To ask what is your instinctive response to hearing a child is Home Educated?

[NickiFury]

I am really interested to hear general opinions from everyone and hoping for some from professionals such as teachers etc. I really want to know what people think because in the main in RL, the response is overwhelmingly negative. I've had people threaten to call SS on me because ds isn't in school, been told it's "weird" and seen this face a lot.

Now to me home education is a totally normal thing but I suspect this is only because we are immersed in this world and know lots of other HE families (you'd be surprised how many are out there).

What has made me think about this was a friend telling me today that people in our community know of me and ds without ever having met us because we are notorious as that woman who doesn't send her kid to school .

Btw I also have a child who does go to school and is doing well but no one seems to gossip about that.

So what would YOU think if you someone told you their child is home educated?

Thanks .

That was a horrible post, lilla

Very few parents have the 'luxury' of sitting at home for sixteen years, or even six.

Oh, and btw my mum was a single parent and most of the time had very little money, but she still managed to give me an incredible childhood.

I think school is a lot more than just academics.
Socialisation is very important.
Team games in Sports lesson - P. E. and Football/ Hockey.
Group Project work.
Fun time at play time.
These are so important for children.
I wouldn't like my dc to be home educated.

whynot you've obviously completely misunderstood - I don't disapprove of parents who have to go to work, and I'm not saying HE is for everyone. I'm saying it's a shame that a lot of parents who want to HE can't because the government doesn't support it, therefore they have to work.

My mum was only able to do it because her grandma died and left her a house, but like I said, she didn't have a lot of money, just what she earned part-time while I was at my granny's or a friend's house a couple of hours a day.

I don't think I did misunderstand the tragedy of children in nurseries with staff seeing their first steps and hearing their first words, actually.

I don't, to be honest, see why the government should support HE. I don't mind people doing it, but like all other lifestyle choices it needs to be self funded.

eeling is that kids deserve to have a bit more freedom, do what they want for a bit, learn by doing, travel about, see different places, meet a wider variety of people and people of different ages and have more time to play and be creative, not to mention spend time with the people who they are closest to: their families

All things that my children do. And they go to school.

I do think that some home educators have a very skewed view on school and seem to think that at age 3 they start, lined up on desks being lectured at.

It's just not like that. Learning is through play and creativity in the early years. Many schools have fantastic extra curricular opportunities available...plus parents still have the opportunity to search out extra opportunities outside of school.

I don't, to be honest, see why the government should support HE. I don't mind people doing it, but like all other lifestyle choices it needs to be self funded.

Why should parents be expected to send their kids to school if they don't want to? If the government is providing money for education, why does it matter if it's going to schools or both schools and home-schoolers?

Obviously, like sigyn says, HE should be regulated to an extent but when I was young we had regular visits from an education inspector.

As for what I said about young kids going to nursery and their parents not seeing them very much, if you want to take offence then there's nothing I can do about it. I do think it's a shame for the parents, but I'm not blaming them. I understand that people have to work, I just wish maternity/paternity leave was more generous - as I'm sure a lot of other parents do!

Um, social involvement with the rest of the home ed. community isn't compulsory. You can home-ed and isolate your child from the home-ed community! Sure, most parents don't, and go to Brownies, Badgers, Drama, Mandarin Chinese, but then most parents don't abuse their children.

Secondly, as has been repeatedly been pointed out by people who aren't me and can't be accused of projecting , home ed. parents are very accepting and polite to each other, because they have to be. It's not really set up to judge other parents, even if they should be judged.

I am not saying home-education causes abuse, but that when abusive families decide to home-educate, there is less potential for it to be noticed.

What was horrible about Lilla's post. Certainly no more horrible than hundreds of posts on this thread against HE. Good to see someone who is a grown up giving their account and redressing the balance. It was opinionated not horrible, like most other posts on this thread.

Yes some HErs would refuse to participate on principle-but as a rule, these are high profile, well known people in the community and they are low risk.

That comment is extemely naive. Are you suggesting that well known and high profile people never abuse children?

Hmm - how hard is it would be my repsonse.

Then I'd wonder if it was a conscious choice or more forced by circumstances.

It appealed to me when eldest was literally starting days past her 4 birthday - however DH had concerns about isolation and she's done well in her school overall.

We are moving to area with a massive shortage of places in primary school. DH see how much extra work we have to do on the basics - so while the DC get a lot out of their current school there is a lot of time before and after helping them. So suddenly home schooling looks like an option - especially if first move might not be to final location.

People have insisted this area doesn't have a shortage of place - with no actual knowledge of area - that it never happens that DC could be given places in completely different schools - despite fact I know people this has happened to.

When I mention Home schooling for a bit people tell me its illegal that we would never be able to cover all topics - we have A-level in degrees and other qualifications in many different area so most would be covered and these days there are so many resources on-line we'd find something.

Plus we’d like them in secondary school – specialist knowledge would be more important then we feel. I think it could be quite a positive experience for a limited period of time. Plus we’d take steps to socialism them – which may well be easier rather than fitting them round school day and homework.

