To think water only at school is ridiculous

[Joanne279]

I'm having a gripe at my kids new school. We werent informed of the water only rule before we started.

Ds aged 6 and dd aged 9 (suffers with autism) now refuse to drink.

Ds, on the grounds he hates water. I gave him flavoured water which he likes, but the school said no!!!!!

Dd, has been allowed to take squash because is her ASD but now refuses to even take a drink because she's different to everyone else. She won't drink water at all.

The teachers all drink coffee/tea in the staff room but kids are water only! Surely the teachers should be setting the example?

I've rang the council who say the healthy rules are at the school discretion. I'm waiting for a call back from the head teacher because I think it's stupid! I could understand if I was sending them with coke or lucozade, but flavoured water a no no? Really?

Just wondered what you all thought x

When it's drinking water, almost certainly, yes.

You may have my DN for a month (I may need to ask permission first).

I should probably warn you that the last time her mum followed the well meaning advice to just not give in and only offer water she ended up in hospital being rehydrated by IV. I'm not sure how well she'd be doing if you didn't allow her anything to drink for a month.

Yes I am giles.

She's now 13, so she'd just walk out, but at primary age she'd have just charmed your socks off.

I've watched her do it. It's frightening.

Has anyone tried gradual reduction of squash until it's just wat you are giving?

Rafa I don't think that insinuating that giving water is the same as not allowing anything to drink is at all useful.

And no it's not about "breaking" anyone, what a ridiculous turn of phrase.

I can see the "juice on the loose"brigade doesn't really have anything other than emotive statements to resort to, but honestly, is that Thr best you can come up with?

If it was so easy do you not think they would have done it?

What really makes you think you can do it!!

No, but I find it difficult to be confident that I can change a child's behaviour without knowing the child, and the reasons for their refusal.

Nah she wouldn't charm me, I'm an adults. I make decisions based on the best outcomes not cuteness. Otherwise my 9 year old would live on skittles and coke.

Its my job to make the best decisions for her while she is too small to understand the long term implications of them and to find effective ways to support her to implement them. Even if it's tough on me.

I didn't give mine anything but milk and water at home. Do you think that set their tastes for adulthood, and that's why they refuse most beverages? I haven't a clue.

It has taken me nearly 8 years to get dd1 to the point where she will attempt to drink some water. And even then, she will only have a sip before turning it away, no matter how thirsty she is.

Sometimes, all the bollocks 'just give me a week/month' is just ridiculous bravado. And sometimes, whole-school rules (including what can be drunk at playtime/lunchtime) are bollocks too.

8 years, to get from drinking nothing at all to drinking a sip of water (thankfully she will now drink a reasonable amount of flavoured drinks).

Btw, there is another incipient food crisis on the horizon. If any of you clearly better parents could tell me how to stave off another god knows how many weeks of dd1 eating only (and I do mean *only) shred dies, or raisins, or hummous - all foods she has eaten exclusively for periods of time ranging from 2 weeks to about 3 months - then please do speak up. After all. I'm obviously a shit parent with no clue whatsoever, because my dd won't drink water

I think it'd be easier to do it that way goblin, but as a child I had a very sugar heavy drink diet. Fizzy full sugar juices and then as a teenager coffees with several sugars. I have very poor dental health as a result, my excellent dentist has managed to conserve all of my teeth but its always a battle.

I did wean myself off slowly as an adult when I understood a lot more about the whole thing and now mostly drink water, but it was a gradual thing, especially the sugar in the coffee, reducing it down bit by bit.

That's only my personal example but I suppose at least you can get over bad habits formed in childhood in adult life, I must admit to being very pissed off my mother let things get as bad as they did, she claims that in the 80s they didn't know about sugary and fizzy drinks the way that we do now.

AlarmOnSnooze, it's hardly unknown for small children to have really extreme food fads that last for ages - I don't even think three months is all that long. Mine did (about food, not water) and it drove me to despair. He's now out of it, with no apparent harm, but please don't think you are the only one who knows what this is like. It's pretty common.

Alarm does your dd have some type of sensory issue?

Trouble with DD2 isn't just that she was cute.

