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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse to clean the blender?

111 replies

IAmNotACleaningService · 09/06/2014 13:17

DH goes through phases all the time that last for a month or two. It was swimming for a while, and now it's smoothies! Whenever he is in one of his obsessions phases I am expected to facilitate it.

Anyway, when he makes smoothies he uses the blender. And every bloody piece of fruit and drop of milk we have in the house. He then forgets to clean the blender and worktop and leaves a smelly, sticky mess for me to clean up. Our blender doesn't go in the dishwasher as it needs taking apart to clean, and takes ages to do.

He made a smoothie yesterday afternoon and left the blender jug, the blender machine and loads of spilt smoothie all over the worktop. I left it and left it but to be honest it looked gross so I've had no choice but to clean the worktop today. DH then phoned me from work and asked me to wash the blender up because "He'll fancy a smoothie tonight" Oh and can I go and get some bananas and strawberries too?

I told him no to both of the above, and apparently I am being unreasonable because I have Mondays off work. I would wash the blender if it was easier to clean but it is absolutely caked with thick dry smoothie as he didn't even bother to rinse it after use.

AIBU?

OP posts:
diddl · 09/06/2014 13:39

"He then forgets to clean the blender and worktop"

Yup, of course he doesHmm

hedgetrimmer · 09/06/2014 13:40

im not sure really,It seems a bit petty.

Could you not not just clean up the blender,then when he gets home,tell him what he is doing is annoying you?Seems a bit less childish.

Original poster
IAmNotACleaningService · 09/06/2014 13:43

hedgetrimmer, by petty do you mean he's petty for leaving mess all over the place all the time, or I'm petty for refusing to be a servant?

Icimoi, I am part time, but as you have said I have lots of other things to do other than clear up his mess

OP posts:
Sweetmotherfudger · 09/06/2014 13:43

Cheeky git!

You're far too nice. If have left it there. Maybe found a few ants to hang around it too.

Hide the fruit.

Tell him to get the fruit on the way home and pick you up some while he's at it.

CarbeDiem · 09/06/2014 13:43

No YANBU, he is.

My Dh makes a protein shake every morning in the blender and cleans it immediately. Sometimes he'll leave the big beaker soaking in the sink so I'll wash it if I'm cleaning up. I don't mind only if he rinses and soaks first, if he doesn't it gets left for him.

The asking you to pick up some fruit would be ok if you were heading to the shop anyway or under normal circumstances, as a favour because he didn't have time but in this situation - you're not BU for that neither.

I know it's so annoying to have to leave it sitting there, the smell of the fruits fermenting away- bleurghh but you're going to have to it so he learns his lesson.
What's the betting because you won't clean up after him his smoothie making goes out of the window within days :)

ExitPursuedByABear · 09/06/2014 13:44

I would put the unwashed blender in the boot of his car.

ouryve · 09/06/2014 13:44

Montemongoose - it's not that healthy. Besides, looking after his own health would involve not expecting someone to source his ingredients and clean up after him. He's not a child to the OP as his mother.

iK8 · 09/06/2014 13:45

What tantrums said.

Now op, I might pop to the shops for him... to pick up a large box with a lid so I can dump all his unwashed crap in it and not have to look at it again. How dare he behave like that?!

Hang on tight to your self respect op. You are NOT his skivvy so don't you dare clean that blender!

HavantGuard · 09/06/2014 13:48

I'd expect a 12 year old to take responsibility for washing the blender if they used it every day. How old is he?

Bardette · 09/06/2014 13:49

My DH makes bean and cheese toasties in the sandwich toaster which make a colossal mess. He always tells me that he'll clean it up in a bit and just to leave it.
7 weeks it took him last time! I had cleaned the work top and put said sandwich toaster on top of the fridge.
also bought another sandwich toaster and hid it for my own use

iK8 · 09/06/2014 13:51

Yeah Exit's right. Boot of his car.

Then ebay his car. The fucker.

