To feel upset over a nasty email from a colleague

[charliexcy]

I have been off work since Wednesday with severe tonsillitis. Swollen tonsils, ulcers in my throat, can't speak, eat or drink very well and have a fever. I am on antibiotics now but still feel awful, particularly in the mornings as I wake up at 5am most days with the pain.

But I am the sort of person who hates being off work sick and will always try to come in. I tried to struggle in yesterday but ended up nearly in tears as swallowing pain relief was so agonising. I wanted to go back today because I hate letting my co workers down and I even phoned my boss saying that. But my boss told me to take Friday to fully recover and not to rush back.

The nature of the job is that I still have to work from home so I emailed some work in to the woman who is my line manager and got a response that made me feel quite upset. It was harsh in tone and was basically implying that things were not going well because of my absence and that I had caused a lot of problems by being ill.

Feeling quite down anyway due to the pain, I worried about this all evening. I sent an email back of a similar tone explaining that I didn't mean to cause inconvenience but I was ill. She has made me feel even worse and now the feelings of upset have turned to anger. I've felt guilty and anxious for not being there and have tried to make this easy for her by getting up at 6 every day to email her work from home. It's not like I've had loads of time off - perhaps 5 days spread throughout the year due to a cancer scare and treatment.

AIBU to feel upset about this? Not once has she even asked how I'm feeling and had ignored my emails prior to this one. In general, she is not a nice person and most of her emails are rude and condescending anyway, but she had no need to make me feel worse for being ill. Dreading checking my email now in case she's replied with something even worse.

Our cover proforma, designed by someone who teaches just the four lessons a week, involves a literacy and numeracy objective, starter, main activities, plenary and AfL activity. What they fail to allow for is the fact that the kids just take the piss out of the cover supervisor and do no work anyway, so it is all a big waste of time. If I was missing a six-period day I would have to get up before I went to bed to have time to set all the work.

I have actually had to send in a picture of me in hospital on a drip to stop the constant emails asking when I was coming back to work.

arethereany I'd actually say that 8 days since September would be bloody good going, especially considering the amount of bugs and germs flying around over the winter. Working in a school environment on top of that - when I was at school, most of my teachers had definitely more than 8 days off in the school year.

Seriously? I think private sector is very different then, or perhaps it's office work which us different. I never had a single day off in the 13 years I worked for my company,and that's not meant in a stealth boast way, cos that was just the norm where I worked. The odd person might take the odd day off but definitely not 8!

I've had 2 days off for myself in the last 3 years (I fell over & cracked a couple of ribs, signed off for a week, took two days).

Before that, I can't even remember being off, in years. I'd disagree that 8 sick days in a year is customary, & in fact it'd trigger scrutiny under the Bradford Factor.

Mind you, you do have to bear in mind that d&v will theoretically require 48 hours off post-symptoms, in a school environment (I'd assume in lots of other workplaces too) - not that you'd get much sympathy where I worked if you were honking on Tuesday & not seen until Friday...

& not actually 'ill as in totally incapacitated' things like having laryngitis, say, might see you signed off for a couple of days - if you can't talk, you probably can't teach. No reason you couldn't do all the departmental KS3 cover planning for next year whilst your lessons were covered, in theory, but in practice, those mechanisms don't seem to exist.

An aside but some people do pick up more bugs than others, and I suspect you pick up more teaching younger children as they get closer to you and don't always know to not sneeze and cough over you.

I teach secondary and have managed to not have a day off for many years, but it is luck of the draw. I didn't get in a lift with a coughing pupil last week- I didn't want whatever lurgy she had got. I decided the stairs would be a healthier option all round.

I hope you are better soon OP and that you do follow this up with HR or a DH so that your HOD doesn't do this to anyone else.