To Offer My Ex-Neighbours A Cash Bonus To Move Back In? Failing That WIBU To Murder My New Neighbours?

[MamaPain]

My neighbours of seven years moved abroad a few months ago and are now renting out the house. Our two families had grown close and they were great neighbours. Similar to us in that they were relaxed, not arsey and had similar pattern of life.

They have since been replaced by a new family. New family is awful. If the mother one more time talks to me all sour-faced about her 'young children' and how allowances must be made for the 'young children' I will end up doing time. She seems to be under the impression that I just fired fully formed teens out of mine.

I've had her round here an hour ago complaining about the noise. Totally unreasonable. In the space of almost three months she has made over 20 complaints to me.

I've spoken to my old neighbours and am begging them to come back. Thing is I'm a woman of a short temper, I am really really trying but when does it become reasonable to tell her to fuck off?

This woman is insane. I like the idea of handing her a card but she just would complain about that.

Please do consider the police though, because this does sound like it's verging on harassment. At the very least note down when she comes and what she is complaining about, so that if she ever decides to get somebody external involved you can prove that she's the oddball you've been reasonable!

Have the landlords told you whether they'll be renewing her contract?

I'm afraid I'd make a point of doing things to annoy her on purpose. People who complain over everything get my goat, we've got a man near us who complains about everything children playing, barking dogs, people having barbecues (not the noise, the smoke coming from them). A few weeks ago I actually caught him glaring over his next door neighbours fence (they live directly behind us), no doubt looking for something else to complain about.

I was giggling at the outset but this is beyond funny and I'm sorry. Much as I would LOVE to see the Dyson Defence to provocation stand up in court, this is not yet the case. (Looks wistfully at Dyson in the corner, sigh.)

Seriously however, please just pop into the police stn for a chat because you need to see the fuller picture.

I presume she has been like this for some time so the Police may already be aware from previous neighbours (nationally, doesn't matter where in UK). If she has a history of domestic harassment that escalates (for example...into criminal damage) wouldn't you rather let the Police pay her a quiet visit before she can get that far with you?

If you want to stop her coming onto your property, you'll need an injunction to prevent trespass. Any sol can help you get that or pop along to your local civil court and fill in the forms yourself. I'd see the Police first as a visit from them may be all you need.

And put the Dyson away, woman.

my DS has neighbours exactly like this - the only difference is that the male of the pair is as batty as his wife and after the wife comes round to whine about something her DH comes round to say that what his DW said is either 'factually correct' or 'factually incorrect' and will then spend another 20 mins going over it. It is my DS's fault that the neighbour's dog comes up to him when he goes out of his own door because 'we used to live in the country and didn't have neighbours, so he's confused.' Fucking madness - DS can't get into a huge ding-dong over it in case it comes up when he sells his house (which will be sooner rather than later).

We used to have a nippy neighbour that complained a lot about silly things that were really none of his concern.
He wasn't a fraction as full on as your woman there though.

Eventually I answered the door to him and flatly stated "Why don't you trot back indoors and phone the police? Then you can waste their time instead of wasting mine. Now go away . I do not want to see you at my door again."
Then I closed the door on his gaping face.

He never came back.

Just get her told.

I'm in!

Where do we hide the body?

Well Mama you've hung in there longer than I would have, the sky would be blue by now if I had to put up with as much.

I think that verges on harrassment - have a word with the CAB.

Our neighbour mostly complained about noise. The hoover, the baby crying, the TV and radio, visitors, DIY, laughter, basically anything that made a noise at all. He lived upstairs and would bang ferociously on the floor as well as coming to the door. Tedious fucker.I genuinely believe he sat there in silence waiting for a noise to bitch about.
When I stood up to him, he stopped.

Make a bingo card up and when she knock today next time get your card ready to mark of the complaint.

Or if it was me I think would probably when answering the door ask her what today's problem is, and if she mention her dc turn it around stating she is not the only one who has or has had children and they world does not revovle around hers.

I know the feeling . My ex neighbour was kind enough to choose tenants suitable to us

If the 'word' doesn't work I think you should contact your old neighbours because they do need to know about the behaviour of their tenants.

LuluJakey1 I hope your baby dosn't grow up and want to play football in your garden. If he ever does I hope all his lost balls come back popped.

OP - I think your neighbours are well out of order and prime pains in the neck

She sounds barking mad, I wouldn't be too worried about souring the relationship - it's not like you're friends, is it? Just be firm with her next time she does something annoying, tell her you're working, you don't have time for this, and if she persists in harassing you you'll be raising the issue with her landlord. If she's got any sense, she'll back off. If not, send the sh!t-list to the landlord so they can see what a crazy fool she is. You're probably not the only person on the street she's annoying.

Another vote for sending the list to the landlord. This is harassment.

I wonder if she realises how she is coming across? It wouldn't surprise me if she was attempting to befriend you without realising just how badly she comes across!

Rhine inadvertently had a good idea at 09.45
She said 'gets my goat'.
The answer is obvious! Get a goat! Charridee, eating the balls, keeping your lawn down and a drinking buddy fine way to piss her off with no discernible reason.

She knocked again today, didn't she...?

I would say that their landlords are Close Personal Friends of yours who would HATE to upset you and if she persists in her ridiculous complaints about too many people coming round/hoovering noise etc then you will call them and they will terminate the contract!

She's a massive tit.

Give her both barrels next time she starts in about something, don't hold back!

No she didn't knock again today.

After all my banging on about how I work at home, today was actually a day I had to go into the office for a while. Anyway I spent my journey home projecting my tube rage onto her and found I felt fucking furious by the time I got indoors.

I do have a tendency to fly off the handle and slap a bitch so although I managed to calm myself down I still was annoyed enough to go and have a chat with her.

I wouldn't say that it didn't go well, but I am realising she may just be utterly bonkers. She couldn't see anything from my perspective and was once again banging on about the 'young children' and I did find myself getting so angry.

Anyway I used my 'techniques' and didn't go mad but I may have ended up mildly threatening her

Threatening her?

How?

Woohoo. Well done you.

I don't know how you've stood it this long! Can you imagine living next to her in a semi or a terrace! 'Excuse me, you are keeping my young children awake when you flush the loo / put the light on / clean your teeth / put your glasses down on the bedside table / boil the kettle...

My dog loves balls. We do try to send them back before she gets them, but don't always succeed - but the difference is that we get on fairly well with the neighbours and they don't send too many over!