Disagreement over birthday present for ds1

[BobTheFly]

In principle we both agree that ds1 can have an iPad for his 11th birthday.

However one parent thinks he should have their old iPad 2 and they (the parent) should have the newer one. It does have a hairline crack across one corner but this doesn't affect use whatsoever. This parent's birthday is two days before ds1 so that would be their gift.

Other parent thinks it's his birthday so he should get the new one as parent 1 already has one.

We can't afford to get two.

Who's right (in your opinion)? Parent 1 or 2? Wwyd?

A hand me down presenting itself is not mean or tight - what is mean is palming off your old (slightly broken) item as a birthday present so that you can have an excuse to get yourself a new one.

If he absolutely must have a new ipad, then he just gives your son the old one for no particular reason, and DS gets a different present for his birthday. An old, broken hand me down is not a birthday gift.

I think that's really selfish, it's not really a birthday present if it's something he's already been using and is damaged.

Either get him the new one as a main present or give him the old one but buy him something else.

I can just visualise it - oh look what I got for my 11th birthday Dad's cracked old Ipad that I use anyway. Oh look what Dad got for my birthday a brand new shiny ipad - Yay

How to make your 11 year old feel special!

Agree that if you have no money a handme down is fine. But better present for a parent on your birthday than you get yourself is rather shit. How about a new ipad mini each?

Or tell DH to suck it up and save up for a new Ipad for himself separately.

Bob why the sad face? All my presents as a child were second hand, but thoughtful. Stickle bricks in a painted biscuit tin with Magic Roundabout stickers, a portable record player with strategically placed Blondie stickers over the scratches .

I don't see anything wrong with giving your DS the hand me down iPad if I'm honest (we did the same with DS and my old iPhone at Christmas), it's a very expensive present for an 11 yr old's birthday.

Just my opinion of course, but I'd give him the old one, load some films/games he likes onto it and buy him a nice case for it.

If it were a case of a second hand one or none (for anyone) then it would be lovely of your dh to hand down his and you and he share the mini.

However in this case you can only afford one, and dh has one, so if you are buying it as a birthday present then it should go to the person without one.

A new ipad is an expensive gift, and dh shouldnt be prioritising his birthday present over his sons. After all, if DS had asked for a bike, DH wouldnt be getting a new ipad as the cost is similar. He shouldnt benefit just because your son happened to ask for the ipad.

Child gets new ipad as present parent can wait and save up for new one. Sounds tight if you can afford to buy a new one to give a pad that child alreadynhas access to as a present.

Or, if what you can afford is an Ipad Mini - offer ds his own brand new Mini (and dh keeps the fulk size one) or he gets a selection nd hand full sized one.

What value birthday presents does the other parent get for their birthday?

I don't think there is anything wrong with hand me downs, for instance fixing the iPad and giving it to DS if that was the only option but totally agree with kewcumber imagine the poor kids face getting a 'present' he already uses and dad sitting there like the cat who got the cream on a shiny new iPad, hardly fair!
his dad is being selfish.
iPad are very expensive but there are some great deals about if u have a good look around. I've seen iPad minis for under £200

I'm with your DH on this one.

I am really surprised that everyone thinks differently. . I think it's sensible and not tight.

An old IPad2, even one with a small crack in, sounds like a great present for an 11 year old and I would see no need for it not to be the main present. (Although, adding in a itunes voucher, new cover etc might be nice)

Have you actually asked your DC, he genuinely might not care. My DCs are late teens/adults and it would never have bothered them.....and i promise i am not just saying that. I wouldn't worry about him not being able to show off a 'new' iPad to his friends. .

That's just not a gift. Second hand or otherwise.

Awful. Honestly. One of the oddly saddest suggestions I've read on here.

It would be awful of your DH to pass his old ipad off as a birthday gift for his son when the reality is that it means he gets a new one. That is a horrible way for him to think.

If you've agreed that your son is getting an ipad for his birthday, then get him his own, new ipad.

If your DH insists he wants a new ipad as well, then they can both have ipad minis, as long as your ds hasn't been promised a regular ipad already.

Yes it is a crap present, why not buy him a kindle fire which is about £100 or an android tablet. Or buy him an I pad 2/3 secondhand in mint condition.

You need to ask your son what he thinks.

Totally agree, an 12y will notice and be very very miffed.

Old ipad and a good phone for secondary or another oresent you couldn't otherwise afford fine.

But just an old ipad when an adult gets a shiny new one nope.

It's always the way with tec that however, gets the most recent present gets the latest model. (Bar DCs under about 10 who might drop it).

DD1 will get a shiny iphone 5 when her contract runs out, and I'll still have my 4,

I don't think there is anything wrong with passing on the old iPad, maybe you could say that if he looks after it he will have a new one in x years or if he saves money to contribute or something.

I wouldn't give it as a birthday gift though, maybe you could say he will have money towards a new one, or the old iPad and a token gift.

The old one plus present would be alright but I would get it repaired and buy a jazzy cover to go with it.

I agree with (almost) everyone else. Ds should have the new one or two minis. Ds3 (7) just got an i-pad mini and it's lovely.

""You need to ask your son what he thinks.""

That's putting the child on the spot and while he might feel crushed that his parents aren't actually buying him anything for his Birthday, he may not have the confidence to say so.

How would you feel if your DP bought himself something new for Christmas/Birthday and then gave you his used, damaged old one, instead of getting you a present?

Has your DP been given anything for Fathers Day? If not give him a pair of your old socks, see how he feels.

Just want to clarify- dh isn't insisting he has the new one, more of a suggestion. (A bad one granted!). I was surprised he even said it and when I said no I think ds should have the new one he agreed it sounded worse out loud than it did in his head. I'm asking here because I wondered if I was being unreasonable in giving ds a nicer iPad than dh.

An iPad mini is a great suggestion that I will probably do.

DH is BU. My BILis like this with his 3 kids, and he can't understand why they want nothing much to do with him now. Your DS should get the new one and DH can save up for his.