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Original poster

Disagreement over birthday present for ds1

69 replies

BobTheFly · 08/06/2014 11:45

In principle we both agree that ds1 can have an iPad for his 11th birthday.

However one parent thinks he should have their old iPad 2 and they (the parent) should have the newer one. It does have a hairline crack across one corner but this doesn't affect use whatsoever. This parent's birthday is two days before ds1 so that would be their gift.

Other parent thinks it's his birthday so he should get the new one as parent 1 already has one.

We can't afford to get two.

Who's right (in your opinion)? Parent 1 or 2? Wwyd?

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 08/06/2014 11:48

I think there is nothing wrong with giving the child the old IPAD but if you did it would count as a minor present, not a major one IYSWIM.

So say a new bike and a second hand IPAD would be fine - if that is what is wanted.

SandorClegane · 08/06/2014 11:49

An old cracked iPad sounds like a bit of a crap 'present'. It sounds like parent 1 is selfishly trying to get a present for themself out of their child's birthday which is pretty shit and stingy.

RhondaJean · 08/06/2014 11:50

I agree with barbarian.

New iPad OR hand me down iPad and another present.

There will probably be hordes along in a minute asking why you would give them any iPad Grin

magpiegin · 08/06/2014 11:52

It's ok to give the old iPad if the parent wants a new one, but not as a birthday gift. If the parent wants one, fine- but not instead of a birthday present for the child.

Original poster
BobTheFly · 08/06/2014 11:52

rhonda haha of course there would be but hey ho our choice- I'll ignore those ones! :-)

OP posts:
OddFodd · 08/06/2014 11:54

Agree with everyone else - you can't give an 11 yo your cast offs as their 'big' present - it's really tight

Canus · 08/06/2014 11:54

Does your son already have free access to the iPad 2?

If so, 'giving' it to him as a birthday present would be a bit feeble. Unless you do as BarbarianMum says, and give him something else too.

Turning 11 is a 'growing up' kind of birthday I think, he should get the newer iPad.

Original poster
BobTheFly · 08/06/2014 11:56

Yes he pretty much has (time restricted) free access. He has mincraft on it for example.

OP posts:
annielouise · 08/06/2014 11:57

Birthday DS should get a present that's new for his birthday, not a hand-me-down. The parent that wants the new iPad is putting themselves before the child, which is right sometimes but not regarding a birthday present. DS will remember he got the second hand one while one of his parents got a new one.

Original poster
BobTheFly · 08/06/2014 11:57

^ that doesn't make sense. Yes he gets to use it but obviously we have the usual time boundries for screen time.

OP posts:
CrystalSkulls · 08/06/2014 12:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 08/06/2014 12:01

Agree with other posters. Child gets the new one, or the old one as a minor present along with another present.

Original poster
BobTheFly · 08/06/2014 12:01

Thanks everyone.

As you might have guessed, it's dh who wants the new one. He says I'm biased though because I have my iPad mini which is newer. I don't think he's being deliberately selfish, i just think he hasn't appreciated how grown up ds is getting and it will be a bit of a crap present especially if he wants to show friends what he got etc. (I know that shouldn't matter but it does when you're 11).

OP posts:
Igggi · 08/06/2014 12:03

Not as a birthday present. Fine if you went out and bought a secondhand item, just not a hand- me- down.

CrystalSkulls · 08/06/2014 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SandorClegane · 08/06/2014 12:03

Is your dh generally quite immature and selfish? Not a great quality in a parent.

Birdsgottafly · 08/06/2014 12:05

Old laptops, phones etc get handed down as standard in my family.

If you give your DS the old IPad, you haven't got him a present.

It's a terrible, selfish suggestion, tbh, made worse by it being cracked.

11 is a special birthday and I think it's an age were a child should have their own internet access device, if possible, for research. This can be updated again at 13 (another special birthday).

CrystalSkulls · 08/06/2014 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWinnibago · 08/06/2014 12:06

Bob don't let selfish DH get his own way. He has an ipad...it's cracked but tough.

CrystalSkulls · 08/06/2014 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwinkleTwinkleStarlight · 08/06/2014 12:11

It's not mean/tight if that is all that can be afforded... Not the case here but even so.

Original poster
BobTheFly · 08/06/2014 12:12

Tbf until fairly recently we've been really poor and we're both finding the adjustment to being able to afford such big presents quite weird. In the past a hand me present would have been the best we could have done. :-(

OP posts:
Original poster
BobTheFly · 08/06/2014 12:13

X posts.

OP posts:
HPparent · 08/06/2014 12:17

Does your DS have an iPod touch - a better option IMO. If not, sorry but I think he had to have the new ipad. Why not a mini? Cracks on the old one can be repaired.

My DHs birthday is 2 days before DD2's and he would never expect something new and for her to have his cast offs. In the past when we were short of money, he just had a token present do DD2 could have a better one and a party etc.

The parent who wants a new ipad is utterly selfish IMO.

sanfairyanne · 08/06/2014 12:27

how much would you want to spend on each present?
we gave ds2 a hand me down iphone 4s but it cost us 50 quid to fix up and that is our usual present budget
i would prob think dh was being selfish tho tbh

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