to be surprised by single sex changing rooms in M&S!

[MrsMaturin]

There is a new M&S near us. It's pretty huge with ladieswear downstairs with a changing room and then menswear and childrens upstairs also with a changing room.
This week I took dd2 (13) to look for a school skirt which she had to try one because school are v fussy about length. We found two and headed over to the changing rooms on that floor. When we got there the man wouldn't let us in saying it was men only. I pointed out that the children's department was also on that floor with no separate facility but he was implacable. AIBU in finding this really odd? The changing rooms are all made up of cubicles and I've never been told they are single sex. If I had been shopping with my son would I be told to wait outside, unable to see how the garments looked on him? This is a minor issue of course but his officious exclusion of us really made me cross plus the ladies changing rooms were miles away. If we'd wanted the staff there to fetch us something else it would have taken them quite some time.
Or am I being weird and you would expect changing rooms to be single sex only in a major clothing shop/department store?

Thank goodness - one person who thinks like me I will now ignore the rest of you and declare I am not unreasonable!

Have used both so not that bothered either way. But surely it depends on the shop. A shop like M&S has lots of older customers who would probably feel very uncomfortable with people of the opposite sex in the next changing room.

Unisex ones like Gap and H&M have a younger customer base so not such a problem.

As it is a female clothes shop there are no male changing rooms. He dresses male/ female about 60/40. But always male for work as he finds this easier. Individual changing rooms so not changing in front of anyone or expecting to look at semi naked women. Just to have the same opportunites as others.
Being transgendered is something he is really struggling with. After many years of grabbing mis matched, wrongly sized outfits he wants to be able to dress in something that looks and feels comfortable.

Can he understand the reluctance of women to have someone in a male form in their changing rooms?

I understand it might be difficult for him - perhaps dressing as a woman on the days he's clothes shopping, or choosing shops with multiple changing areas, or buying online might be easier?

Yes of course he understands.

I think that after so many years of being ashamed of who he is it is such a big deal to him to be able to walk in try something on and come out with something that looks good.

He often shops in female clothing but not always.
On the day we were shopping he was looking for a new suit for a wedding,I was looking for a dress for the same occasion.
None of his family know as yet that he cross dresses as he has never felt confident enough to tell them.....turning up in a frock may have turned heads
He just happened to spot the dress by chance and loved it.

I can understand it must be hard for him - but Monsoon did the right thing imo.

Duchess - He dresses male for work because he finds it easier. But expects women to compromise on what they want, so he can use women's changing rooms when he is not at work.

He sounds like a self centred idiot.

I have MtoF friends who have had full surgery and live as a woman full time who show more consideration to women than he does.

But expects women to compromise on what they want

I didn't read anything that made name think he expected women to do anything. Did he make a fuss?

I think after so many years of keeping his feelings repressed he can be a little excitable.
He didn't kick up a fuss after being refused, just walked out with his confidence knocked.He has so often bought items that don't fit properly and is too shy to take them back.
He is currently in counselling with a transgender specialist, so hopefully will understand his own feelings better.

I can certainly understand why the shop did what they did.
He wanted to be discreet about it, unfortunately there were no facilities for him.
I may encourage him to go back to the same shop in female dress to see if it makes a difference.

my local M&S only has one set of changing rooms, individual cubicles, so presumably that's for both men and women.

Debenhams has women only on one floor but then lingerie is on another floor along with menswear, and there is only one set of changing rooms on that floor.
GAP also one set of changing rooms. And all the sports shops too. The only shops I can think of with separate ones are TK Maxx and Matalan - they both share an entrance but have men on one side, women on the other.

I've never really thought about it before. I don't really care one way or the other but I wouldn't want anyone else, male or female, to see me in a state of undress. I was horribly verbally abused by a group of other women as a teenager once in a communal changing room 'look at her tits, I'd kill myself if mine were as big as that, what a freak, why don't you just die?' , so I don't feel any 'safer' around other women than I would around men when it comes to harassment.

I was told in M&S that ds2 could use the ladies changing room provided he was no older than 8 years old (thankfully it was about 2 weeks before his 9th birthday).

kim haven't seen a communal changing room in years, but 20 years ago they were very common.

I remember as a teenager when Chelsea Girl turned into River Island, the most exciting part for me and my friends was that it had changing cubicles

Wherever I have been they are single sex changing rooms. I can't see the problem. My sons just went and changed and came out to show me.

Thankfully they don't have communal ones any more- I hated them!

Our local (large and fairly old-at least 15 years) M&S has two ladies' changing rooms and one mens' changing room.

I know this because I took my then 5yo ds to try on some smart clothes and got turned away from the ladies because he was male-then turned away from the mens because I needed to help him try on.

I made a complaint (or rather offered to change him in the middle of the floor as he wasn't bothered) and the manager said it was ridiculous and took me (and ds) to the ladies.
I did point out that I wasn't sure why as all the changing facilities are in changing rooms with doors, so no way can anyone see it. I can see the point in having one ladies' and one mens', but making the third unisex would make complete sense,

Shops which don't allow a disabled person to ve assisted by carer of opposite sex are almost certainly discriminating and acting illegally.

I'm not aware of any laws regarding children with opposite sex adult but shops are shooting themselves in the foot.

My local pool has a mixed sex 'changing village'. It is fucking horrible. Ok, you're in a cubicle but your clothes etc are in a locker and you have to be fully dressed just to grab something from it.

And there are teenaged boys being grim in direct earshot as you stand shivering in your cubicle, and male body smells all around. Horrible way to do things, i think. And I'm no conservative shrinking violet.

Does anybody remember hard sell type jeans shops, where the changing rooms had no mirrors in them, thusforcing you out onto the shop floor to see yourself, and to let the commission-only sales assistant tell you how fabulous you looked?

Those shops were a disgrace.

A lot of swimming pools have unisex changing villages these days. People are taking off considerably more than they would in a shop's fitting room. Everybody is out of sight in cubicles - what is the problem?

I heard one or two concerns when a local pool switched to a changing village (peeping) but walls too high and makes it easier for parents to look after their DCs

That sounds awful Morris the changing village. But increasingly, no one seems to care what women think.