to give ds the same name as his cousin?

[KarasKite]

Am due in a few weeks with ds. Bil has a three year old whose name (not actual, for example) is say William Jonathan. They announced him to the world as Johnny, let's say, but for a long time now have referred to him as a different, non name related nickname. We see them probably four times per year at most and the derivative of the middle name is the only name I like for ds and have always done so. AIBU to use it?

When DD was born our favourite name was the feminine version of my nephew's name (my sister's son). We thought it might be confusing, so we used it as the middle name instead. Five months later DH's sister had a boy and gave him the same name as my nephew. Then she called her third boy the same name as my sister's other son. So I now have two nephews called A and two called C. It doesn't actually seem to have caused any problems at all, so I do now sometimes vaguely wish we'd called DD by the feminine name anyway.

Of course, using the same names in a family may make family tree searching more difficult for future generations - DH's family tree is littered with Davids -his great-great-grandfather married five times and three of the five families had a son named David...

I think since it's the cousins middle name (even though they use the derivative to address him by and since you stated you would use it for a son, go for it. You don't see them often enough for this to be a problem.

It often settles down as they get older anyway. My brother and I had 2 girls each, all with very different names. All of them are now grown up and known by nicknames and diminutives so like (different names) Ellie, Emmy, Susie and Sooz. Scope for loads of confusion but completely unplanned so no one to blame.

BIL doesn't "own" the name. Even if I saw then regularly, I would be completely shameless and give my new arrival the same name if I liked it that much.

My aunty and uncle called their son the male version of my name. It massively annoyed my mum and annoys me too.

I have the same name as three of my cousins and my DB has the same name as two other cousins. It was family tradition and no-one gave it a second thought. It was expected. Nowadays with so many names why go down the same road as close family members?
It wouldnt have bothered me if my DB had given his DC the same names as mine - I'd probably have been flattered.
Do what you want - its a name for a lifetime - dont let others put you off

My brother has the same name as a relative. Exact first name and surname. They even have the same middle initial (though slightly different names).

Neither of them were bothered at all and as they grew up they were known as big xxx and little xxx.

Go with the name you love and if any one has any issues it is their problem.

Hmm. It's a difficult one - technically you can call your kid what you want but it will be a bit weird. Wasn't there a marvellous thread a few years ago where a poster had a baby daughter called Isabella Eve and her SIL had just announced that her newborn was called Isabelle Eva? Both were going to be called Bella day to day. That got loads of posters really het up.

Here it is

Have I got this right?
His name is William Jonathan.
They announced him as Johnny.
They now call him a nickname.
You want to use Jonathan.

If you love the name then use it op!

I have 21first cousins. Of these 6 are boys 2 are called John and 2 are called Mark. They are all named after their fathers and grandfathers. When we get together as a family it is confusing but often quite funny when you call John and you can see 5 or 6 heads turning to look at you. So YANBU name your child whatever you and dp want.

lackland Are you Irish??

And I want to know what Cilla's much used family name is??

Afrikaans families tend to have a Very Restricted List of family names, so you get whole generations where all the boys seem to be called eg either Johannes Jacobus or Jacobus Johannes. My MIL and her sister have the same names, jusr reversed. These are the same names as their mother, aunt, grandmother, great aunt, and step grandmother. They all have different nicknames but still... bottom line is, names aren't what make a person Unique and Special.

If you told her you would call a boy that name and she went ahead and used it anyway, then you use it too. If they say anything just tell them that you had told her that is what you would call a boy, so as she used it you had assumed she wasn't bothered about having cousins with the same name.

my husbands step brother did this we named ours 12 months later they named theres its his middle names just switched around i was a bit its not like they are the only names in the world! but they live elsewhere and so its not a real trouble the only thing that irks me is his mom can remember her step grandchild's name but her biological grandchildren get called BAB!! she asked me once what are you getting "the bab" for christmas i pointed out ive three of them which one was she referring to she was apparently so upset she couldn't sleep and her husband got on the phone to me to tell me how upset she was and i owed an apology because i made her ill seriously it went on forever i just try to ignore it now but it still makes me fume!

try and find another name and i guarantee that there will be someone else with the one you love

Oh, go for it! Amongst my cousins on my mum's side have two Edwards, two Thomases, two Jacks and now the cousins are all naming their children the same things too! So there are now also two Digbys, two Alexandras and two Mayas, though in different generations. It doesn't get confusing. Both my DDs share names either with their cousins or my cousins!

I wouldn't have an issue with it.

My cousins have my db's first and second names. One each as first names. Slightly confusing at times but no real problem.

D's has same Christian and middle name as his cousin who is 22 years older.
We asked cousin how he would feel and he said proud.

So they are Big....and little.....

They've only met a few times so not been an issue

We joke that in my family that there is an 'approved' list of names that are ok to use. So, my name is the same as my aunt's middle name. My cousin has the same name as my mum. My brother has the same name as aunt's husband, which is also my dad's middle name, and other cousin's middle name. My mum's middle name is the same as her mum's first name.
My nephew's (who is 8 months younger than DS2) first name is the same as DS2's middle name, which was the middle name of both of my great grandfathers. And most of this is either coincidence, or possibly laziness!!
I suppose it depends on your family. My family would find it amusing that someone else is following the family 'tradition', but it would cause absolutely no offence whatsoever!

If it is just your nephew's middle name you want to use I don't see the issue at all tbh.
If it was your nephew's first name it woud be more of a problem.

If it's a derivative of the middle name then no problem at all. To be honest I wouldn't be bothered even if it was the same first name.

I've got 3 cousins called Dorothy, 2 called Jean and about a million Johns. Nobody has the right to tell you what you can or can't call your own child, name him whatever you like.