For being in danger of pulling a 'Monica' over this party?

[MmmCakeMmm]

First world problems and all that but... at my suggestion a group of friends and I are planning a surprise birthday party for a friend. I started up a Facebook group so we can discuss ideas easily without her knowing.

I've been thinking about this for ages and have lots of ideas but didn't want to take over so I've been consulting everyone and asking what they would like to contribute.

Now, my thing is cakes. I'm kind of known for it and whilst I don't like to blow my own trumpet too often, this is something I'm actually quite good at (so people have told me, it's not just my opinion). But one person has suggested she have her friend do the cake. Now, this wouldn't have bothered me had I not seen the cakes this friend has done and quite frankly, they're shit.

So, before I go all Monica on my friend and relegate her to ice and cups, I thought I'd open myself up to a bit of perspective AIBU style . And before anyone accuses me of having nothing better to worry about, things are actually pretty shit for me right now but have bizarrely manifested itself as worrying about a surprise party. I don't know, I'm not a therapist .

Maybe your cakes secretly taste shit?

We have someone in our circle who makes great cakes and make such an effort. They look pretty good but taste rubbish. We take one bite Ooohh and ahhhhh at the cake then hide the rest in our handbags. No-one had told this person, I feel bad for them but they enjoy it so much no-one wants to say anything.

There's no way you can bring this up without it looking like you're throwing your toys out of the pram. As others have said let it play out and make a not too obvious back up like the cup cakes.

Oh it might be your cake I hadnt thought of that maybe they hate your cake

We have a person in our circle who makes amazing cakes... Only problem is they taste shite! We have started taking cup cake to any 'do' so that we can all eat cake while oooh in and arring at how beautiful her cake is (which they are) just no of us wants to eat them.
Are you sure your cakes are delicious?

I wondered that. I think maybe we all need a taste of your cake to decide.

Haha cosysocks we've never though of fake cake!!

Isnt 'pulling a monica' a reference to when Monica fucked up? Like when her fake nail got lost in the food and her mum pulled out the prepared lasagnes she had in the freezer incase monica did indeed 'pull a monica'

You are correct suzie

I'd be mildly concerned in case PartyFriend thought she ended up with a substandard cake because OP didn't want to make one. It will be tricky for OP to make it clear that she wanted to but was over-ruled without coming across as a dick, but presumably doesn't want PartyFriend to feel secretly hurt either.

There's a major friendship cakegate waiting to happen here... :(

In that case, Op dont pull a monica!

Im not into cake but the worst cake I evet tasted was a famous cake maker off the telly it was dry and claggy

Im not a cakey sort of person, dont get me wrong, i like cake but i take no interest in baking or flavours or anything (showing my ignorance here ) my dcs had been rabbitting on about baking cupcakes so I bought a betty crocker kit thing and we made them, they were horrible TBH but kids liked them and kept one for their granny. The next time she came she was gushing with praise and asked me for my recipe she said they were delicious and wanted to make them herself. Just goes to show, what makes a good cake isnt the same for everyone.

I don't like cake.

[difficult]

So, I could be an independent arbitrator if you need a cake-off.

You said that this FOF charges for cakes?

Can't you say you were going to make one as a gift? Seems like she's drumming up business for her friend.

What is blatantly going to happen here is you'll reluctantly nod and smile and concede she can make the cake, you will then get a bill for £60 from FOF, not feel you can say wtf, you'll all put your share in and the cake will look shit and birthday girl will think you don't care enough to make a cake yourself.

Oh OP - if only you had asked before you responded.

It's your group, you could have deleted the message and denied ever seeing it before you bought the ingredients.

As it is - my favoured approach now would be to say 'oh, that's very sweet but we can hardly ask someone who isn't even invited to do the cake for free. I am off out now so will get the rest of the ingredients and I've already bought some so I'll just do the cake. Does everyone like Victoria/chocolate/raspberry [whatever the cake will be]?'

Ooh, you've all made me paranoid that my cake tastes shit. So I contacted a couple of my ruthlessly honest friends to ask if my cake is shit and they said no. I mean, my sponges are probably occasionally a bit on the heavy side or the dry side but I think they taste ok. I've never tried FoF's cakes so they could be amazing but certainly they don't look the part.

I've decided to just leave it with the cake. A pp is right, there's no way I can pull this back without looking like a sulky arse. I'm going to volunteer myself for cupcakes to bring to the buffet and probably do the party games and decorations. Everyone seems to like the theme I suggested anyway .

Be sure to update OP after the event!

Nothing useful to add I am afraid, other than that my view on all social occasions is that you can never have too much cake so I would just do some serious cup cake baking and fingers crossed FoFs monstrosity tastes ok too.

However, this thread did make me think of this:

www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/133/I-Saw-It-On-Pinterest-So-I-Did-It-Myself-And-NAILED-It-20-Hilarious-Pinterest-Baking-Fails

I will do Vivi . Party is first weekend in July.

I'm crying at that link Frozen - the hedgehog fail is genius .

Apparently FoF won't do the cake I suggested so looks like I'm doing it after all .

What did you suggest? :o

This .

And you can do it? :o

I love cooking but can't do that kind of stuff. Mine are more "home made" looking

Frozen that link is the best

MmmCakeMmm I would seriously suggest being un-English about this and just coming out with the truth. Post something like "OK, I need to 'fess up: I really want to make xx's birthday cake and have been planning it for weeks...heck, I even went out and bought a, b and c to I could create this [insert picture here]. I didn't want to be pushy so was waiting for you all to say you were happy for me to do it...now I realise how much I would like to do this for my friend, would it be awful if we didn't use xxx friend of yyy and I did it instead please?"

Sod doing fancy cup cakes instead. Honestly, go for it and do the main event!