Asian money saving habits driving me insane!!!

[BlueAndBlue]

I don't know if it's my DP's culture (he's from the Southeast Asia) or his family education, but the way he likes to save money all the time is driving me crazy. What I now call his 'mad saving schemes' have become our number one source of argument.

This morning I explained that in order to get DD to go back to sleep I had to use a hairdryer. He asked me whether I realised how much this habit was costing us (apparently a lot). He also said that it was useless trying to replace normal light bulbs with LEDs if on the other hand we were using the hairdryer to put DD to sleep.

I was annoyed and short fused (DD didn't sleep very long this morning, I didn't get to do half the things I would have wanted, had visits coming for lunch etc), and things escalated very quickly into a full-blown argument.

He wanted me to find solutions such as putting a rubber band on the cold button of the hairdryer. I explained that I'd tried a white noise app but DD much preferred the hairdryer.

I should say that DP has otherwise spent a bomb on refurbishing our house (with mostly his money) and that generally for big projects he never questions the need for spend. It's the little things he minds (eg paying for delivery costs, buying milk at the local convenience store instead of the big Tesco's, using a hairdryer to put a baby to sleep, etc).

I think he was being unreasonable to ask about the hairdryer cost this morning, knowing how difficult everything already is with an 8-week old baby and a boisterous 2 year old toddler. I said that my sanity was worth far more than the cost of running a hairdryer, but that didn't seem to do anything.

I'm still angry at him. Am I the one being unreasonable?

you need to bin the hairdryer thing - its nuts

get the hairdryer noise on youtube its easier

Could you record the hair dryer noise on your phone?

milk is cheaper at our convenience store than tesco do the math

is it cheaper to take the car or pay the delivery?

he is nitpicking!!

cultural differences can be annoying and highly amusing no doubt he finds some of yours strange/annoying

I guess you have to just find away of accepting each others differences rather than pick holes in them

Haha.

My in laws are Indian and live in a hovel of a house needing extensive repairs/refurbishment.

FIL has plenty of money.

My DH also has a bee in his bonnet about paying for car parks. Drives me nuts. It is a cultural thing, for sure.

But I agree the hairdryer is a bit mad. Can't you get white noise apps for your phone?

surely objecting to hairdryer usage isn't a southeast asian trait?

That's quite some thread title.

Everyone is unreasonable when you're sleep deprived.

But yes it does sound a bit annoying. Ignore him.

Putting aside the slightly mad hair dryer idea my dh is as tight as a badgers arse and he's not Asian.

TroyMcClure, I hear ya...

CSIJanner: Well that's what he tried doing this morning in the end, but somehow my recording app doesn't allow me to play it continuously. Or maybe we were both too frazzled to make it work correctly. I can look into this. However, if it's just about having a sound on my phone, I have the 'White Noise Baby' app which has a hairdryer recording. Maybe I could try and persuade DD that this is as good as the real thing after all to go to sleep.

Deakymom: ok Youtube is another potential, maybe instead of the app.

So overall, it sounds like you're all thinking of solving the hairdryer issue rather than DP's money saving scheme then??...

Ok, interesting... I can take it...

Ahh, more opinions coming through, the jury is out.

divingoffthebalcony - yeeeeeeees car parks, I'd forgotten about this one! Not paying for car parks is also a hot topic in our family! So funny.

On a general note: we were with a Filipino friend this afternoon who is convinced that saving money with everything is definitely a Southeast Asian trait... I don't know myself, but the more I talk to people the more I have the feeling this is true.

I agree with him. That would be a ridiculously expensive way to get a baby to sleep. possibly dangerous too as you're not supposed to run the hairdryer for more than 2 minutes at a time. I'm not Asian but ..... I'm definitely tight. Baby #2 had no problems sleeping, baby #1 had to have "Hemant Kumar- The Golden Collection" played on loop.

you're not supposed to run the hairdryer for more than 2 minutes at a time.

Whaaat? I didn't know that.

OP I'm going to say YANBU. When you have a baby you need to get off to sleep you will do anything to do so. I say let him get baby to sleep, and see how log it is till he resorts to the hairdryer.

ps. Try the hoover. Used to work for my ds1.

BlueandBlue, my husband is a New Yorker and he has some very eclectic ideas when it comes to saving..I mostly go along with them, unless they inconvenience me or are just plain mad..

I worry about the hair dryer thing though, I once got a burn from the electric shock when my hair dryer shorted out..

I have Asian heritage and am ridiculously tight... But then my dad, who is half Bangladeshi, believes money grows on trees. Make of that what you will

DH nitpicks about small expenses when he is stressed or anxious about something (usually work)

Being the sole breadwinner while I was on mat leave sent him into overdrive . He started turning every appliance off at the socket to make sure they REALLY weren't using any electricity; and not just the telly, sky box etc. which would make sense - bedside lamps got the same treatment

Thankfully he has relaxed a bit now that I am back at work!

Maybe your DH is a bit stressed?

YANBU - I swore by the hair dryer trick and apps didn't work in the same way. Just stick a hairband on the cold switch.

My DH moans dramatically EVERY TIME we go food shopping, it drives me mad, but this, and the issues you're experiencing aren't really that bad, especially if he is willing to spend when needed, so maybe try to joke about it and keep it lighthearted.

You're only supposed to run a hair dryer for 2 minutes?

Hmm.

Op have you tried putting her in front of the washing machine, worked wonders with mines, both the noise and the watching things go round and round was hypnotic.

Try "white noise" by TMsoft. A much better app, with loads of different sounds.

You will overcome the hair drier stage!! At 8 weeks I would have laid out a bed of freshly hand plucked goose feathers and rose petals every night if I thought it meant dd would sleep!!

It's temporary. I'm sure he can suck up the extra 2p it will cost to run the hairdrier for 10 minutes!! Tell him it's the price of sanity.

Well i'm not asian and i'd at you using the hairdryer continuously to get a baby to sleep, unless you were actually drying your hair at the time. I also dont pay for parking if possible, go to the cheaper place for milk, switch sockets off, use energy at night when cheaper, reuse plastic packing containers for food storage etc etc. i dont think this is exclusive to asian culture, lots of cultures know the importance of making small savings to enable you to pay for the bigger things.

2 minutes? TWO minutes? Not a hope. Twenty perhaps and we are somewhere close to drying my long, thick hair.
Oh to be able to dry in two minutes. Actually, I suspect if that's possible the amount of hair you have is little enough to not even need a hair dryer in the first place.

Never heard of the two minute rule before... Does it spontaneously combust after that ? !