She was cute, but she's also very clever and pathologically stubborn (even when it's not in her best interests).

She has to feel in control to feel safe.

Primary school never saw the stubborn side of her, they fell hook line and sinker for the charm.

DD1 and me and her long suffering German teacher certainly get the stubborn bit too.

'After all. I'm obviously a shit parent with no clue whatsoever, because my dd won't drink water'

Nope, I think it's along the lines of all those helpful people a decade or so ago that advocated 'Asperger's? Give him to me for a month, I'll soon slap that nonsense out of him. Bit of discipline is all he needs' to me.
Some children are fussy, over-indulged and spoilt, some are not. Unless I knew then personally, I wouldn't be sure of my approach to the issue.
Possibilities and suggestions, yes. Certainty? That's arrogant.

I agree with water only. Those drink even flavoured water a 'loaded' with sugar and additives.

Giles it's often easier for an outsider to implement changes as they're able to be objective. Sometimes the parents are just too close to the situation.

That's why you get sleep specialists and people to help with fussy eating, bad behaviour etc.

It's not really a case of 'if it was that easy they'd do it'.

I'm commenting generally, not specifically about you/your DC btw.

Rhonda, I was a child of the 60s and 70s. There is nothing I don't know about mainlining pop and sweets. The 3 months I spent in a country where the water wasn't safe and we all drank coke was bliss.
But there are children for whom water is anathema, do you really think a child on an IV drip in hospital was just being wilful?

Pinealike - so you have known a child to eat only (absolutely nothing else, not even a mouthful) of eg humous for 12 weeks+ and thought nothing of it?

And dd is not a small child. She is nearing 10. You are talking patronising bollocks, I'm afraid, and clearly have not actually come across a child actual food/eating issues. Otherwise you might have a clue.

My 2 year old has daddy phases. And no, I don't bat an eyelid. Because he's 2. So not eating vegetables, or deciding that eggs are the devils food this week, or insisting that no foods can touch each other on his plate, are all par for the course.

3 months of eating a single food (and not all that much of it, tbh) for breakfast lunch and dinner and all snacks in between is not ok. At all. Especially when coupled with not drinking anything, so no extra nutrients can be sneaked in that way.

Grr, autocorrect. My 2 year old has faddy phases (amongst other typos)

I work with children and I've never come across a child who lived for 3 months on one food stuff alone. It's definitely not a normal/par for the course/developmental stage thing!

Goblin (nice to 'see' you back under that name!) yes, agree entirely re: arrogance.

I am only now getting dd2's school to realise that no, I don't pander to her, and no, I was not deluded/neurotic, and that in fact she does have actual reall difficulties that they are obliged to help her with (dx'd AS last month)

But will someone please think of the poor turnip and lentil juice.

Do we know whether the OP means water only in the classroom but they can drink milk/squash etc at lunchtimes? Or water only full stop? The first seems perfectly reasonable to me and the second not.

Here is why I have a problem with it. I was forced to eat egg whites as a child. I have had a lifelong abhorrence of egg whites ever since. To me, the water situation is similar, and it's counter productive to 'force' children to drink water. Educate them as to why water is a healthy choice, by all means, and keep reinforcing that message over time. But don't force them. DD doesn't like water and we started on weak squash at 10 months old when she was ill, refusing water and getting crystals in her nappy from dehydration. Four years on and we are making progress in that she will now drink water if it is ice-cold, but it is a long game I am playing.

The government weighed and measured my child in Reception year and deemed her to be a healthy weight. The dentist is happy with her teeth. You would think that would be enough and I have proven I am trustworthy as a parent to manage my child's eating habits and could be relied on to make my own judgement call as regards what my child eats and drinks.

Hydration is important and sugar is not bad per se - provided you practice good dental hygiene, aren't consuming more calories than you're burning off/using to grow, and the overall content of your diet is balanced then there is no problem with sugar in moderation. I'd personally avoid squash with sweeteners as many of the sweeteners have an effect on stimulating appetite and that's counter-productive. In my opinion, for my daughter and in the context of her overall diet, I consider weak squash to be fine.