CookieMonsterIsHot · 09/06/2014 13:51

My DH does not have a natural tidy gene. When he leaves the hob or work surface mucky, I say "Hey! You've forgotten to clean up the kitchen!" He moans and groans in a comedy manner then cleans it up. Mostly he doesn't need telling though because he is a grown up.

If he phoned me from work to clean his mess on my day off he'd be grovelling and offering all kinds of favours in return.

Why did your DH think you were being unreasonable? Do you normally pick up after him?

If you regularly clean up his mess, he'd be justified in thinking you don't mind. If you then start saying no without warning he might have a little strop. That's still stupid and childish but somewhat understandable.

Maybe you need to go on proper strike wrt clearing up after him and let him know you are doing this as a result of him crossing an invisible line with that phone call.

DenzelWashington · 09/06/2014 13:53

I'm interested to see how long the smoothie phase will last if OP's DH actually has to clean the blender and buy the fruit. Not long, I suspect.

Which is just as well, because fruit smoothies are sugary, calorific and pretty unhealthy as anything other than an occasional treat.

ManchesterAunt · 09/06/2014 13:53

Get the box the blender came in, clear up blender dirty into box. Close lid. Wipe surfaces.

Do it every time he leaves a mess. Win win - you can put it away he can clean it.

OnlyLovers · 09/06/2014 13:56

YANBU, obviously. Who does he think he is?!

'No, you can wash up the blender if you fancy a smoothie tonight.'

'No, you can buy your own fruit if you need extra for a smoothie. And by the way, please don't use the fruit I've bought for the family without replacing it.'

I mean, most people over the age of about 11 would be able to grasp this, wouldn't they?

Is he generally a tosser?

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 09/06/2014 14:00

YANBU omg if someone had that attitude towards me "clean the blender for me incase I fancy a smoothie later and get some fruit for me while youre at it", I'd have to work really hard to not smash the fucking blender over his head tbh.

Day off or not, he's presumably a grown up therefore its not your job to clean up after him. cheeky git.

DorothyBastard · 09/06/2014 14:04

YANBU. Depriving the kids of fruit and expecting you to "facilitate" his silly fads? What a child.

StrawberryCheese · 09/06/2014 14:11

Yanbu. DH is quite messy in the kitchen but he would never tell me to clean something. I refuse to clean the cafetiere on occasion, I don't drink coffee so it is of no benefit to me. It will sit there for days, if I give in and clean it he will suddenly decide he fancies a coffee. Funny that Hmm

These smoothies must be costing you a fortune, fruit isn't cheap!

EyelinerQueen · 09/06/2014 14:15

YANBU. He's being a cheeky prick.

And smoothies aren't even healthy. Very calorific and full of sugar.

Paq · 09/06/2014 14:15

Then ebay his car. The fucker.

IK8 Grin

HellonHeels · 09/06/2014 14:17

Fuck that! People should clean up after themselves. You're not his servant.

Smoothies are not very healthy; he'd be better off eating the fruit.

eurochick · 09/06/2014 14:20

I'd go as far as filling the blender with water so it can be washed easily later, and I'd probably wipe down the sticky worktop for my own sake, but YANBU. He didn't "forget". He decided to leave it in the hope you will do it.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 09/06/2014 14:27

My inlaws had to throw their blender out. They took the cover off it to discover it had gone hideously mouldy and couldn't get it clean. Why? because 2 of MIL's nieces had decided to make themselves a smoothie several days before prior to going out for a run and didn't clean it up after. they must have put the cover on after though Hmm

To add insult to injury, when asked about it (inlaws guessed it was them) they said they'd had to go to the shop and buy ready made smoothies "because when we came to make another the next day and the next we found it wasn't clean" Shock Confused Angry yes dears that's because you didn't fucking clean it! They aren't kids or anything. they would have been about 28 and 30 at the time!

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 09/06/2014 14:32

Op where are you?

Please don't be off cleaning the blender!

Desperately that is really awful, some people have no shame!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 09/06/2014 14:37

I know coffee I couldn't believe anyone would have that attitude! And no, they didn't offer to buy a new blender, either of them. Hmm