting, the anarchist rebel bit and the being away from mum. I suspect we have a very similar outlook (although I'm not vegan. And I work for The Man these days )

On the one hand, supporting school and being an old punk seems counterintuitive, but on the other being quite so in control of one's child's life by HEing seems pretty oppressive. Bear in mind that my only IRL experience of an HE family was a bad one (lazy, controlling twat of a father). That and the Duggars (controlling twat of a father again). I don't for a moment think that either represents all HE families.

It was both our ideas. He wanted it more than me.

I am a lone parent now though and do it all as he works away a lot. He does provide funding though for the lovely poster who was worried I might be funding it on benefits

Atia I thought it was odd because surely the foster carers' choice of education for their children is irrelevant, it's not like they always move schools, although I know that they do in certain situations.

I guess maybe if the argument was that the HE parent has less time to focus on the foster child, that might make more sense. Such as how you can't foster/adopt if you have very small children because your time and attention is taken up with them.

*"Yes some HErs would refuse to participate on principle-but as a rule, these are high profile, well known people in the community and they are low risk.

That comment is extemely naive. Are you suggesting that well known and high profile people never abuse children?" *

No. Of course that's not what I'm saying. That's really taking my comment out of context, I'm afraid.

I'm saying that the people who will refuse to participate on priniciple will tend to be vocal about that and so will be known.

My argument for a token funding for HErs is a response to the idea that HErs are "hidden". I'm saying, if you want a simple way to get HErs to out themselves, don't make it so bloody unpleasant for those who do, rather, as many countries do, offer them something. My guess is that £500 a kid is probably pretty cheap compared to money spent on detection, not to mention being aware of kids who might be at risk.

And the flip side to this is that, IME of the HE community, while there will be a vocal minority speaking out against it, in the main those philosophically opposed to it will be high enough profile that they will be known.

TBH the fact that the government isn't considering a scheme like this, that would attract a lot of HErs (though there would be a huge stigma initially about participating), which is known to work in other countries like Canada, suggests to me that they are not that worried about HE and abuse.

I'd like to ask a question of those who feel "so sorry for the children.".

First, why? What is it you are sorry about? What do you feel they are missing out on?

And second what is this based on? Do you know that they are missing out on those things?

I've said this so many times now, but this time two years ago I'd have felt similarly. Life chucks us curve balls

kim in our case it was my idea and my DH supports it because he can see that it is the best thing for our dd, he chips in with bits of science or maths if I need him to . I've always been a SAHM so it's made no difference from that regard .

It is impossible to be brief on why I feel sorry for them, there are so many different scenarios I need an essay! I will try but I am going out- no time now.

Mammuzza I agree with every single word you put there. I can't put it more elegantly than that.

The HE community pretty much circles the wagons. If you're in, you're in. No-one dares say out loud that maybe autonomous education is incompatible with an NT child who can't read at 11. I'm not sure anyone even thinks it. Even I was independently reading by 7, and I'm the girl who ended up having to cram at least two years of maths, if not five, into four months in order to do GCSE.

I must reiterate that two weeks for a GCSE is insufficient. No chance! Not if you're actually coming from the position of no knowledge. It's not just me! I've taken 5 GCSEs now from a position of as pretty much close to zero as possible, and each time, I've been the only one without some previous knowledge to complete the course.

I had always been a stay at home mum and when our youngest came along everything fell into place and I knew the life I had led up to then was in preparation for being his mum. He is the youngest of 5. Everything just fell into place and I knew, this is it, this is what its been about. I was average at school and college but when it came to his Autism I was fantastic, I had an instinct for it, and because no one would ever know him as well as we did, I did HE. For him school would have not been the best option by far.

Would I have done HE with my other children ? God no. I wouldn't even have known where to begin and they all had very traditional private school educations. In fact I think I would rather have shot myself than attempt it for even a few months.

