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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Expect DH to Facebook defriend OW after affair ended?

77 replies

st273447 · 04/06/2014 16:10

So the affair has ended and DH committed to our relationship, but my DH is still FB friends with OW?

Should I have to ask to defriend or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ManchesterAunt · 04/06/2014 16:13

How could you even think you would be unreasonable in asking that? Confused

DeepThought · 04/06/2014 16:13

Of course he should defriend and block

Omg at him not doing it yet

Slightly concerning that he hasn't - did he end the affair in front of you, have you got full unfettered access to his emails, phone, tablet etc?

AnyFucker · 04/06/2014 16:14

You have to ask us this ?

LEMmingaround · 04/06/2014 16:14

Its not over

WowserBowser · 04/06/2014 16:14

Yes of course YANBU. It should have already been done.

wrapsuperstar · 04/06/2014 16:14

If you are genuinely questioning if this is unreasonable he has really done a number on you.

ApocalypseThen · 04/06/2014 16:15

Definitely not over.

WowserBowser · 04/06/2014 16:16

If he is being resistant to doing this then i'd say he's not comitted to working it out with you.

Topaz25 · 04/06/2014 16:16

YANBU. I would not want them to have any contact.

shirkingviolent · 04/06/2014 16:16

Er, yeah-hur!

If he has to be asked to do this he is insensitive to your feelings at the very least. Why would he think you'd be ok with her seeing your life on FB?

pregnantpause · 04/06/2014 16:17

WtfShock yanbu- but if he hasn't done it automatically then I question if he is committed to your relationship and rebuilding trust.

Talisawasnotsupposedtobethere · 04/06/2014 16:18

You are SO NOT being unreasonable!

Surely this is going to be totally unanimous?!

meditrina · 04/06/2014 16:18

"Should I have to ask to defriend or am I being unreasonable?"

Of course he should defriend. The only unreasonable bit here is that you are having to ask. He should have done it himself already.

squoosh · 04/06/2014 16:20

Hmmm, it's a tough one..............

MrsBungle · 04/06/2014 16:20

Erm, yanbu!

KoalaDownUnder · 04/06/2014 16:21

Are you kidding??

If he's digging in his heels, then he is completely taking the piss. He should have done it without being asked! Shock

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 04/06/2014 16:21

Unbelievable.

Sure you want to even bother with this turd?

Nancy66 · 04/06/2014 16:21

It's fine. And if they want to trade the odd sex text and nude selfie then that's ok too...

AnyFucker · 04/06/2014 16:21

OP, has he agreed to stop shagging her yet ? Or do you think it would be unreasonable of you to ask this of him ? Hmm

Please think about whether this is actually a man worth getting over the pain of being cheated on for.

gamerchick · 04/06/2014 16:23

Eh, why hasn't he done it already? Does he not use Facebook much?

Writerwannabe83 · 04/06/2014 16:26

WTAF - if you actually think it's possibly ok for you husband to be FB friends with his previous OW then something isn't right in your head!

I can't get my head around how this could even happen!???

whatsagoodusername · 04/06/2014 16:36

Unless he never-ever-ever-ever goes on Facebook and has not been on AT ALL since you found out about the OW, there is no excuse for his not defriending and blocking her.

YANBU. He shouldn't even hesitate to do it if he's committed to you.

whatsagoodusername · 04/06/2014 16:38

You shouldn't have to ask. He should have done it when he cut contact and deleted her phone number and emails and any other form of contact.

ApocalypseThen · 04/06/2014 16:39

If it was over the other woman would have done the needful here. She hasn't because she doesn't know they've broken up.

SlimJiminy · 04/06/2014 16:46

YANBU. Agree that if OW thought it was over she'd have deleted/blocked him herself.