to be surprised by single sex changing rooms in M&S!

[MrsMaturin]

There is a new M&S near us. It's pretty huge with ladieswear downstairs with a changing room and then menswear and childrens upstairs also with a changing room.
This week I took dd2 (13) to look for a school skirt which she had to try one because school are v fussy about length. We found two and headed over to the changing rooms on that floor. When we got there the man wouldn't let us in saying it was men only. I pointed out that the children's department was also on that floor with no separate facility but he was implacable. AIBU in finding this really odd? The changing rooms are all made up of cubicles and I've never been told they are single sex. If I had been shopping with my son would I be told to wait outside, unable to see how the garments looked on him? This is a minor issue of course but his officious exclusion of us really made me cross plus the ladies changing rooms were miles away. If we'd wanted the staff there to fetch us something else it would have taken them quite some time.
Or am I being weird and you would expect changing rooms to be single sex only in a major clothing shop/department store?

There are no changing rooms in the children's dept of our M&S. Thw bra fitting changing rooms are up the other end if that floor or you have to go downstairs to ladies or upstairs to men's.

I have never seen unisex changing. If I has both dd. & ds with me I would expect to have to go to two different changing rooms for them (ds at age 10 but the size of a 6 year old I'd probably get away with )

Dd who is 12 would be mortified if I tried to get her to Jo to the men's changing room.

Your arguments Corus are ones for single sex toilets. You are talking about the need to create men only cubicles with urinals.

So men's need for privacy gets acknowledged, and women's gets ignored.

Changing rooms where you might expect to have either sex visiting should be unisex.
Changing rooms where you would only expect one sex to be visiting (eg in the lingerie department) should be unisex.

It is utterly ridiculous to have a department such as children's wear somewhere there isn't unisex changing facilities.

And surely a sales assistant can get into a changing cubicle without anyone seeing inside.

Canus that doesn't make you sound exceedingly poor. We're poor and can't afford to shop in M&S or Primark, it used to be the charity shop but £5 for a t-shirt is too expensive so we've had to start going to Peacocks.

I agree with calmet I would not want a man seeing me half dressed either. I would be more comfortable being half naked in a room with a lesbian than I would with a gay man. It's not about whether they're attracted to me or not. I can't tell from a glance if a man is gay or a woman is a lesbian. But I do know that as a woman we have the same bits and pieces so I feel better around women.

That said, I've been in a bunch of unisex changing rooms and haven't thought much of it. Guys typically don't try on clothes in trendy shops like GAP, Forever 21, etc.. They're set up differently though too. The stalls lead directly to the store, not into a separate room.

It's not very common to have an assistant bring you clothes over here either, so no one leaves the stall half dressed. Sometimes it happens in specialty bra stores, but otherwise, you're basically on your own.

do children usually try clothes on? mine never have

single sex cubicles are the norm in big dept stores, aren't they?

I had this in Debenhams once. They refused to open the child's changing room and seemed to think it would be ok to insist DS (12) went down 3 floors to menswear to try on the clothes. I insisted he went in the ladies changing rooms (not lingerie) and he did. It was shortly after opening time and there were no other customers trying stuff on.

This thread has reminded me that it has been literally years since I could last do trying-on shopping.

::glares at nearly-6yo and his siblings::

Oh the luxury.

do children usually try clothes on?

Sometimes. There are some things I can buy easily but others need trying on now the DC are older. Also, they start having opinions as to what suits them, dammit

I'd of thought that was pretty standard tbh OP every high street store I've ever encountered has been single sex changing rooms. I'd of just taken DD to the ladies ones - bit of a pain for you as they were further away though I agree.

But lots of men aren't going to feel comfortable using a urinal in a mixed toilet are they?

I'm sure my workmates would be really uncomfortable with me wandering in while they were stood taking a leak.

Come to think of it, lots of women, and quite a few men would be uncomfortable with the opposite sex seeing them checking their appearances over / doing makeup etc.

Anyhoo.

Fitting rooms are generally single sex aren't they, by default.

I go outside to give a twirl for DH if I like something, I don't need him in there with me, where people might be slinging bras around or whatever!

At least communal fitting rooms seem to have gone now.

At risk of over sharing, in this family, boys and men sit down to pee

I'm beginning to think we are a family of uninhibited, non-conforming freaks!

You could just get dressed. Or take in all the clothes you want to try on. How posh are you that you have assistants fetch and carry all the clothes you want to try on?

Vair' vair' posh!

I sometimes underestimate my size and then I need a different one. As I can't be @rsed to get dressed again I ask for help (which I think is as it should be)

I don't really follow where urinals came in to it But anyway I'm gripped to discover everybody knew changing rooms are de facto single sex - except me. I've been living in Yorkshire not Mars. How did I not know? There is no need for fisticuffs though.

Ah that explains it. It's all very avant garde and licentious in Yorkshire

MrsMaturin - I am also from Yorkshire (about 20 miles outside of York) and I've never encountered anything but single sex changing rooms. I do think things have gone slightly off topic though...

I've also never heard of anything other than single sex changing rooms... I mean they often have actual signs on them, don't they? 'Ladies' changing ->' or 'Men's changing

I have NEVER seen signs!

Is everybody going to say they've seen SIGNS now?

Best thing is not to faff around with shops and changing rooms but to shop online instead and try things on at home. Much less hassle. And you've got allyour shoes, accessories, tops etc to hand to see if they go with the new items.
I have not been 'shop shopping' for clothes for about 10 years. Just buy loads of stuff online, try it on and send back what you don't want.

"do children usually try clothes on? mine never have"

You must be very fortunate to have children who are a standard size. DD has always been skinny with long legs. Buying trousers for her when she was younger was a nightmare.

She is 13 now and it is easier because I can now buy her adult size 6. Clothes for age 13 girls are too short and too wide.

I don't think I've seen signs either in the single sex ones. It's just pretty obvious because of where it's positioned. Or maybe I have. You know I really haven't put very much thought into changing rooms, they're just kind of ...there... and I've never had trouble or uncertainty with them. Next time I go shopping I'll keep an eye out for how they work.

Our local H&M has kidswear on the same floor as menswear. There is one cubicle for children within kidswear and the rest are in menswear. If the kidswear one was busy I don't think I'd feel comfortable taking DS into menswear purely because the men changing in there might not want a woman in there. When DP tries stuff on I always feel a bit awkward popping my head in there when other men are coming in and out because they might want me to get lost but are too polite to say!

I work in a women's clothing store and men are not allowed in the fitting room. They have to wait on the chairs outside. This is because other woman may feel uncomfortable with a bloke standing around in there. We only have curtains, not doors. And it's quite a narror fitting room so someone standing outside a cubicle would be in the way. Most women come out with what they've tried on so they can look in the big mirror outside the cubicles. I've also had women chat to me about the item while standing in their bra and knickers. Some women are not bothered about being seen in their undies so might not want a bloke in the fitting room too.

"Best thing is not to faff around with shops and changing rooms but to shop online instead and try things on at home. Much less hassle."

Much more hassle to do that in my case. I am pear shaped and always end up taking two sizes into the changing room. I like to try clothes on and make an instant decision to buy there and then and not faff about with waiting for deliveries and then having the hassle of returning stuff. I would also have to buy two of everything.