My first thoughts is: noway could I do that or want to! My dd age7 has ASD and goes to a fantastic Autistic school, she is thriving there. Noway could I give her that level of specialist education that she is receiving, it is healthy for her to be with people outside the home.

I was surprised though to hear a few pages back that someone reckoned a higher level GCSE in German contained so much stuff, I got a B in GCSE French but my level was barely conversational, I could have reeled off a whole lot of irrelevant stuff about the trousers being green and not long enough but not a lot about tenses or vocabulary in more than a few areas. That was in 2004 so not long ago.

My son never had any lack of interaction with people outside of the home. Quite the contrary in fact. Whether he was doing his shopping or going to the stables daily to look after his donkeys or to ride, he was and still is a very big part of the local community. Even when Im out without him Im always being asked 'where is DS'?

He's a very well travelled young man and its only this last year we've had to put a stop to his international travels due to additional mental health issues that have developed over the last two years. Its a great shame because it means he will never go on the Orient Express or The Trans Siberian Railway which were two things he really wanted to do of late but its safe to say its about the only two things we've not been able to make possible for him. And and considering the level of his difficulties I can honestly say Ive have never come across anyone else like him who's done the things he has. Our motto was always - where there's a will there is a way. We would never say it can't happen, we always said how do we make this happen. Sadly its no longer true even if we travel with 3 other people accompanying us.

He is also part of a very large extended family, and was always part and parcel of his siblings having people around.

My son has been exposed to things and had experiences many NT people have never had because doing HE does not mean that a person never leaves the house or they live in isolation.

We're off out tomorrow for breakfast to a local 5 star hotel, my son wasn't born knowing how to have breakfast there, and the people who work there weren't born knowing how to have him there. Its taken a lot of hard work and practice on everyones part to make it possible for him to go there after he found it on the internet years ago and he decided - I'll have some of those croissants and sausages they're showing in the picture.

He is a steam train fanatic and has traveled the length and breadth of Britain visiting heritage railways, and London is his favourite stomping ground in the Uk - he is particularly fond of trying to catch a squirrel in Hyde Park before nipping up to Hamleys in the hope there's a new Thomas Train out.

He works out with a personal trainer 3 times per week, and he can read, write, cook, clean, wash, do laundry, do his shopping, make his shopping list, enjoy life all things considered, and though he lives at home he is in dependent in that he manages his day and general care. He is however 2 to one care at all times but even so - he does his thing and no one picks up after him or treats him like a little prince.

My son is fab.

If the child is primary school age then my instinctive feeling will be something along the lines of 'interesting' as through primary I think there are many different approaches which will all have a very similar outcome.

It is different if the child is of secondary school age. It is at secondary school that students are really learning many lessons:

• passions for subjects which are quite alien to the parents
• academic rigour
• doing things because they provide the foundation for further study even if they are a bit dull

IMO any teacher being only one chapter ahead in the book is potentially going to let students down. They dont know the subject, they dont know if a student's question shows a real depth of understanding or evidence that they have completely missed the point.

What happens if the teacher isnt very good? In a state school I know who to complain to and how to complain (I have done so). What happens if I am the failing teacher. I am sure that the teacher I complained about believed she was doing her best. Will I even know I am failing?

PP talked about doing chemistry experiments in the kitchen. Where is the learning of good lab practice? Where is the promise of there being more to know? The fume hood? The spectrometer? The mysterious kit and smells which may excite a passion for chemistry.

On the other hand

I can understand a number of scenarios which would make the attending of mainstream school difficult if not impossible for the student.

So long as it is the student's problem which is helped by HE then fine. Not fine if its the parent's issue.

:) granny you sound ace.

"IMO any teacher being only one chapter ahead in the book is potentially going to let students down."

Every PGCE qualified teacher is qualified to teach any subject and in the state sector, can be expected to do so. My BIL is an art teacher but could be expected to teach maths, for example. In that situation he may well be only one chapter ahead.