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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think only really daft people or those with loose morals fall for the I've got a wife/gf but we are not getting on let's start dating

74 replies

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/06/2014 21:40

But please don't tell anyone?

And that no matter what if you are going on dates with someone before they break up with their partner then the person you are dating is cheating and you are condoning cheating?

Just had the strangest conversation with a friend (who I'm about to cease considering a friend)

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 09/06/2014 21:41

What did the friend say ? "All's fair in love and war" or "we couldn't help ourselves" or other such bollocks ?

Chippednailvarnish · 09/06/2014 21:42

You reap what you sow.

TalisaMaegyr · 09/06/2014 21:43

You don't though Chipped!

Lookrightnow · 09/06/2014 21:44

Oh I knew one of these. It was a fairy tale romance and it all ended happily ever after

Oh no wait.

It turned out the wife was undergoing ivf and her bastard of a husband was stringing everyone along.

Even back then (pre mn) I said you don't actually believe this guy do you? I mean really? Realky

But I didn't know him

Yeah I did. He was a cunt.

Original poster

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/06/2014 21:46

Nope, she said and I quote

"They weren't getting for a few months on that means he's single and has been for a few month so I'm not helping him cheat anyway he broke up with her last week"

No dear it means they aren't getting on but were still a couple until they broke up.

OP posts:

Chippednailvarnish · 09/06/2014 21:48

I hopefully treat people the way I'd like them to treat me Talisa. Sleeping with someone behind their spouses back will generally come back to haunt you.

ZenNudist · 09/06/2014 21:49

She'll find out what it feels like to be the other woman's shoes when he does the same to her...

TalisaMaegyr · 09/06/2014 21:50

Oh me too Chipped, but I have to say over the years, I have lost belief in karma/payback, or whatever. This pair will carry on regardless.

Original poster

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/06/2014 21:53

I was shocked she spent the weekend with him whilst his partner thought he was working got back on the Monday and ditched his partner (who has 3 under 3's with him)

Phoned me to have a bitch because the wonderful catches very recent ex phoned her and said the arseholes phone is in my name I don't think it's ok for me to be funding him calling the slag who he cheated with so kindly tell him to return my SIM card.

She can't understand why she got that call

OP posts:

TalisaMaegyr · 09/06/2014 21:54

They sound delightful.

AnyFucker · 09/06/2014 21:55

I'd say they deserve each other. De-friend and leave her to it.

Trills · 09/06/2014 21:56

Sounds like your friend has
a - poor taste in men
b - poor empathy skills

AnyFucker · 09/06/2014 21:56

c) must be fucking desperate

Original poster

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/06/2014 21:57

Oh I'm going to. I prefer to only consider nice people to be my friends.

I just can't understand why anybody would fall for that crap

OP posts:

snorkyorky · 09/06/2014 21:58

Oh the poor woman. Three under threes and then your partner fucks off. Some people really are utter shits aren't they. Bet he's telling the OW he felt his wife didn't understand him or some other bollocks.

harriet247 · 09/06/2014 21:58

C definitely c.

Bogeyface · 09/06/2014 21:59

Well thats not going to end badly is it?! Much.

Silly cow deserves everything she has coming to her.

Amilionmilesaway · 09/06/2014 22:01

I don't understand people who don't want more out of life than a weak, selfish man. How can she have any respect for him?

Original poster

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/06/2014 22:04

Tbh I know the poor woman as well, she's actually incredibly nice has a lot on her plate and I recall having a fleeting conversation with her once about domestic violence and the impact on children she asked about a DV perp program I used to facilitate.

My perception of the situation is I expect that's why they weren't getting on chances are she asked him to go to one.

So she's best off out of it but obviously its not going to stop her feeling hurt by the situation

OP posts:

Voodoobooboo · 09/06/2014 22:12

As my hairdresser always says (long story, we've been together for 20 years), if they'll do it for you, they'll do it to you.

Bogeyface · 09/06/2014 22:15

Seems like your friend has done her a favour then in a roundabout way. But the hurt will take some time to get over. Poor woman :(

Trills · 09/06/2014 22:19

A and B and C. It's not an "or".

NoglenTilLykke · 09/06/2014 22:21

I think it has a lot to do with self-esteem. Obviously somebody that valued themselves really highly just wouldn't go there. People can be intelligent and moral (in their own way) without having a healthy self-esteem. Morals are subjective.

Original poster

NeedsAsockamnesty · 09/06/2014 22:26

It's not going to end well at all.

She appears to think that his recent ex should just get over it instantly because if they weren't getting on then its not like proper cheating.

She was posting lots of loved up FB things about him within what must have been hours of him breaking up with the ex.

I think the pair of them deserve each other and yes it's A B and C

OP posts:

whatever5 · 09/06/2014 22:27

I think it depends on whether the person who says it is married and/or has children.

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