AIBU to have wanted to bring my BIL's dog to Vet

[JessicaFletcher2014]

My sister & brother in law have a dog that was hit yesterday by a car as she walked alongside the kids to the bus stop on their way to school. They live in the country and they were coming around a bend when in my niece's words the driver was "flying" and she hit the dog. The dog was knocked down but managed to get up and hobbled back home. My niece came running back home to tell my sister what happened.
My sister said to her husband that she would take the dog to the vet and his response was "let her rest and if she doesn't heal herself then you know what I will do". That would be him shooting the dog. He said he did not want vet bills.
So I went out today to see the dog and the poor thing cant put her hind leg down. I felt so bad for her and said to my sister "put her in my car and I will bring her down to the vet". She told me no because I would be interfering with my BIL's dog. I said I am not asking for the money and I would pay the vet myself. She refused saying it would cause a fight. I am totally disgusted with them for not getting the dog looked at. So am I being unreasonable for saying I wanted to take the dog to the vet?

I'd have taken the dog. Because that hold will be there over anything and everything. And I wouldn't wanna see how bad things would get and how much more he could get her to over look. Because it won't end, and tht dog hasn't chosen to be there. She has.

I'd call the police though!

I really don't think people having a go at the OP is going to solve the situation. She has done what she can under the circumstances that she is facing.

The OP clearly thinks leaving the dog in pain is the wrong thing to do and she is trying to get it medical attention. Maybe try a supportive stance instead of an accusing/blame one.

We are not the ones in this situation nor are we the ones who will face the consequences of the OP's actions and given the cruel and bullying nature of the BIL, that I am afraid is more of a concern to me than the dog.

I love animals and have dogs of my own however I would not put their welfare above that of a person.

The OP has contacted animal welfare there is little else she can do.

OP I hope everything goes ok and that your DSis or you do not incur the wrath of BIL.

Inlove animals and have dogs of my own however I would not put their welfare above that of a person

Well what about the children on the house? Are they people?

Cos last time I checked animals in pain could be a real danger to a child

Well she could have taken it to a vet. Even if it was to just PTS

It wouldn't be sent anywhere with an untreated fracture

The OP has already stated that the dog was being kept in the utility room so I assume the children do not spend a lot of time in there.

And by the sounds of it I doubt the BIL will let anyone near the dog.

As I said you can blame/condemn the OP but it will not change what is a very real situation for her and she is trying to do what she can without causing more damage.

You can sit behind your screen spouting your self righteous crap but at the end of the day the OP and her Sis/family will have to deal with the consequences not you.

RTFT Giles the OP's sister would not let her take the dog for fear of what BIL would do on his return.

The children cannot get near the dog. Ive reported this and its likely to cause WW 3. Unless animal welfare give me an update I wont hear from my sister after this.

And this is why so many animals are a used. Because people always talk themselves out of it or make excuses as to why they don't do anything.

Nothing's changed since last night. She could have called first thing this morning. She didn't. It took people on an anonymous forum to convince her to make a call hours after anyone would have been there. So another night of agony for another animal.

And if he tried anything then call the police

There are strong links between animal abuse and other forms of DV. I agree the OP's sister and her children could be at risk. www.nspcc.org.uk/inform/publications/downloads/understandingthelinks_wdf48177.pdf

OP this must be awful for you. Who are the 'Animal Welfare' you reported to - do you mean RSPCA? They're the only charity in the UK with the ability to seize the dog, so please report to them they are also experienced with emotional abuse cases and can help if your sister or family are at risk

Giles have you actually read any of the OP's posts?

The OP's actions will cause immense trouble within her family. This will probably lead to the OP's sister going no contact which considering the fact that her relationship sounds like an abusive one being isolated will cause even more problems.

Women in abusive relationships are safer when they have family support, without it BIL will be free to treat her and the children as he chooses as there will be nobody to look out for them. Yes the dog being in pain is a terrible thing but the OP had valid reasons for not acting immediately.

The one to blame is the BIL not the OP nor her abused sister.

The only person to blame is the BIL.

Yes I have. I know the BIL is to blame. But you can't let things, criminal and cruelty acts go, just because they are family. A line has to be drawn somewhere, and if a dog suffering needlessly for three days doesn't make that line fear then what does.

The sooner something gives that sister an the children an inkling that these things are wrong and what they are living with is wrong, the better!!

Line clear

Excuse me as I have stated I found out late last night about it. I didnt know how injured the dog was or if badly at all. . I went out today when I could to see how the dog was. I had assumed albeit wrongly that the dog wasnt taken to the vet yesterday because there were no injuries. When I saw for myself that the paw could be injured I intervened by trying to take the dog. Animal welfare is open from 9-5 so even I called when I got home at 6 my complaint wont be dealt with until tomorrow.
I know by reporting this things will not be good for my sister and unfortunately the kids will suffer by not getting to see them.
thank you for your advice & support. No one could make me more upset about the poor pet then I already am.

The OP was not letting this go. She was doing all she could while by the sounds of it trying to protect her sister. OP offered to pay the vet bills and take the dog.

In regards to the sister knowing it's wrong I don't doubt for one second she thought it was ok to treat the dog this way but the fear of her husband was worse than her feelings for the dog.

It is easy for you to sit there preaching but I tell you from experience that when you are in an abusive relationship you cannot see the wood for the trees. Or are you going to blame the sister for that one too.

Try popping on to a D &V thread and read about the fear women feel and the loneliness of their situation. Try reading about the cruelty these men subject them to both physically and mentally and tell me that it is so easy for that sister to see what is right or wrong.

You want to blame the OP and THAT sister then fine nothing I say will change your mind so you just carry on in your precious perfect world Giles where every life situation is easily solved.

Is animal welfare rspca? You need to ring rspca...

Gileswithachainsaw stop being internet tough guy. Easy for you to type about non-existent burning buildings hypothetical you would hypothetically run in to for a hypothetical dog.

OP didn't want to defy the wishes of a man who has her sister in his house and terrified. She had a baby in her arms. This is a man who shoots problems. If his problems don't dissolve away before his ultimatum, he'll shoot them. That's his attitude. But oh no, Gileswithachainsaw would charge in, Gileswithachainsaw would knock her sister to the ground to get to the dog, Gileswithachainsaw would juggle the hurt dog and the baby, Gileswithachainsaw wouldn't be afraid of the VIOLENT MAN WITH THE GUN. If only OP and all of us were more like Gileswithachainsaw.

This is a man with a gun who doesn't want someone else to pay for medical treatment for his dog. A man with a hostage. But he's a long way away from Gileswithachainsaw, and Gileswithachainsaw always knows best.

"This", incidentally, is why women who live with violent men who have guns and have them too scared to let their sister take their dog to the vet and pay for it are abused. Because people make excuses. Because people put anyone before a woman.

I would be calling 101 and discussing the fact my sister was obviously scared of her husband and the situation and made clear references to fear of the repercussions.

The police come and check my cabinets and paperwork if anything changes. They will, particularly after some events in this country, be bloody interested in checking out possible domestic violence, with children in the house when there is access to a shotgun and/or rifle.
If she's not talking to you, then there's more to gain than lose.

OP, are you in the UK? If so, please call the RSPCA 24-hour cruelty line 0300 1234 999. If not, please let us know where you are so that we can try and find the agency relevant to you. I would also call the local police as your brother-in-law sounds dangerous!

Here (NZ) it is an offence to not seek/provide assistance for an injured animal.

Your BIL is a farmer, hopefully with crops rather than livestock given his attitude towards animal husbandry.