To pump in our bed in the middle of the night?

[Twoplusboys]

Ds is nearly 5 weeks and After some latch problems, I'm expressing breastmilk. I pump at every feed for the next feed.

He feeds at 4am every night so I feed him and then I pump for 10mims for the morning feed.

Dp is just after waking and freaking out at the noise of the pump. He thinks it's unfair to pump in out room (with noisy pump) when he has to be up for work and that I should go downstairs to do it. He has just stormed out into ds bed saying I'm selfish!

I think I'm doing it for the sake of ds and he should just put up for 10 mins each night or get some ear plugs. I do all night feeds. He's only done one since birth.

Aibu??

In scotland Pumping has 2 other meanings

Sleep is massively important for both of you at this stage of parenting. If the pumping in the bedroom is resulting is two of you having disrupted sleep, when only one of you needs to have disrupted sleep then you should both work out how you are going to resolve that. You going downstairs is one option. Him sleeping elsewhere is another. Have the conversation during the daytime though - a 4am debate will not be very constructive

Op you sound very thoughtful to me from your recent post, I think you have a good plan there. I wonder could he not do one or two of the 4am feeds though? You must be exhausted. Pumping is blooming hard work. However I agree that there seems little point in you both having to be awake. Hope you can work it out.

Really? OP is five weeks in, she is feeding the baby through expressing milk and formula feeds. Whilst DP does nothing? I expressed for six months with my first, we had a great bit of team work going, I would go get the pre expressed milk, DP heat the milk with bottle warmer and feed the baby, plus changed her, whilst I used the double pump and went downstairs washed all the bits and re sterilised all the equipment.

It was really really hard work, and if Op's DP is complaining about it, then
He should find somewhere else to sleep. Why should the OP have to decamp to somewhere more uncomfortable and inconvenient, whilst going through all of this as well? All he has to do is go lie down and sleep somewhere else. OP pumping is extremely hard work, hats off to you for doing a sterling job. I am sure DP needs his sleep, but I do not think I could have sustained pumping without my DP's help.

The one doing the feeding and pumping also having to traipse all over the house for fear of waking DP from his beauty sleep, seems all wrong to me. He needs to help out, or be the one sleeping elsewhere. YANBU

I used to pump downstairs. Though also, dh used to sometimes wind the dts while I pumped, so he did at least help out a bit. So I would feed, he wind then went back to sleep, I pumped, then went back to bed. I hope your new solution works, or I do think you may as well pump elsewhere since he doesn't need to be up.

I agree iwill. Especially as this is dc3! I can't see how her dh can be working much harder just because he is in paid employment.

I laughed at 'pump' too!

Zen - that says room temperature 4-8 hours.

But warm room is only 3-4 hours. So if your bedroom gets a bit warm in summer it would be better to pop it in the fridge.

Over 27 degrees at night is very hot for the UK!

I think YABU, I also did exclusive pumping for my first dc and I always did it downstairs, it never crossed my mind not to! What skin is it off your nose? I needed the kitchen anyway - to put the milk in a little bag, date and time on it and I froze, but the least you would need to do is put it in the fridge and then wash up the pump and resteralise?!

I was going to say go downstairs until I read that you have 3 children and your DH is out most of the time including 2-3 evenings a week playing sport. I'd pump in bed - he can wear earplugs. A manual pump is much slower than an electric one so although you might be quieter, you're going to be awake longer

The title of your question has had DH and I rolling around laughing.

In these parts pump means fart.

Sorry I also think YABU and it is a bit dog in the mangerish. It sounds like your DH is pulling his weight generally, why not be considerate about it. It's hopefully only for a few more weeks if your baby's latch improves.

Another Glaswegian- pumping equal shagging up here

I also think YABU.

If the DH needs more sleep, surely he can just not go out 3 nights a week and get an early night?

Yabu....

Think you are secretly pleased its annoying him do much though

And yes re the 'pumping' I thought you were up to all sorts

Pumping also = farting!

I cannot believe that people believe that someone with a five week old and two other children should pump downstairs because her poor DH, who, after all is only getting a scant 9 hours sleep every night, can't cope with 10 minutes of pumping. Poor diddums with only his 2-3 nights out a week and 9 hours in bed every night. I don't know how he copes. After all he pays the mortgage (unless she has savings, or maternity pay or is contributing by doing childcare or housework) and must get those 9 hours or be might crash the car.

MUMSnet, my arse.

I didn't know being a mother entitled you to being an inconsiderate arse!

Did you miss the 9 HOURS in bed and 2-3 nights out a week? The baby is 5 weeks old. She is feeding her baby and trying to get as much sleep/rest as she can. My DH would have patted my leg, told me what a great job I was doing, stuck his earplugs in and gone to sleep with a smile. Because HE is not an inconsiderate arsehole.

Nope. Did you miss the part where the OP goes downstairs afterwards anyway?

There's no point in the OP waking them both up.

I think a little consideration toward each other is needed here. After all, if he can't do his job because of tiredness/falling asleep......then you'll all be fucked.