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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its not just those on benefits who have an entitled attitude

85 replies

lifesavingnoodles · 10/06/2014 11:37

Now Im not on benefits, neither are we well off. we have to work and save hard for our luxuries.

However we went to London at the weekend, and after spending all weekend moving out of the way of families with prams taking up the whole pavement, i realised that not one of them ever said thank you.

No common courtesty at all.

DH and i were chatting about it and he said, thats people with money for you, they EXPECT you to get out of thier way.

this made me incredibly sad.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 10/06/2014 12:10

They clearly knew you were of a lower order who should get out of their way.

IAmTheGodOfTitsAndWine · 10/06/2014 12:11

OP, you set yourself up for failure when you made the assumption that Mumsnet as a whole thinks that benefit claimants are entitled.

scotchtikidoll · 10/06/2014 12:12

On the contrary, if Mumsnet were a person, his/her opinion would be that it is massively dickish to stereotype people who are on benefits. Sure, there is the odd benefit basher, but they are quickly shot down on here..

Secondly, you cannot decide if someone is wealthy by what they are wearing. You can have heaps of tat but be cash poor, and in a lot of debt.

Thirdly, rude, 'entitled' (overused buzzword on here) people come from all different walks of life. You can have 9 heads and 3 islands and be a tosser.

KERALA1 · 10/06/2014 12:16

Don't visit Paris then! London with young kids is heaven in comparison! My friend moved from Central London to Central Paris with 2 toddlers and pined for London after the abuse she got daring to use the metro with toddlers.

emms1981 · 10/06/2014 12:32

I don't agree with your comment about benefits but I know what you mean, when I worked in a shop the people who clearly had money - expencive bags, clothes (not good old primark where us entitled people shop) and lovely hair styles were always the rudest and they seemed to be the tightest too, would bring things back for a refund I'm talking £1 or £2 refunds. The only place I've ever been where the people were polite was bristol.

picnicbasketcase · 10/06/2014 12:34

If you're out during the day with a pram, you're on benefits, you're rude, entitled and have a bad attitude to go with it.

Confused

Who knew?

edamsavestheday · 10/06/2014 12:39

London's busy so people don't have time to stop and chat. There are 8m people who live there, plus millions more commuting and visiting on hols.

It is rude not to acknowledge someone who moves out of your way - and I find most people in London do - but it happens everywhere, not just in town.

I quite often get asked for directions. If I'm running for the tube it's a pain in the bum but I do generally stop and try to help.

sezamcgregor · 10/06/2014 12:40

Have you never been to London before?

No-one says thank you or please - it's just part and parcel of it. People are just too busy/too good for it.

Come up North - it's much friendlier!

Except for that lovely businessman that offered to help me with my pushchair on the tube - he was lovely

aquashiv · 10/06/2014 12:40

What do you expect? Its London people are in a hurry. I have never found the place rude I do hate people who walk slowly standing staring into space - is that you?

fairnotfair · 10/06/2014 12:42

unholy paradox of entitlement

The most elegant phrase I've heard in a long time! Thank you Moomin

SuperFlyHigh · 10/06/2014 12:45

wait - I've moved out of someone's way with or without a pram/pushchair etc countless times (in posh area of London) and never or rarely been thanked? This has been with narrow pavement, sometimes meaning I'm in the road. prime yummy mummy area too.

I don't give it the time of day.

maybe I should force them to thank me for my politeness! Grin

Actifizz · 10/06/2014 12:46

Up North is grim and the people all smell of chip fat

< another pointless generalisation for the mix>

Original poster
lifesavingnoodles · 10/06/2014 12:47

three of the buggies were Hauk and one was a bugaboo.... i currently push a three year old Mothercare one that cost £30.

we were talking about the price of prams before we went on holiday because i need a new one.

I understand that they might have been second hand or given to them.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 10/06/2014 12:47

sezam - you're so right - it's just a London/big city thing. we don't say please/thank you generally but we're not rude (I don't think anyway).

I hold open doors for people have had pleases/thank yous etc but I certainly don't expect them.

and if anyone wants politeness from me in London they'll get it! I don't shove people out of the way, stop and give directions when asked but the rest of it, when rushing around, sorry I'm busy. nothing personal!

RiverTam · 10/06/2014 12:48

how do you know whether or not any of the pram-pushers were on benefits or not? Were rich or poor? I live in London, neither rich nor poor (child benefit, that's it) - where do I fit in?

AIBU to think that visitors to London dithering about getting in everyone's way are a total pain in the arse?

RiverTam · 10/06/2014 12:48

I understand that they might have been second hand or given to them.

well, if you can understand that, I would hope that you could understand how daft your OP is!

SuperFlyHigh · 10/06/2014 12:50

OP well you certainly found time to judge other people by not only their make of pram but also their manners.

I don't think they were bothered to think the same of you as perhaps they were enjoying themselves or enjoying being with their families.

Latara · 10/06/2014 12:51

I don't think you have explained yourself very well in your OP.

Some people are just rude whether they are rich or poor.

Viviennemary · 10/06/2014 12:56

It's nothing to do with benefits. If you want an entitled attitude look to the royal family who are entitled to Lord it over us all by their right of birth.

TwinkleTwinkleStarlight · 10/06/2014 13:02

Sorry OP but that is the worse stereotyping I have seen in a while!

Did they have signs around their necks with their bank balances on them????

I think you and your DH need to re-educate yourselves.

stubbornstains · 10/06/2014 13:10

FWIW, I've always found that Londoners love giving directions..they seem to positively relish it. Although the city centre is a lot more unfriendly- but then again, half the people walking around there are either tourists or commuters.

I do refer to the more working class areas of London, though, such as Hackney (talking about 15 years ago here!)- I v. rarely ventured into the leafier haunts of yummy mummies.

restandpeace · 10/06/2014 13:15

So all Londoners with prams have money, I'm confused.

Chachah · 10/06/2014 13:19

it's happened to me a few times since I've had a baby to not notice that people had stopped to let me pass... then they mutter something passive-agressive under their breath (usually a pointed "you're welcome"), and I feel horrible.

I swear, it's not because I have a stroller and feel entitled to anything! It's because I'm the least observant person in the world, and I honestly don't notice until it's too late. I'm working on it. :(

gamerchick · 10/06/2014 13:20

The handful of times i've visited London i've been taken aback by how rude some people are, not once did I hear somebody say please and thankyou to whoever was serving them anywhere. It was fascinating to watch because i'm not accustomed to that level of rudeness from so many different people.

I couldn't have linked that to benefits in any way though.

fragolino · 10/06/2014 13:33

i am afraid in london its every man for himself! its the same in most busy cities I am afraid.

I am not quite sure what your gripe is, you sound ridiculous, talking about benfits and now people with prams.

isn't it a courtesy to move out the way of any larger more imbolie vhechile, I don't dodge wheel chairs expecting a massive thanks after....

its a courtesy for the person to move.

if anyone sounds entitled it you, walking down street expecting a moses parting of the ways for yourself.

also people on benefits are not entitled.