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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For being in danger of pulling a 'Monica' over this party?

89 replies

MmmCakeMmm · 10/06/2014 00:27

First world problems and all that but... at my suggestion a group of friends and I are planning a surprise birthday party for a friend. I started up a Facebook group so we can discuss ideas easily without her knowing.

I've been thinking about this for ages and have lots of ideas but didn't want to take over so I've been consulting everyone and asking what they would like to contribute.

Now, my thing is cakes. I'm kind of known for it and whilst I don't like to blow my own trumpet too often, this is something I'm actually quite good at (so people have told me, it's not just my opinion). But one person has suggested she have her friend do the cake. Now, this wouldn't have bothered me had I not seen the cakes this friend has done and quite frankly, they're shit.

So, before I go all Monica on my friend and relegate her to ice and cups, I thought I'd open myself up to a bit of perspective AIBU style Wink. And before anyone accuses me of having nothing better to worry about, things are actually pretty shit for me right now but have bizarrely manifested itself as worrying about a surprise party. I don't know, I'm not a therapist Grin.

OP posts:
HesGotStyleAGrooveyStyle · 10/06/2014 09:29

Wear this.

For being in danger of pulling a 'Monica' over this party?
ViviPru · 10/06/2014 09:31

Scratch that. I got it totally arse about face. My friend made the cake as a gift to the Mum to be and the bad cake woman made the cupcakes. They ended up eating the cake gift at the event apparently and the cupcakes were scoffed too.

Blimey I'm turning into my mother with my inability to recount events Confused

trevortrevorslattery · 10/06/2014 09:33

Yeah thanks fuzzpig.. now I have discovered cake wrecks website and have just wasted about 20 mins laughing at it! Grin

cakewrecks

TheIronGnome · 10/06/2014 09:37

I say this as a fellow cake maker... Make your cake!! I hate that so many people are 'cake makers' these days- being able to use a piping bag does not make you a professional!! And quite HOW many of them are charging for their creations is beyond me.

Monica the hell out of it!!

(Also wanting you to post some cake pics...!)

Original poster
MmmCakeMmm · 10/06/2014 09:42

drquin, is your RL friend beautiful, kind, intelligent, good at cakes and also planning a surprise party? If so then yes, I am she WinkGrin.

It's actually the truth that I've already started buying things to make the cake but I can always use the equipment for the cupcakes. This friend is quite forthright and at this point I can't see myself getting out of it without coming across as an insufferable twat which of course I might be.

I've come across cake wrecks before - some are hysterical. FoF's cakes are marginally better but still pretty poor. I was quite surprised she feels able to charge for them. I only ever do my cakes as favours or gifts - I wouldn't charge at this point as I know I'm not at pro level. This cake would have been my contribution so I wouldn't have expected anyone to pay for it.

OP posts:
SpicyPear · 10/06/2014 09:42

Maybe they took your offer to mean you weren't keen? It was a bit equivocal. Just tell them you'll do it as you have a fab idea. Then think of one quick.

Original poster
MmmCakeMmm · 10/06/2014 09:48

I've cropped the pictures as I don't want to out the poor woman but this is an example of her lumpy fondant and I'm guessing the other is buttercream piping.

For being in danger of pulling a 'Monica' over this party?
For being in danger of pulling a 'Monica' over this party?
OP posts:
HayDayQueen · 10/06/2014 09:50

But your friend doesn't want to dot eh cake herself, she wants to get HER friend to do it. So, you should get first dibs!!!

Bogeyface · 10/06/2014 09:52

I would be inclined to push the cost aspect. Presumably friend will expect you all to stump up the cost of the crap cake, so if you are offering to do it for nothing, most people will vote that you do it!

Perhaps post something like "How much if FOF going to charge? I was planning on doing it for free unless you lot would like to pay me £££ :o" or something.

Bogeyface · 10/06/2014 09:53

Also, can you do a bit of behind the scenes campaigning to get people on Team Mmm instead of Team Crapcake?

ViviPru · 10/06/2014 09:55

Well I'm not her acquaintance and anonymous so don't have to be polite. That looks crap.

ViviPru · 10/06/2014 09:56

Is the person who has suggested her friend make the cake aware that cakes are your thing?

gamerchick · 10/06/2014 09:58

Just bring up the cost thing.. everybody will pick free over a chunk of change that could go on other things.

Original poster
MmmCakeMmm · 10/06/2014 09:59

I've already tried the cost angle. I asked if her friend would be charging and my friend replied that she'd do it as a favour. Of course she may change her mind about that when she discovers the three tier artwork I was going to do and will be suggesting. Mwahahaha.

I may be reading too much into this but I think this goes beyond her thinking her friend would be good for this. Maybe she wants to let FoF showcase her 'talents' or maybe it's a dig at me. I don't know but I think it's less simple than meets the eye. Just my gut feeling on this given the way the messages read.

OP posts:
Original poster
MmmCakeMmm · 10/06/2014 10:01

Sorry, x-post. Yes, friend is aware that I do cakes and I think will have been aware that I was planning to do the cake for this event.

OP posts:
Foodylicious · 10/06/2014 10:01

Just say 'I have found this ace cake I was wanting to tryfor a while, it will be in x colour, can your friend make matching cupcakes?'

or that you were being sarcastic about the 'anyone one else wants to makethe cake' as they all know you always do the cake! How did they not notice the sarcasm

ViviPru · 10/06/2014 10:02

The more I think about it, the more rude it is of the friend who made the suggestion.

I'm a designer/photographer and in these kinds of circs the default person who is asked to do the invitations/take the pictures as my contribution. If a friend who knew this full well insisted that someone out of the immediate circle was drafted in to undertake these duties I'd feel the same as you OP. The CAH!

Foodylicious · 10/06/2014 10:09

Also if you do make cup cakes yourself have you seen them made in ice cream cones and decorated to look like ice creams?
they would be cool if you wanted to go for a beach/park theme, could do beach ball cake pops too!

ooh, getting excited and want to make cakes now

HayDayQueen · 10/06/2014 10:10

Just say 'You know what? If YOU wanted to make the cake for our friend, than that would be great. But as you don't want to make it yourself, I will be making it. Thanks anyway'.

fuzzpig · 10/06/2014 10:14

Glad to be of service, trevor :o

NickiFury · 10/06/2014 10:19

Hmmm, I would be wondering if Friend who suggested Crap Cake Maker Friend, had a bit of an issue with me, Queen Of Cakes. She seems resistant to you doing it for some reason.

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 10/06/2014 10:21

. Has that name ben drawn on with a felt tip?

Anyway, just say you're making an elaborate fruitcake and already started it 6 months ago

gamerchick · 10/06/2014 10:26

I

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/06/2014 10:28

It looks bad but do they taste ok?

gamerchick · 10/06/2014 10:28

I think personally I would let this play out and let one go. Make some awesome cupcakes and let this friend make a tit out of herself with her friends cake.

It probably won't happen again once it's been compared and criticised by your other friends.

You can be silently smug.

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