to give ds the same name as his cousin?

[KarasKite]

Am due in a few weeks with ds. Bil has a three year old whose name (not actual, for example) is say William Jonathan. They announced him to the world as Johnny, let's say, but for a long time now have referred to him as a different, non name related nickname. We see them probably four times per year at most and the derivative of the middle name is the only name I like for ds and have always done so. AIBU to use it?

People are weird eh? I have same name as a cousin. It has never been even mentioned negatively. Cousin got in first. Do people really get angry about this stuff?

Ds1 has the same name as a cousin. They are both named in memory of the same relative. They rarely see eachother, not even every year, so I wasn't going to be put off a favourite, and popular name by that connection. My poor niece has 3 cousins of the same name as she has another on her side of the family. She seems to manage.

Through marriage, I have two uncles of the same name. We coped perfectly well, so tgat probably encouraged mdvto continue with my favoured name.

Mine and my sisters step sister has named her son the same as my sisters son.
Our cousins wife also has the same name but just the longer spelling - but same short name as sister son for when he DS will be born (any time now tbh - as she's in labour)

I wouldn't really care personally. I don't get why people feel like they own names. There's going to be about eight other Johns/Jacks/whatevers in the class anyway.

Personally I think it is a really really odd thing to do. I would never call a child of mine the same name as a living relative. There are thousands of names to choose from so I find it very difficult to believe that there are no other names that would work. If one of my siblings had called their children one of my children's names I would have been very pissed off (middle names no problem, but the same given name, no way).

Depends how often you see each other really. My cousin gave his DD my name - she's not named after me, they just liked the name - and no-one's thought it's weird. I've barely met her as well so it doesn't matter.

Up 2 u. I'm not here to dictate what you call your child, but surely a child should have their own identity. There are plenty of lovely boys names to think .x

Sorry posted 2 quick, (about)

I have a cousin with the same first name, eight months younger. Her mother readily admits that she liked what my parents chose so much she used it too.

It was mildly annoying for me growing up, but I didn't see her often, and overall it was not a big deal. It didn't cause any problems in the family.

Use the name you love. Especially as it's the other boy's middle name.

Name your child whatever you like! My cousin gave her daughter the same name as me and her son the same name as another cousin because she just liked the names. No one thought a thing about it. No one thought she named them 'after' us. This whole thing about 'don't name your child xxx because that's the name I like' is silly. Why should you have to settle for a 'second choice' name just because someone else used your first choice.

75% of my cousins have the male/female version of the same name

I'm confused. You're not giving him the same first name, right? Your giving him a derivative of the cousin's middle name?

Or have I got that wrong?

YANBU. I've always thiught it fantastic that I have a second cousin with the same name as mine and she's six months younger.

I don't really understand your first post but from my experience giving the same name as family members is not on.

My mum and dad were (and are still are) pissed off that my dad's cousin called his son the same name as my brother. They have a really unusual surname so now there are two Bill Unusual surnames in the country (there are about 10 people with the same surname in the whole of the UK)

I'd be annoyed if it was such a close relative. I can see from your posts that you want people to say it is fine but clearly most people don't. I'd think really carefully about this one.

SIL gave her DS the same name as my DS middle name. So did my cousin and my friend. I really didn't mind.

I gave my DS the same name as my sisters DS. I did call her first and ask, we are very close and I know she would have no hesitation in telling me if she had a problem. There's 8 years between them but funnily enough they became very close. It never caused any problems within the family but I know a lot of families aren't like ours.

Ds has the same name as my cousins ds. I didn't really know my cousins as they are a lot older than me and lived in a different country.
We now have regular contact and there has been no comment about it. Ds loves that she shares the same name as his cousin and his cousin refers to ds as his mini me.

Funnily enough dd has the same name as the same cousins wife. We didn't realise till we got a card of them and read it.

They think it's funny and have good choices of names.

Can't believe people fall out over a name.

The issue is that whilst Johnny is technically your DN's middle name, it is really his first name, as it is the name by which he is known. The fact that they also have a pet name for him is irrelevant as it's unlikely to stick and presumably mainly used by family. At nursery/school he'll be Johnny. So sorry but I think YABU.

Let me clarify -

Bil's child is always known by a derivative of his middle name

The name you want to use for your child is the same derivative of your bil's son's middle name.

So your nephew's middle name isn't really an insisted dormant type of middle name is it? It's used as his given first name.

I'd find another name. At least speak to SiL about it.

I have 3 sets of cousins called Chris and Jo. Try and be less confusing and more imaginative than my family!

My uncle, my brother and my cousin all have the same name. It's never caused any problems. Name your child what you like.

I'd find another name. The grandparents will find it difficult and it does seem a bit weird, frankly.

So they announced him as William Jonathan known as Johnny, but they call him something else? (Non name-related nickname). And you want to use Johnny? Is that right?

It depends a bit whether it's a nickname that he'll use in real life outside the family or if it's just a cute toddler name but he'll be Johnny at school and as he grows up. Can you talk to BIL/SIL?

There are millions of names. It's so exciting when you get to announce to the world the name you've chosen - it would feel a bit flat to me if the name was already in use by a relative and I think it just looks a bit weird that you really couldn't think of ANYTHING else.

YABU.

I wouldn't as I think it would bother me if it was he other at around.
However what I think one of your later posts was saying that they actually 'stole' your favourite boys name which you told them you would use if DD had been a DS?

In that case just use it, if anyone asks, just tell that you would have used it back then and nothing's changed. Besides if they call him a nickname now rather than Jonny then he may end up being William / Will / Billy etc

Call your baby whatever you want. One of my brothers and our cousin have the same name. My nephew and my son also do, and my niece's name is a a slight variation on one of my DDs name. My DS and DD came before my niece and nephew and I really couldn't care less. Rather, I'm pleased that they have excellent taste

I really struggle to understand why people get so bloody arsy about it. They don't own the name ffs.