To think water only at school is ridiculous

[Joanne279]

I'm having a gripe at my kids new school. We werent informed of the water only rule before we started.

Ds aged 6 and dd aged 9 (suffers with autism) now refuse to drink.

Ds, on the grounds he hates water. I gave him flavoured water which he likes, but the school said no!!!!!

Dd, has been allowed to take squash because is her ASD but now refuses to even take a drink because she's different to everyone else. She won't drink water at all.

The teachers all drink coffee/tea in the staff room but kids are water only! Surely the teachers should be setting the example?

I've rang the council who say the healthy rules are at the school discretion. I'm waiting for a call back from the head teacher because I think it's stupid! I could understand if I was sending them with coke or lucozade, but flavoured water a no no? Really?

Just wondered what you all thought x

My dd1 would turn down water in that situation, delphiniums. Dd2 and ds wouldn't, so clearly it's not just down to my parenting.

Agree with OneinEight, even knowing you are thirsty can be an issue for some children.

Alarm on snooze: when did she stop drinking water? Was she given an alternative at some point? I'm not accusing you of causing the change in your dd's drinking habits, I'm just curious about why there was a sudden change. Do children realise at some point that there is an alternative to water and that they can have it regularly if they refuse water?

There are not many like that OneInEight. I am talking about the majority. I have once been in a position where I would have given all I owned for a drink of water. We don't generally get to that extreme!

DD2 would take one sip after a 10 mile hike to make her mouth stop hurting, she wouldn't drink a measurable amount.

I've seen her spit out water the Scout leader forced on her at the end of camp tidying up.

At 13 she is getting much better about food, she realises she is a pain.

Water she still totally refuses, but at 13 you start to have your views accepted so it's far less of an issue.

We are also not talking about not having drinks- just about only having water for part of the day.
We only got water at lunch when I was at school and some didn't drink that- we survived! Schools were also far more authoritarian. We couldn't take packed lunches - we had the school dinner or we had to go home for lunch. There were no snacks- no wonder children were far healthier!

Int the schools I am familiar with, they have water in bottles during the day and a box/bottle/pouch of juice or whatever in their lunchbox.
So they drink water between 9-12 and 1-3ish.
Maximum time of deprivation if they hate water, 3 hours.

It is also a problem of very privileged people. I find it very unlikely that a child in a third world country will spit out water and hold out for sugar in it!!

Exactly Goblinchild! Drink a lot at lunch, before school and when you get home.

Impatient, she was 2 and a half when she stopped drinking water. Up until that point she had had milk (breast, formula, cow) or water. She knew dh/I drank eg tea or coffee, but that about it probably.

She was given an alternative probably about 3 weeks after she stopped drinking entirely. But turned it down. After about 5 weeks of no fluids being taken voluntarily, I stepped up my alternatives campaign (literally no liquids beig drunk at all, only liquid gained trough diet, eg eating soup or yoghurt), but it still took months if offering alternatives before she actually tried one. And many more months and years if work before she drank more than about 50ml in a day. Which is why whole-school no-water policies (across all school time, not just lesson time) were such a problem for her/us.

If she wasn't drinking anything anyway, then surely the water only rule didn't make much difference?

She was drinking, albeit minimally by the time she was at preschool. But drinking only a particular type of juice.

Stopping her drinking when she wanted a drink (which in itself was a rare occurrence) was really quite damaging, in that she learnt that when she was thirsty at school she was unable to drink. This lasted far longer than her time at preschool. So at one point, once at school, she was leaving he house at 8.30 in the morning, and getting back at 4.30pm. And had no access to an acceptable drink for all tha time. And I was not allowed to send in a separate lunch for her, so there was little by way of liquid-maximising going on. A pretty serious situation, health wise. All brought about because the people in charge at the school also thought I was just generally pandering, and they could get her over it (Nevermind we'd been working for years by this point already).

Would you seriously be happy with that as a situation? Your chd drinking a few sups if juice before school, then no fluids at all for 8 hours, then having 2 and a half hours to get some adequate liquid I to them before bedtime?

Kids don't like water because at some point they develop a taste for it being flavoured/sweetened.

I agree that a little sugar isn't bad from time to time. But for a kid to drink cordial in water, day in, day out means they are either having a constant source of sugar, or artificial sweetener, every day, most of the day.

It means their brain is constantly exposed to a sweet taste. Which no doubt affects other choices - as the brain then will choose the sweeter version of whatever is on offer.

How is this sensible?

I have three friends whose kids are overweight and they are the kids who only like "juice" to drink.

