To think it's NOT ok to open my mail

[Babyleopard44]

Me & DH live abroad due to him being in the forces. We own a house in the UK that we don't rent out. I have mail sent there (bank statements, insurance letters, that sort of thing) because it takes any sort of mail around 6 weeks to make it to where we live, and DH has his sent to his DPs as he never changed his address and it's easier for him.
I send my DM round around once a week to collect and open my mail for me which is great. Until about a month ago when MIL decides she will open ALL my mail, including bank statements, when she popped round to the house (she knows it's all my mail as she gets DHs to her house and we are with different banks). I was so angry about this mainly because she then messaged my DH discussing how much money I had in my account!!
Anyway after getting over that I have just found out that MILs dad (GPIL) had been round last week and he has also opened my bank statements etc and discussed them with MIL who then messaged DH to let him know they had read them! I am so mad that they feel they can just read my private mail like that and then discuss it between themselves. I have never asked them or given them permission to do so.
Anyway, GPIL are coming to visit next week (DH is away so stuck with them by myself), WIBU to ask them why they opened my mail and politely ask them not to do it again? WWYD?

Ooo what's in your letter?

It. Is against the law plain and simple. Many years ago when my DP was divorcing his ex wife (through her affairs) she couldn't help herself and opened all sorts of mail. (He'd not long left so hadn't had time to change addresses etc)

Apparently it came up at one of the court hearings and a judge in no uncertain terms told her what would happen if she continued to do it.

Sister-well I wrote a serious letter first but I keep changing it! the new letter involves congratulations for the purchase of a new home in Australia and how we will be very happy now that no one will have access to my mail!

I would go ballistic if someone opened my post. Wouldn't you love to be a flie on the wall when she opens the letter? Pity you don't have a motion sensor camera, that would give you such satisfaction to see her reaction.

Yes I do wonder what she was thinking when she read them! It was obviously exciting enough for her to gossip about it!
Although I'm angry there really wasn't anything interesting as it's an empty bank account (I have two and don't use this one) but she did tell everyone I had an empty bank account! Who does that

Email:

'Dear mil and fil. DH told me about my bank statements, thank you for trying to keep us updated but it isn't necessary as my DM goes round regularly to get my mail and keep me updated and we have a system, so if you go round our house, please can you just leave my mail on the side unopened?

I appreciate you were just trying to help, but I like to keep my own finances between me and DH and my DM doesn't discuss them so that's the arrangement I'd like to keep.

Thanks again for trying to help me. Looking forward to seeing you soon.'

Why is she redecorating your house and you don't have a clue how? It could take you £100s of wasted money to redecorate to your taste. Let alone that she has the nerve to also moan about it.

I would have the serious chat and fall out now rather than after she tries to interfere when DC is born.

Totally agree with Magoria. I wonder whether she'll take it upon herself to decorate a room for the baby (congratulations, by the way) when she finds out?

It sounds like you don't want to cause stress for your DH, and I do understand why, but you shouldn't be having stress at the moment either. He needs to tell them that this isn't acceptable behaviour. And I'd agree with the suggestions to change the locks.

Any update OP? Has your letter been sent & opened & read yet (do you know)?

Dying to find out how this situation develops.

Whatcha there has been a development!
Basically it wasn't DH grandparents that opened the second lot of bank statements it was MIL! She had just said it was them, the only reason I could think of for the lies was to cause a row?? I saw the GP last week when they were on holiday here and it was all very pleasant! They haven't even been to mine and DH house in the uk (they have no need to) so it 100% wasn't them.
At least I know I can't trust MIL which is sad because other than her strange ways like this I do get along wih her!i have redirected all mail although I did want to send a letter so she knew I was on to her, but I thought it would just be best to deny her of all temptation!

That's mad!!!

Glad you were able to work out who was opening the post & sort out that it gets redirected. Thanks too for coming back to update, so many don't.

Very bad MIL behaviour! I would not have been able to resist the temptatin to send a letter...

I think your husband needs to step up to the plate and tell her you want the keys back until she has learnt some boundaries.

The post issue is terrible, but so is the fact that they think it's ok to go round and decorate without your permission (and then moan about it, cheeky gits), or just come around anytime when you are in residence and let themselves in.

He's in the army, he must have some balls I assume. What is it with men tippy toeing round their mothers??

The redirection is fine as a quick fix, but it hasn't taught her to be a bit more respectful of your families private space and belongings. Good luck with your MIL and congratulations on your new baba to be.