I think it a better option then putting them into a school for 6 month till permanent move or putting them in first school that has places. It's not the norm so people are against it for that reasons.

I already experinced with two of my 3 year old durring times they weren't in nursury having strangers come up and demand to know why they weren't in school. So image there is lots of that with home schooling.

The government fund school places and working parents through WTC and CTC. So people talking about lifestyle choices are either being deliberately disingenuous, or they are looking around for justifications and failing to think through the realities of their argument.

The state supports parenthood and the education of children because it is in the interests of people in general and the state in particular to do so. As it stands, HEing parents are currently saving the state the cost and responsibilities associated with schooling and in loco parentis. The economic case isn't at all straightforwardly that this costs the state even in the case that there is an adult on benefits for some of the school aged years - and it's really only necessary that a parent is there full time in early years if you dare part of the HE community joining groups and doing reciprocal care.

LemonSquares If you have a primary-aged DD and you would like to be able to go out during school hours, without accusations, gingham dresses were great. My mother used to buy them in charity shops and put me in them. People would assume in shops that I was out of school early because of a dentist appointment or whatever.

Thanks nicki

tilly, that's a clever way of getting one over on the LA truancy patrol.

What would be better IMO, and would avoid getting the child to collude in a lie, would be for the LA to have records of which children are home educated (maybe they do already?), for the parent to say "She / he is home educated" and for the EWO to do a quick check to confirm and move on.

690 post ons here and Lilla yours is the first one that I have wanted to respond to.

I'd like you to explain how HE would be affordable on a large scale to any government. I'd would have loved not to have sent the children to nursery and be to be at home everyday when schools finishes, but the reality is that for many it is just not affordable. Who would pay for this luxury?

The digs from you about first steps etc were pretty vile to be honest.

(I am not anti-HE and have considered it for DS2, but it is something we would have to pay for as a family).

Obviously, like sigyn says, HE should be regulated to an extent but when I was young we had regular visits from an education inspector.

To what extent do you think home education should be regulated? Who would pay for the regulation process? How much money should be given to a parent to home educate their child and would the accounts be scrutinised in the same way as school accounts? Who would do the accounts? If the home-schooled child is eligible for FSM, would the government be asked to pay for that, too?

Not goading, just thinking that just saying parents who home educate should be funded in the same way as children who go to school is nowhere near as straightforward as it might appear.

I have no vested interest either way - my youngest finished school forever yesterday

"LemonSquares If you have a primary-aged DD and you would like to be able to go out during school hours, without accusations, gingham dresses were great. My mother used to buy them in charity shops and put me in them. People would assume in shops that I was out of school early because of a dentist appointment or whatever."

Or that you were truanting! The school uniformers are the children we've seen stopped by patrols or questioned in the library, whilst we (in uniform of Boden ) have walked by with no problems.

We have LA lists here, Suburban. Also some people also carry membership cards from HE organisations to show when necessary. They usually quote the education act

Archer, it's not a dig at anyone. suburb, I'm not claiming to know anything about how the government could fund HE or suggest how to put it into practice. I'm simply saying that in an ideal world parents would have the opportunity to spend more time with their kids and if they wanted to HE it would be easier.

I'd would have loved not to have sent the children to nursery and be to be at home everyday when schools finishes, but the reality is that for many it is just not affordable - this is exactly the same point I made!

"The digs about first steps were pretty vile". Have you READ the rest of the thread and the near constant negativity and labelling of "weird" or "odd"? There's about three good examples of a positive outcome for HE kids if you believe THIS thread. And yet nearly every response has been polite and respectful. I think you've got off lightly if THATS the only thread you want to respond to and are upset by .

I HE my dd(15) , due to her illness it was a decision that was best for us .I don't think it should be supported by the government .Also ,where do people who get asked why their children aren't in school live ? I'm in the SE and my dd has been out of full time education for 3 yrs and we /she have never been asked .We aim to do some GCSEs and feel that between myself ,my DH and my elder child have more than enough knowledge to do it ,if there's anything we can't do we get a tutor. If I had a younger child I would definitely HE from the very start .

I wanted to add that throughout my childhood I was abused (physically and emotionally) and neglected by my alcoholic stepfather and mother who I am no longer in contact with. This was never picked up on at school, and I'm not sure how it could have been. They came across as very respectable. School did not help me.

And there was no danger of them ever wanting to home educating me. The idea is laughable. They cared, as in I would get into trouble, if I didn't get top grades and to make sure I had grades to be able to leave home for university. But that's as far as their interest in my education went.

I think that part of the suspicion that surrounds HE is because a lot of it is done behind closed doors.
So authorities have very little way of knowing what goes on.

When a child goes to school, it talks.
Or even doesnt talk, which again can be a sign of something untoward.
And may have bruises or whatever.

I think that I am still right in saying that a parent who HEs is not allowed to become a foster parent.
That was correct up to at least 6 years ago. Probably still very much the case.

If you remeber, Daniel Pelka went to school...