It might be a coincidence but it's made me leave juice for parties and treats. I'm glad that my kids' school won't undermine this.

Alarmonsnooze: your dd sounds like there is a genuine issue rather than just not liking water. I understand that a very small number of children have genuine problems with food / drink and schools should consider these cases and make allowances. I know that my children's schools both make allowances in genuine cases (children who need specific high energy snacks etc).
However, I think in the majority of cases it is a case of preference rather than genuine reason and I don't think schools or parents should pander to those preferences. Water only prevents sticky mess and forgotten bottles going mouldy etc.

Impatient, as I mentioned up thread, the diagnosis rate for ASD is now at 1 in 60 children. That's a significant minority.

And often, even when there is a genuine need, exceptions are not made - I am ok the only parent to have found this. Usually, there is a period of general patronising and teachers being sure they know best before a parent is taken seriously. This can have serious consequences in terms of attitude and habit, not to mention health.

I am facing a similar task with dd2's school currently, over a completely different issue, but one which will still have long reaching consequences. They have now consulted 'the professionals' who, as it happens have said exactly the same as I did, and so they are now considering what and how to change things round for dd2. Quite why they couldn't listen to me is anyone's guess!

I have just had a telephone conversation with ds. He is 19, at uni a couple of hundred miles away.
Hi Mum, you okay? I've had a headache all morning, can't shift it. Really annoying me, thought it would clear if it stormed, but it hasn't.
Me: What have you done today.
Him: Been into town, bought some books, walked in, walked back, went to Tesco.
So, where did you stop for a cup of tea?
Him: Oh, haven't had a drink today.

He has gone for a cuppa. His headache will be gone soon. He doesn't get the texts from the uni to remind him to eat and drink at the weekend, and his phone had messed up and re-set itself so his drink and eat alarms had gone awol.
He has ASD. He is 19. He would not have drunk water at school. He would pass out.
Oh, and I'm 55 and we had water in hot weather at school in the sixties.

I get that grown ups do different things to children. My question wasn't about the school saying that they had to have water but more to those who were bashing those that give their dc's squash.

According to them, it is unhealthy and bad for teeth so why would you give it to yourself if its too unhealthy for your dd's.

I don't wish my dc's to smoke or do drugs as I believe they are bad for you. I don't do these things myself either.

Alarm - not all kids with ASD have issues with drinking. I've worked with kids with ASD for over 10 years now both in teaching and caring and can count on one hand the number of food/drink issues I've had to deal with.

I don't think anyone here is saying exceptions shouldn't be made for genuine need.

Intheend, yes I realise that. Even in my small sample I have I e who does and one who doesn't. My point wa more that those children with ASD are likely to need some exemption froma blanket rule at some point I their school career - over food, drink, swimming, assembly, oh all kinds of things.

I also ;despite how it may come across on this thread) know that there are excellent, dedicated teachers out there who do a marvellous job. There are also some shocking examples of teachers, who do far more damage than they realise when they insist on 'trying' before an exception to a blanket rule is made.

Of course exceptions should be made for genuine need and I fully expect they are. Exceptions should not be made for the majority who know that if they hold out mother will give in and change for sugared drinks.

I wonder if there are charities shipping squash out to the water refusing children in countries where there is no access to squash.

Ikeaismylocal

Not squash, but similar, Oxfam, savethechildren, Unicef, etc etc etc. a package for solutes to add to water has been designed which fits between the coke bottles on coka cola crates, to get as many distributed as far as possible

allsfair, surely that's to replace electrolytes lost because of dehydration? Not quite the same as sending out squash because the children refuse to drink water?

It's the same principle,

Apparently my dd's reception teacher drinks lucozade in the classroom and who can blame her in the care of 31, 4 yr olds in a school that seems to be constantly overheated.

My dc drink water.

But its not beyond my imagination to see that some don't and I'd rather they just had some squash and be properly hydrated.

Glad the school my dc attend don't have any of these ridiculous lunch box requirements.

I think you'll find many teachers do set an example and drink water in the classrooms - hot drinks go cold before they have had time to drink them and fizzy drinks would be flat, not that I know any teachers who would dream of drinking them in class.

I can see that parents have difficulty getting their children to drink water and they are going to give in because the child knows they are concerned about the amount of liquid and they will get their own way.
I can't understand why they don't welcome a school rule where they have to drink water for a few hours in the day. Excluding those few with a special need there seem to be a lot colluding with making sure that their children are getting sugar, colour and flavourings all day. Very odd!
All goes to prove that children don't get enough exercise.