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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Offer My Ex-Neighbours A Cash Bonus To Move Back In? Failing That WIBU To Murder My New Neighbours?

125 replies

MamaPain · 08/06/2014 20:46

My neighbours of seven years moved abroad a few months ago and are now renting out the house. Our two families had grown close and they were great neighbours. Similar to us in that they were relaxed, not arsey and had similar pattern of life.

They have since been replaced by a new family. New family is awful. If the mother one more time talks to me all sour-faced about her 'young children' and how allowances must be made for the 'young children' I will end up doing time. She seems to be under the impression that I just fired fully formed teens out of mine.

I've had her round here an hour ago complaining about the noise. Totally unreasonable. In the space of almost three months she has made over 20 complaints to me.

I've spoken to my old neighbours and am begging them to come back. Thing is I'm a woman of a short temper, I am really really trying but when does it become reasonable to tell her to fuck off?

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaPain · 09/06/2014 19:56

Oh nothing extreme, just along the lines of I'm not that interested in her problems and not to come knocking on my door unless it is exceptional circumstances or that it will not end well. Just add in a bit of finger pointing and a fair amount of swearing.

I've had a reply from friend/ex neighbours and the situation is how I'd thought it to be in that the husbands are friends or colleagues or something and they are renting it out for the 18months that old family are set to be away for. After 18 months they will decide to come back or sell or whatever.

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/06/2014 19:59

Haha and how did Mrs Loopy react to your bollocking?

SoleSource · 09/06/2014 20:11

Report her to the Police, show her you mean business, I wish I had. Never speak to her again. Forget her, she is bonkers and probably jealous of you.

Original poster

MamaPain · 09/06/2014 20:17

She did what she always does when ever we have slightly disagreed, which is get huffy.

She said I clearly didn't understand and went inside. I think I will have to wait and see as to if its actually got through to her.

OP posts:

Chippednailvarnish · 09/06/2014 20:17

Get the Dyson out.

Original poster

MamaPain · 09/06/2014 20:18

But Sole don't you think, for this situation thats a bit excessive. I don't wanna row with my neighbours.

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 09/06/2014 20:21

She's a tit.

Next time she knocks, open the door and say

Just. Fuck.Off.Now and give her the death stare.

Then shut the door in her face.

luridshorts · 09/06/2014 20:23

Can't you tell her to get fucked?

Original poster

MamaPain · 09/06/2014 20:25

That was basically what I did today.

OP posts:

mistlethrush · 09/06/2014 20:25

If you're working and she calls round "I'm working, my hourly rate is £x and I take payment in advance for any time I anticipate you're likely to take"

cantbelievethisishppening · 09/06/2014 20:27

Vacuum at 2am and puncture all further footballs. When she comes to your door again chuck a water bomb on her.

KatieKaye · 09/06/2014 20:31

Disengage.
this woman wants an audience, so you have to be firm.
"I'm not interested. Goodbye."
nothing more. And then shut the door. She is being rude, unreasonable and intrusive, and will get worse and worse if you try to make her see reason- because her way is the only way and the world should bend to her will.

And get that Dyson out every day. Open the windows wide before you start. And when she comes round, cut her off and tell her you aren't interested and then walk away. She'll get the hint eventually.

eddielizzard · 09/06/2014 20:32

you gotta see how she's going to play this. she might back off and it's job done.

or she won't change at all.

she is bonkers.

i might end up saying that you'll return the balls once a day at the end of the day. any more and you'll contact the police because she's harassing you.

Icimoi · 09/06/2014 20:47

I find it really weird that she clearly thinks that having Young Children gives her the right to dictate that her neighbours can't use their property in the way that any normal person does.

Do you have any relatives or friends with even younger children you can ask to stay? Preferably teething babies? She can hardly object to them making a noise, after all the rights of Young Children trump everything, and you can then start objecting to every tiny sound coming from her house. Then at the end of it point out that, if she didn't like it, that's how she's made you feel since moving in.

vitaminz · 09/06/2014 20:54

Hit her over the head with a saucepan?

Original poster

MamaPain · 09/06/2014 20:55

My grandson stays over sometimes and he's younger.

I think this woman is the personification of the mn buzz word; Entitled.

OP posts:

Zucker · 09/06/2014 21:03

I think no matter how friendly you try to be with this new family they're never going to be friends. Clearly somethings not right with them and their view of how neighbourhoods work. Nod and smile and keep your distance. Oh and the off do eff off dear thrown in for good measure.

heraldgerald · 09/06/2014 21:15

I don't think Yabu and having a word is right...how old are her young children btw? I was terribly crackers precious when the kids were under 3 about noise, basically because I was neither sleeping or coping.

RandomMess · 09/06/2014 21:42

I think just answer EVERY complaint with "I'm not interested speak to the council noise team"

Hissy · 10/06/2014 14:53

I think you seriously ought to take this up with the owners of this house. You are saddled with this utter fucking loon for 18m? no way is that reasonable. Ask them what it'll take to get these people served their notice?

Remind your neighbour that if you have to call the police on their tenants that it will need to be declared on any sale documentation if they do decide to sell.

they are not going to be friends with these people after this. and if they are not careful, neither will you.

It could be that this godforsaken pair BUY the house from your neighbour.

They have to go.

ffluffy · 10/06/2014 17:49

I would contact the police before she goes utterly loopy and calls them first.

CruCru · 10/06/2014 19:59

Yeah but if she calls them, what are they going to do? The OP isn't making an offensive amount of noise.

ffluffy · 10/06/2014 21:13

That's true, they'll probably do nothing, but at least they will have a record of her having harassed OP and have an idea of the bigger picture.

Just might be an idea to cover your back in case it escalates further IYSWIM, particularly if you are going to be having summer BBQs etc which the neighbour may complain about.

Original poster

MamaPain · 10/06/2014 21:17

Well there hasn't been any new developments as of yet. I'm really not into the idea of involving the police.

I can cope with her involving them but will not be actively seeking them out myself.

OP posts:

SoleSource · 11/06/2014 19:40

Mama - /have you yourself ever done this to a neighbour? I imagine the answer is no. You think you can handle her, you;re in disbelief at her behaviou, it is bizarre, bothering you, she knows she is getting to you, she won't stop, you cannot predict what the next eighteen months will be like, report her now, get in there first, tell the Police all you know, she needs to be told her behaviour and complaints are totally unreasonable.

You seem a strong woman, do not underestimate her, protect yourself, show her you mean business, might stop her,,,,

no it isn't OTT it is the action of a sane, sensible person wanting peace

get CCTV too

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